Nov 7, 2022
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Langdon's Chronic Pain Potential: Hidden Disabilities Meta - The Pitt
buckle up fuckos (affectionate) I have Things To Say regarding the emergence of the true villain of the pitt season 2: frank langdon's back injury/ongoing chronic pain. Prepare thyselves for the following: much meta/analysis -much disability advocacy/discussion, esp related to hidden disabilities and stigmas/associations with that, incl internalised ableism -dropping of Ro lore/gratuitous personal annecdotes, bc this is something I have a fair chunk of personal experience with and Im gonna be Real annoying abt it! -no real plan. I stream of consciousness this shit, you get what you get, some of it will probably hopefully be somewhat enlightening/insightful, we shall find out! Now: on to business.
I think The Pitt actually has the opportunity (and the set-up, I'll get there in a minute) to do something incredibly interesting with Frank's pain storyline (I mean there are obviously MANY interesting things they can do) but specifically with regards to invisible illnesses/hidden disabilities/the perceptions and stereotypes surrounding disabled people, and especially something like chronic back pain.
Because, on paper, Frank Langdon is pretty much the poster boy for what a non-disabled person looks like. If you put everyone in The Pitt in a line-up and asked people to guess, based on appearance alone, who has a physical disability among them: nobody's picking Frank.
He's a tall, young, conventionally attractive, fit and capable looking standard white dude. He is about as far away as you can get from the general idea of what a disabled person looks like - and especially someone with back pain, which tends to be thought of as like an 'old person' issue/conjures up images of shuffling, stooping, shuffling geriatric grandmas with hunches. So the polar opposite of Frank, essentially. So here's where we can get: INTERESTING.
I REALLY hope (for selfish, selfish, and also disability awareness reasons) that they lean into the 'but you don't look disabled/in pain/like you're struggling'. I want this to COOK. I want it to be the Exact Opposite of Mohan's situation in 2x10 where we got that 'you look like shit' 'I feel like shit' interaction. I want this to be a case of 'you look fine' 'I feel like shit' '....okay but you LOOK fine'. Because that, unfortunately, is something that happens a lot and is a very real (and EXTREMELY infuriating thing chronically ill/disabled people have to deal with).
We've already had teeny tiny breadcrumb hints at this, too. Because you know for all the things that Robby and Frank said to each other during The Great Protegee Divorce of 2025 - one of the lines that haunted ME personally (and Frank) was where he reminded Robby about him hurting his back helping his parents move and told him "you teased me about it".
Ugh.
The pain.
Bc (and i Know This. Deeply. In my SOUL. Bc I injured my back around the age of 11/12 and. Yeh. U can imagine how ppl reacted to that lmfao) - But now Frank is dealing with chronic back pain...but chronic back pain that you do not/cannot/will not mention because you're too afraid that literally no one will believe it. That they'll laugh at you and tease you for it. Because 'you're too young for that' 'it doesn't look sore' etc etc etc. (I am NOT blaming Robby for this, obviously, Robby's response was a natural symptom of a bigger problem, and there was no malice in it). But the way Frank remembers it? THAT'S what he uses to try and hook Robby in/remind him 'I moved for my parents, I injured my back - you teased me about it, remember? Remember the teasing/remember this convo bc of that'. It STUCK.
So now here's where we start getting REAL interesting. Because Frank is a Prime Candidate to explore internalised ableism with.
Because he probably agreed with Robby's teasing! It IS stupid! It's a daft thing - because you know no-one means any harm by it, but that's partly why it's so insidious. Because It's just societal/a built-in expectation that we all have. 'Back pain = crotchety old person with some aches and pains'. It's something I'm sure Frank already had internalised as well. But it's really hard to take something seriously when it's something almost everyone will default to making stupid jokes about if you ever mention it. Invalidation stacks up. It's never the first doubt, or the second, or the third, but once you've heard the same thing fifty times, you start believing it. To the point where you actually start gaslighting yourself about your actual pain/experiences. To where it starts becoming a personal problem of 'I'm just weak/I'm just pathetic and can't deal with pain. this ismy fault. I need to do better'.
Especially for someone like Mr Hyper-Independence (honey i dont know what ur childhood was like but i KNOW there's trauma rattling round in there, i feel it in ma BONES, u have like zero healthy responses to anything ever) who has a hard time with not being able to do things/being seen to not be able to do things/has been Robby's emotional support Golden Boy for some time with heapings and heapings and heapings of pressure on himself (and from others (Robby)) to be Perfect, to be 'My Best Resident', to have all of your self-worth and identity essentially hinging on that???
