"I'm so tired I just want to die." Yesterday, I went on outreach to Newark Penn Station and, like any other outreach, I thought I was going to make some new friends and have some fun conversation. I was not prepared for the night ahead of me. Last night, my outreach leader, Brett, introduced me to Kassim. I could immediately tell that this was not going to be any normal conversation. Right as I started talking to Kassim he told me that he was ready to end his life. My heart broke for my friend. He told me exactly how he planned on taking his life and that he was going to do it last night. Now for an update on my month, this is the second time in two weeks Brett and I have had a friend come up to us and tell us that they were planning on taking their lives. They explained to us in detail how they planned on doing it, as well. Like the previous time, Brett called 911. My job was to keep Kassim at the spot and to love on him as much as possible. I learned that Kassim's son had just been born 3 days ago and, for some reason, he was unable to go see him. This was taking a toll on him the most. My heart just kept breaking for my friend. When I ran out of questions to ask Kassim, I told him a story. I told him about some of the trials I had in my life, and although they could never come close to what he was going through, I wanted him to know he was not alone and that he could get through this. I told him that when I went through things I wanted someone to be there to listen to me and care for me. I told him I was going to be that person for him. Finally, when the ambulance arrived Kassim was hesitant to talk to the officers; but, thankfully, he went into the ambulance and talked to them. He didn't want to go to the hospital, though. So, after he got out of the ambulance I went to talk to him. I asked if he was ok and he reassured me that he felt better and that he promised he would not commit suicide. I made him promise me that he would come to the spot next Friday so I knew that he was ok. He promised. He allowed me to pray for him before we said our goodbyes. I watched him walk away from the spot with a heavy heart. Once we got back to the base and the leaders were debriefing with each other, I could not hold back my tears any longer. I broke. Having to wait a week to hear back from my friend is going to be agonizing, and there is no guarantee that he will even come Friday. Please, please, please keep our friend in your prayers. As well as Brett and myself, for this work is not easy. Thank you so much.
