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bethany and esther's relationship is also incredibly fucking arduous for. very good reason LOL esther's so cold to her. absent father but she's your older sister. when carver died there was this moment where bethany tried to talk to esther about it, and esther. emotionally closed off and of the belief she has to be the Strong One. just said "carver's dead. he won't come back if we just cry hard enough." and walked away.

esther also wouldn't let bethany do ANYTHING for those first couple years in kirkwall. in the red iron, esther's biggest rule was bethany waits outside while esther goes in and handles the business. business in hightown? too many templars. bethany stays home. esther does everything alone, but bethany has to do everything with esther. there's a point in a fic i never finished where bethany's just shopping for food across the street, and she realizes esther's tailing her. like she wasn't even being subtle about it LOL.

buuut come the expedition, bethany starts taking on a more independent role and that's partly because everyone around them was actually treating her like a person and not "hawke's charge". varric's a big part of this, because he recognizes how smart she is and how esther's stifling her and deliberately nudges situations so bethany's more involved. so esther sees how capable she is and also that she needs bethany just as much as bethany needs her. and this actually works. bethany's the one that does almost all the talking when they're tracking anders because it turns out "nice and polite" is way better for information-gathering than esther's whole "threaten everything that moves" routine. and not only that, but bethany demonstrating that she's a mage too is what convinced the darktown refugees to trust her and tell them about the healer.

and it's because of bethany's contribution that they're even able to get the money for the expedition. and throughout this whole process, bethany and esther finally get a chance to be sisters. esther stops treating bethany like she's fragile or a child and lets her make her own choices and bethany stops being so desperate for approval that she lets esther make all her decisions for her. they're finally friends. esther's proud of her and bethany's proud of herself and it's soooo great, and you know what? mother's wrong, you SHOULD come with us! you've done just as much work for this expedition as we have! for ONCE esther gives bethany her own agency instead of just dictating what she can or can't do.

and then bethany gets blighted ❤️ and she's dying. and she looks just like father did on his deathbed. and esther's whole brain is going a thousand miles an hour because bethany's dying and it's her fault. she let bethany get involved, she encouraged her to jump headfirst into danger, she wasn't ready. and she's so desperate to fix this mistake that she takes anders' suggestion without even considering bethany's input. it was a mistake letting bethany go with her. she has to make this right. so once again bethany has no say over her own future, esther just decides to hand her off to the wardens without even a second of thought and bethany. can't say no. because how selfish would it be to choose death when there's a way to avoid hurting your family?

and it's in the wardens that all of this slowly begins to sink in for bethany. this wasn't what she wanted. esther was so eager to be rid of her that she sent her away to the first solution she could think of. she wasn't even important enough to actually fight for. and she allowed this for years, always telling herself never to add to the burden her family carried by having a mage in their house. and for years esther made her feel like she was a liability. like her existence was a constant problem that esther had to manage and solve. she spent so much of her life in constant petrified fear of the templars that she didn't even realize her own sister was just a templar without the armor. a cage with a loving warden is still a cage. and in the end it didn't even matter because she was taken from that gilded prison anyways, only now she was alone in a much darker one where her life must now be spent in the pursuit of killing and being killed. and she's ANGRY.

bethany only writes to esther once (☝️) just to tell her she survived and nothing more. and then there's that moment, in the middle of the qunari invasion, when esther and bethany reunite. and esther's so relieved to see her and she's talking a mile a minute because so much has happened since she left.

"i need to tell you about mother—"

"i know."

"...you don't care?"

"mother's dead. she won't come back if we just cry hard enough."

and then bethany just leaves her standing in the street and walks away without saying goodbye and esther is. stunned. and it hurts because she knows bethany's all she has left and she's so cold, she's never been this cold. she's the one that's supposed to be strong in the face of hardship, but bethany doesn't even look sad. she's changed. it's all her fault for letting her get hurt. she's failed her. just like carver and mother. she can't even be there for the last family she has left.