Yeah he's not gonna admit to having an "Old Person Injury". He's not going to take the time off needed to properly rest and rehabilitate a back injury (which, additional side note: are a BITCH. you want to do exercise - but not too much! and not that sort! you want to stand up, but also sit down, but also lie down but - OH HOLY FUCK NOT LIKE THAT OH MY GOD!? and this hurts but you should push through it/that means it's good. but that hurts and that means you should NOT push through it/why aren't you listening to your pain wtf!??!?! back problems are: THE DEVIL, okay. just. believe me.).
He's not going to let something his attending teased him about/something so stupid as hurting his back while helping his parents move because he was too cheap to pay for a mover (so it's: His Fault) stop him from being a great doctor and saving lives! He's just going to get on with it! And...self-medicate. And develop an addiction to benzos. Which. Okay that didn't go great! Aaaand he's 10 months clean and he's doing his steps and going to meetings and pissing in cups and all of that is going Great. So no more self-medicating! Wonderful!
Except...Except he's still in pain. They told him that the withdrawal was the reason he was having pains (we've seen this as an idea on the show, too - Robby mentions it to a drug-addicted patient. and any old House viewers I'm sure remember it cropping up there, too) but for Frank...For Frank his back is still being a little bitch.
But he can't TELL anyone that. Because they obviously won't believe him. Because he doesn't 'look' disabled. He doesn't look like he has a back injury - there's no scar, no bruising, no swelling, it all looks fine! And...oh. Oh Frank are you drug-seeking? Are you telling everyone you're in pain because you want drugs? Oh Frank... In his head he's got like 99 reasons to NOT tell people so he just has to sit down and tough i out because he loves this job and he needs this job and he'll be fine, okay, he'll just be fine.
Spoiler: he will not be fine!
Especially because I can almost guarantee: he's going to keep making his injury worse by forcing himself to do things that he should Not be doing...like picking up and carrying around unconscious children. But okay, okay, that was an emergency, what was he gonna do? Shout for help while there's an unconsicous kid in front of him!? How often that does that happen? It was a one-off, it doesn't count.
Except he's also going to keep doing things that are bad for him because: he's afraid of being accused of being lazy. Or not pulling his weight. Or trying to cherry-pick cases/patients/avoiding certain tasks he just doesn't like. Because he can't be fucked being mocked or belittled with 'hey why the hell isn't Frank the big buff dude lifting that guy/doing that thing? Why you letting your lady colleagues do that there bruh?' (yes this is misogynistic. yes it is ableist. yes it still 100% happens). 'Oi, Frank, sitting down on the job again? Come on! The rest of us are working out here!' 'Wow my doctor sure seems lazy - why has he been sitting down for this entire appointment?' 'Aww, struggling to lift that scrawny little kid there, bud? You need to go back to the gym lol!'
None of these sorts of things are said or thought with any huge amount of deliberate malice or hatred, really. But it all starts to build up over time and resentment festers.
There has been more awareness around hidden disabilities in recent years - but it's still something people feel so entitled to butt in and judge about. It's societal and it's ingrained - these are peoples' default reactions. Looking at someone and wondering if they 'deserve' to use a disabled parking space/bathroom, if they seem 'disabled enough'. I have a number of chronic issues, but none of them are obvious/particularly visible. I know the looks I get, the judgements - and even if they're not there, when you deal with it for so long, you assume they are and start bracing for the impact because it just becomes a learned response.
And the worst thing is: these people are probably trying to help/have good intentions. They're trying to 'protect' "real" disabled people/make sure they have access to things that they need. The problem is when we try to arbitrarily decide what is 'disabled enough', and so much of that is rooted in stigma and assumption and stereotyping and it has SUCH a huge impact on the disabled person.
Especially for someone like Frank - who both looks/is known for and prides himself on his fitness and his physicality (mr marathon-runner/ice bath taker etc). People will expect him to be able to do certain things because he's done them before/looks capable.
So this then turns every day into a series of tiny moments of assumption and expectation - lift this, hold that, run there, don't sit/give up your seat for someone else who needs it more. And his options are: take the time (which is often NOT abundant in an ER) to explain, awkwardly/force himself to divulge his medical history to try and justify why he Can't do this, which is uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing and can lead people to feel entitled to know more about you than others....or he just grits his teeth, sucks it up, and does the thing. Which is SO much easier, even if it hurts, and even if long-term it's going to make things so much worse.
He's gonna mask his pain/disability so hard it gets to the point where even he believes it. It gets to the point where he can't take the mask off. Where he feels like he's clearly telegraphing I Am Not Okay/I Am In Pain/Please God Help Me signals to all and sundry, begging someone to notice, but they don't. Because he's gotten too good at hiding it.
