I made it using Google Slides although it would be fun to draw a traditional family tree with these guys one day. Also the images will be updated with new info (although how much after is up in the air)
Notes under the cut
We do actually know to an extent how related to Faux the Faux Objects are. To quote the FAQ on the site: "Closely related characters often have long bodies, fly, and have curved claws. Far descendants are more likely to have a special hidden ability that can help them in a survival situation, though they may not be aware of it until it is too late." So, Body Pillow is on some level closely related to Faux. I THINK (do not quote me on this) during an LSD video (not sure which one) Chester mentioned Faux has been dead for a while to Faux is likely Body Pillow's great great grand relative. However, since we don't know the specifics Body Pillow will currently stay in "unknown relations"
I am only including confirmed public information. Any speculations (like my theory that Faux is Morrigan's sister based off of the fact that the mythological Morrigan is part of a sister trio) or Patreon confirmed relations are banned from this family tree
The reason pretty much none of these include two sets of (unknown) parents is because if we have zero info on a relative they weren't included. Although I should mention right here that out of the main cast Gum is the only one who spawned from a single parent
If you think you've seen this post before you have. I deleted the original since Tumblr messed with the ordering
Characters that are here but not tagged due to tag limits: Unnamed marine person (note the fins), Citrus' sister, Painkiller's parents, Gum's mom, Sharps' mom, Minty and Malt's mom, Fuzzball's mom and step dad, Sugarcube, Dynamite's parents, Dynamite, Push, Push's adopted nephew, Ribs, Porkloin, Wagyu, Peanut Butter/PB, PB's partner, PB's baby
With how it’s theorised ol’ Mushroom is gonna turn into a lawless king and that Three Spines is still growing, I wanna make a prediction that once Three metamorphoses into an adult that maybe Mushroom has to fight whatever TS turns into.
I am very confident in such a thing happening.
If that Bikini Bottom horror AU can have SpongeBob (the thing to fight the infection) fight Patrick (the ‘infection’) in some kaiju battle, then so can Objectified!
Also does anyone ever see the references to Godzilla media in Objectified?
Grilldorah -> Ghidorah, you know the giant (alien) dragon. Hmmm! I wonder what Grilldorah’s size and animal part is, oh! Giant and dragon!
And Dragonscale’s whole beam breath that vaporises Traffic Cone, RIP. Her breath goes from a breath of flame to a thin beam! Much like Shin Godzilla’s breath how its flame breath thins into a thin beam as well!
Quick theory about regarding these kind of eyes in Objectified
So, you know how certain characters have this "iris and pupil-less" look? Like the following:
Fish Tank, Jumper, Cherry, Billie, and Harry.
Now, Harry is important here because we likely know why he has this kind of eye: because of his father, Warhammer.
So I must ask: why does this have to only apply to Warhammer's descendants? After all, Grilldorah and Pluto (and the Lawless King of Marshlight Port if this theory is true) have these kind of eyes as well
So that's basically the theory: any character who has that "iris and pupil-less" eye is descended from a Lawless King. Lawless Kings passing down a special kind of eye is nothing new; if it can happen with Faux's descendants it can happen with the other kings.