#esther hawke #oc meta #❤️

That sad moment when you wanna read more snippets about an OC but you're the author so the only way you get to read more is to write more

What did I do to deserve this?

#this is about Frederick lol #oc #ocs #writing meta #oc meta

Fun things to realize while writing Oyster is that she does NOT hesitate and takes advantage of ANY opening you give her, and that's why she is the Dark Horse in any ficlet I put her in.

Like ultimate Dark Horse, like who is going to expect this nobody slave to accidentally fuck up all your places just by being a good person? No one, that's who. Especially because of the good person part, because all these people EXPECT their enemies to be attempting to screw them over and even their own allies to be ultimate assholes.

Not by...being nice to someone. Being nice to kids specifically, in most of Oyster's situations.

But that actually really fits into One Piece overall, now that I think about it. How many times has the history of that entire world been changed because traumas done to a child and if anyone helped that child or not through that trauma?

Like said children still have their own choices to make and that doesn't excuse them from being assholes to other people when they grow up to be adults with more power. But SO many lives have been changed in One Piece because of just a single person's kindness.

Cora with Law, Hiriluk with Chopper, Zeff with Sanji...even more I can't even think of off the top of my head.

Under that light, I guess Oyster as a Kind to Kids person isn't really that much of a Dark Horse after all.

#oc oyster #character meta #oc meta #one piece #it's also kind of call back to the earlier stages of One Piece #where luffy sweeping in and rescuing everyone due to a single kindness was still very shocking #like it's still kind of shocking to the assholes of one piece in canon right now #but it's more EXPECTED more Hey you knew what you were getting into fucking with Strawhat now #i just KNOW that if you dropped oyster in germa while sanji was a kid #she would have 100% just taken all of judge's kids and left when she had the chance #because that's who she is as a person #and that fits for hilariously large amount of one piece situations

Having a lot of Sao'la feelings this morning. Thinking about her relationships and how they both speak to the idea of what it is we think we want vs what we actually want. I think that she does love Quinn, but questions if it's possible for him to love her. He's her father's Moff to her mother's Darth. This perfectly molded Imperial who knows exactly what his place is. And this is what she should want? Right? If her goal is to reclaim what has been taken, then it is to become this powerful Sith with what could be her equal on the Imperial side. It makes his betrayal, I think, cut even more deeply. Moff Caton would never.

One of the key components of Sao'la's character is that she fiercely values loyalty. Both receiving and giving it. One of the ways she wants her vengeance to cut is she doesn't just want to kill Baras. She wants to destroy him. She wants to take everything from him. So when he sends her after the people he wants dead, the people who are supposed to be his allies or work for him, she doesn't kill them. She takes them. They become hers. And she thinks she has Quinn. She knew when he came onto her ship that he was Baras' pawn, but she thinks she's converted him. That's what love is, right? It's loyalty.

Quinn's betrayal makes her question everything. And it's never the same. They reconcile, they marry, Sao'la withdraws from the galaxy. Partly because she never cared about galactic politics or wars and she's not about to start now. At first, it is fulfilling, to rebuild her family's name and reputation and wealth, but often she questions is this really what she wants to be doing? This wasn't how she grew up. This was how she was born, but this was not how she was raised.

And then something happens. (That I don't want to talk about because I want to save that emotional impact for when I do finally write about it.) And that pushes her to finally leave and do something else. Of course that something else is being on Marr's ship when it's attacked by Arcann.

Then come the events of the Five Year Gap and Theron finds her much the way her Watcher found her. Hiding. Alone. If she stays here, she will die. He doesn't save her necessarily, they save each other. Theron does not expect things from her. He doesn't really know her. Even after he figures out who she is, I don't think he really treats her any different. It's like knowing someone before they got famous--you remember the person they were when no one was watching. I think he sees her in a way that other people don't, and I think Quinn did see these things about her, but he put her on this pedestal. He treated her like this idol, something to be revered, and that makes her uncomfortable. Theron treats her like an equal.