There's just! Do y'all See The Vision!!! there is so much potential here! My man is PRIMED to absorb every bit of judgement and assumption and invalidation and criticism (perceived or real; internal or external) until it gets to the point for Frank where because he doesn't LOOK disabled: he can't be. And I don't mean that in the sense of 'he cannot have a disability' I mean in the internal, psychological sense of 'he cannot let himself have a disability/he's going to just push on and pretend he doesn't'. Which is (tragically, like his self-medicating/addiction) a behaviour that is only sustainable up to a point. Then it's not. (and ain't that just the theme of this whole damn show! esp this season. look at that! it's all connected!!! or it all could be at least).
Obviously this isn't True Meta lol, because we have no idea where the show is going. I'd honestly hesitate to call it speculation at this point, either, because there aren't really any obvious signposts pointing us down this road yet. This is more like...I'm like a dog who hears someone say the word 'walk' in casual conversation and sits up like 'oh??? is this happening? are we doing this?' It's a hope of what could be/identifying the foundations of what could be an extremely fascinating and impactful storyline and just like @ the pitt writers: hire me, fuckers, I'm COOKING here!!!
Tagging: @eveningspirit @schrodingersregret
Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard Scheme
PT: Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard Scheme. End PT
What is the HD sunflower lanyard?
PT: What is the HD sunflower lanyard? End PT
The hidden disabilities sunflower lanyard is an item from a nonprofit organization called the Sunflower Lanyard Scheme. Wearing the official lanyard from the foundation signifies that you have a hidden disability, and may require extra care, accommodations, or simply more patience.
What’s considered a hidden disability?
PT: What is considered a hidden disability? End PT
A hidden disability, also known as an invisible or non-apparent disability, is any condition that affects your functioning and isn’t immediately recognizable as a disability. Of course, this isn’t a clear line, and a condition that’s a hidden disability on one person may be very visible on the next. Overall, what’s considered a hidden disability is up to your discretion.
Where can I get one?
PT: Where can I get one? End PT
You can get the official lanyard at the Sunflower Lanyard Scheme’s website, click here for the link. Make sure to visit the menu (located at the top right corner, and select which region you are from.
That's right! This month is not only Disability Pride Month, but it'll also see in my 4th anniversary as Twitch Affiliate!!
And while it's not technically until 27th, with my mana being so random, I can't know if I'll be able to celebrate on the day until it comes. So why not just make it a month long celebration, right?
I've also never done a donothon before, and I'm in a bit of a financial pickle, I'm gonna give it a try.
And! I've a pair of moogle slippers to giveaway!! I'll put some photos and extra info under a cut.
Become a supporter of Chronically Kiki today!
i am generally just so frustrated about how overlooked autism does genuinely get because of the younger generations classing it as this silly little thing that makes you quirky and unique and into some shit like roblox or fnaf, and the older generations refusing to believe it actually impacts people mentally. like i'll turn to someone my age and say "oh btw i'm autistic" and the first instinct is either "wueuhh speckyy" or "omg real i have so many hyperfixations and get overstimulated tooooo" (whilst being completely neurotypical).
i am also sick of the idea that if it doesn't present extremely vividly, then it will get overlooked. i have masked my entire life while in social situations, and i will continue to do so even in tears, because i know that people will simply not comprehend the difficulties of navigating a world built for people who excel in social situations and busy environments. so just because i don't skip every day of school, throw chairs around the classroom or burst into tears all the time, it means that i'm not autistic enough to be helped?
i probably sound like a broken record at this point but i am just so tired of hearing situations where people (not just myself) have been turned down support just because they seem to be getting on well. in the end, the blame always lands in the hands of the people who struggle, the people who don't know how to ask for help, and the people who are open about their difficulties relating to autism.
autism is not something we can keep shrugging off as a slight malfunction in someone's abilities.
Do you have a hidden disability?
Yes
No
a little coffee outing with smudge 🩶
currently reading a witch’s guide to magical innkeeping by sangu mandanna. I adored her the very secret society of irregular witches, it made me feel so cosy, so I knew I had to get her new one. so far so good and so cosy! ✨
Is it okay to wear pins on my Sunflower Lanyard for conditions I’m not yet diagnosed with, specifically autism and/or ADHD? I want to add pins on it to make it feel a little less “clinical” while still having some that provide information about my struggles. If wearing pins for stuff I’m not yet diagnosed isn’t okay, I’ll instead wear a pin saying I have anxiety since I have that too.
(Sunflower Lanyard is to signify the wearer has hidden disabilities)