Perhaps freudian, but it very much mirrors the relationships she had with her father figures. The Moff was this ideal, her mother's husband and partner in power, together they were this towering presence. And then there's the Watcher. The man who raised her, who let her run free and grow. When she needed help, he found it, provided it. When she ran away, he let her because she needed to find what she wanted on her own. But he was there when she needed help, because he was her dad and he loved her.

#sao'la #oc meta #swtor #sith warrior #i have so much i want to say about the watcher and the mouse #sao'la literally infects my brain #she is so loud

drawing kid morag was such a retreading of old ground bc i have a whole character set that forks off from me doing a 'haha what if kid!Lokkie' (lokkie being the original version of morag)

stashing this under the cut bc nyeh old shit (most of this is like, 2013-15? damn im old). but im feelin Rambly hehe

#tide.exe #morag locke #aibell kittelsen #i've had Plans for Kit in TWC for about as long as i've been writing Morag in the setting lmao #she's part of the Final Sequence for Morag's fics...#oc meta #anyway. this was written for me and my enjoyment huehue.#its good to go back and revisit things bc there was some sucky stuff in my life back then but.#i love the characters ive dragged thru that hell #i had no idea when i made this fucked up feral cavetroll how deeply fucking important she'd become to me as a character

Prince of Lys, Wyrm of Lys, Bastard Prince of Lys—

Daemion was born alongside his younger twin sister Shiera — the exact date is unknown as different records say conflicting things, but they were born between the years 147 and 148 AC — to King Aegon IV Targaryen and Serenei of Lys, the King’s last mistress of noble blood. Serenei regained consciousness after the birth just long enough to name her children before dying, their names meaning Blood of the Rhine and Star of the Sea in the Lysne variant of High Valryian respectively. Perhaps because of their Lyseni heritage, perhaps because Sherenei was the last descendant of a noble but impoverished Valyrian house, perhaps because everyone tending to them merely forgot, the twins were never given the tradition bastard name of Waters, as was befitting of Crownlander basterds, but instead chose their own surnames as they grew.

One might expect the King to turn the two out as he had turned out the children of Melissa Blackwood, but the twins had nowhere to go and no one to go with if they had, so Daemion and Shiera was raised in the Red Keep alongside the royal family – although their father had no regard for them and Queen Naerys, while kind, held them at an arm’s length, fearing the potential threat Daemion could pose to her son Prince Daeron (not an entirely unfounded fear considering what Daemon would later do). Aemon the Dragonknight taught Daemion how to use a sword. The Prince and Princess were kind, and shared their lessons with the twins when they could, the four of them bonding over shared interests such as poetry and tales of far away places and the magics of the peoples there (and if Daemion and Shiera listened harder, and shared a look, and squeezed each other’s hands under the table, no one noticed).

But it was not Daeron or Daenerys or Naerys or any servant that doted on the twins the most, that taught them how to play the great game, and taught them many other, many less savory things on the twins’ own urging, bringing them gifts of sweets and jewels, and taking them for walks around the gardens, and showing them the best place to make the cut so life spilled the most freely from the veins. It was not Daeron or Daenerys or Naerys.

It was Visenya, the Blood Witch.

The Bloodletter, Salt Tongue,The Butcher–

Whether it was true or not (it was) didn’t matter, Daemion Rhineheart was a witch. And so was his sister. A core of rot, around which grew a glittering, shiny exterior. A pearl, a poisoner, a blood magiker. All this and more was whispered on the wind, from the mouths to the ears of the court, trailing after them no matter where they went. They were witches, dangerous and evil.

And irresistible.

Maiden’s Bane, The Maiden Braker, Heartswallower—

Daemion and his sister were fond of standing side to side, holding hands, so as to appear a matching set, disjointed apart, but whole together.

Inhumanly beautiful, rumored to be the most beautiful man in the world, Deamion was his sister’s mirror image. He had a heart shaped face, yards of curling silver-white hair, and skin that was impossibly soft and supple, the color of porcelain; scarless despite the hundreds of battles he’d been in, except for his shoulder, where Bloodraven had put an ashwood arrow through him in one of their many fights for Shiera’s heart (Brynden might go to his knees again and again, begging for Shiera’s hand, but Daemion would not demean himself so, would not fight a losing battle, would not delude himself into thinking this time she might say yes), leaving a silvery, vaguely star-shaped mark on both sides, although the angle was different, and his cheekbone, high and sloping, where Aemon the Dragonknight had accidently left a slice angling towards his eye from when he’d trained Daemion as a child, fading with time and age from a bright, vicious red to a papery white. Even Daemion’s eyes were mirrored, blue and green, yes, but switched in direction to Shiera’s.

Considering most colors to be garish, he wore only whites, blacks, grays, and all manner of blues and greens, only occasionally indulging in browns, and one specific shade of blush pink (not at the same time, obviously). He was fond of sapphires, but mostly wore emeralds, and never wore gold, considering it gaudy. Even his armor was silver and enset with pearls, earning him the moniker the Silver Fury for the ferocity in which he made battle.

But Daemion was not just Shiera’s mirror image in appearance and tastes in fashion, but also in attributes. He never married, and took thousands of lovers over his lifetime, although only Shiera was actually loved by Deamion, and the only one that could be considered a paramoure.

Ballads and songs were written about him, women hurled themselves into the sea when they lost him favor, he fought hundreds of duels for besmirching a sister or a daughter’s honor, and won them all, his opponents always ending up on the ground in front of him, speared through the heart by his sword The Drowning Quiet. He would be seen with Lady Merryweather on his arm one day, the next be spotted with a Targeryan cousin on Dragonstone, the day after that a pair of twins from Asshai. His tastes ran to both sexes, and all countries and classes, but he never laid with sex workers. After all, it wasn’t any fun if he couldn’t break their hearts.

But matters of the heart and the bedchamber wasn’t the only lust Daemion Rhinehaert was legendary for satisfying.

Silver Knight, The Knight of Pearls, The Knight without Banners–

Whispers behind closed doors and opened fans, then he went to war — indifferent to who sat the throne itself, but loyal enough to the Targaryens — and they no longer had to whisper.

They called him the Butcher.

His enemies didn’t call him anything at all. They didn’t have time.

Once, he’d cut a man’s horse down. The soldier was thrown, breaking his legs, and losing his sword into the churned muck of the battlefield, a single shining blade buried amongst mud and corpses. He’d prayed when Daemion lifted The Drowning Quiet to remove him of his head. Who are you praying to, he’d asked, blade resting on the boy’s – and he was a boy, barely past sixteen – shoulder in the way Daemion imagined a father might have had rested his hand there, in the way this boy’s father might have had done, had either of lived through the battle, had he been proud of his progeny. The Gods, the boy answered. Daemion laughed and hefted his sword. You should have prayed to me. If I will you–

He never needed to use two strokes.

And if corpses were mutilated, if he came back from the front looking as young as ever, if he advanced through the ranks too quickly? Well, they were all too grateful to question too much, to investigate too deeply. And besides, it wasn’t anything that he hadn't been known for before.

Daemion had morals, he never killed or hurt or even tried to frighten women and children, or cripples, or men and women of the Faith, but he was good at killing, and he enjoyed doing what he was good at. He was beautiful and brutal, kind and cruel, an art-maker and a heartbreaker.

Daemion was a tangled knot of contradictions. But above all else, no matter who you spoke to, there was one undoubtedly true facet of his soul: he was Shiera’s.

Dragon of the Rhine, Dragon of the Sea, Sea Serpent, The Sea–

#oc meta #oc: daemion rhineheart #oc: visenya targaryen #friends ocs #my ocs #collaborative ocs #asoiaf #got #meta post #might be some minor spelling mistakes but I don’t care

Hey everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to talk about something several readers have noticed and commented upon: the distance between Isaiah and Matthew.

I have seen people hoping for some kind of big talk or reconciliation or confrontation. You guys are so in tune with the story and care about Matt so much and it's honestly an amazing thing to watch. I'm so touched. 🥺

But to be honest—I don't see it coming. Not because Matt is unimportant. Not because Isaiah has stopped loving him. However, Matt and Isaiah have reached a point in their lives where they are no longer a good fit for each other.

I love them as characters in their own right, but alas, they are fundamentally different. Isaiah needs darkness, pressure and change. He needs to be needed and to be challenged, or he will never grow out of the cycles he is currently stuck in.

Matthew is stability, steadiness, acceptance and loyalty. He is kind and empathetic and understanding. He puts people first and doesn't let his ego get in the way. He doesn't demand, doesn't feel entitled, doesn't feel wronged. This doesn't make him weak or less significant. It's a beautiful kind of love. He will accept and support Isaiah wholeheartedly as he is.

But Isaiah isn't really at a healthy place, is he?

So if you guys expected a big talk or change or a fix, I'm sorry to say that I don't see it happening. Matthew can't tell Isaiah what he needs to hear. That's not who he is as a person. And Isaiah won't let Matthew help him the way he needs.

From Isaiah’s point of view, this isn’t abandonment or demotion—it’s protection. Isaiah is releasing him from his presence. Isaiah doesn’t want to pull Matt into the darkness just to see if Matt’s light can survive. He wants Matt to stay in the light, to walk his own path, find his own purpose. And tbh, I kinda agree with him. Isaiah needs someone who knows the dark and understands it, who walks into it willingly, not just for him. Who chooses to be in the darkness with their own agenda, someone familiar with it, even thriving in it.

Matt would do it, of course—out of love. And that's incredible, selfless and beautiful. But it's not sustainable.

Maybe that says something about me, too. I don’t think people should be each other’s purpose. I think we all need our own direction, even when we love each other deeply.

Matt is a safe place. He has strengths that are often overlooked and I love that so many readers here are resonating with him. His unconditional loyalty. His steadiness. His lack of ego. But all this also makes him less confrontational, less forceful, less disruptive. Isaiah doesn’t need safety right now. He’s not in a place where being accepted helps him grow—he’s in a place where he needs to be provoked, unsettled, pulled apart and rebuilt. I can see this happening with several other characters, but not with Matt.

That doesn’t make Matt weak. It just makes him unsuited for this phase of Isaiah’s arc. And that’s okay. That’s not a loss—it’s change.

Matt will grow in other ways, with other people. He will shine in his own right, not just as somebody's second. And Isaiah’s path will take him deeper into other bonds that still have fire and friction and change.

Thanks for caring so deeply. That means more than I can say. I just feel like I have to follow the story where it naturally wants to go—even when it’s shifting into new directions.

#thoughts #oc meta #I know this shift might feel disappointing or unexpected #and I don’t take that lightly #but I'm trying to be honest to the characters and honest with you #this is a super difficult balance and I have been pondering this for months XD #but Isaiah’s story is shifting into places where Matt’s presence no longer moves him forward #no matter what I try lol #Matthew

Hullo!! Can I ask what Lady Cosima and any other of your OC's drink and food orders would be?? :D <3

hi again!!! and yes ofc!!! :D

Answers will be under the cut, like usual!! But I'll also include this image just to provide some visual ref for what my ocs look like (if anyone is unfamiliar) :D

#hehe ty for the ask!!!#giving all of my ocs a little kiss on the forehead. they r so special 2 me i love getting to yap abt them DFGHJ #the askerrr #kara oc #oc cosima #oc cain #oc solaire #oc dante #oc versailles #oc belmonte #oc epsa #oc meta #kara rambles