bethany and esther's relationship is also incredibly fucking arduous for. very good reason LOL esther's so cold to her. absent father but she's your older sister. when carver died there was this moment where bethany tried to talk to esther about it, and esther. emotionally closed off and of the belief she has to be the Strong One. just said "carver's dead. he won't come back if we just cry hard enough." and walked away.
esther also wouldn't let bethany do ANYTHING for those first couple years in kirkwall. in the red iron, esther's biggest rule was bethany waits outside while esther goes in and handles the business. business in hightown? too many templars. bethany stays home. esther does everything alone, but bethany has to do everything with esther. there's a point in a fic i never finished where bethany's just shopping for food across the street, and she realizes esther's tailing her. like she wasn't even being subtle about it LOL.
buuut come the expedition, bethany starts taking on a more independent role and that's partly because everyone around them was actually treating her like a person and not "hawke's charge". varric's a big part of this, because he recognizes how smart she is and how esther's stifling her and deliberately nudges situations so bethany's more involved. so esther sees how capable she is and also that she needs bethany just as much as bethany needs her. and this actually works. bethany's the one that does almost all the talking when they're tracking anders because it turns out "nice and polite" is way better for information-gathering than esther's whole "threaten everything that moves" routine. and not only that, but bethany demonstrating that she's a mage too is what convinced the darktown refugees to trust her and tell them about the healer.
and it's because of bethany's contribution that they're even able to get the money for the expedition. and throughout this whole process, bethany and esther finally get a chance to be sisters. esther stops treating bethany like she's fragile or a child and lets her make her own choices and bethany stops being so desperate for approval that she lets esther make all her decisions for her. they're finally friends. esther's proud of her and bethany's proud of herself and it's soooo great, and you know what? mother's wrong, you SHOULD come with us! you've done just as much work for this expedition as we have! for ONCE esther gives bethany her own agency instead of just dictating what she can or can't do.
and then bethany gets blighted ❤️ and she's dying. and she looks just like father did on his deathbed. and esther's whole brain is going a thousand miles an hour because bethany's dying and it's her fault. she let bethany get involved, she encouraged her to jump headfirst into danger, she wasn't ready. and she's so desperate to fix this mistake that she takes anders' suggestion without even considering bethany's input. it was a mistake letting bethany go with her. she has to make this right. so once again bethany has no say over her own future, esther just decides to hand her off to the wardens without even a second of thought and bethany. can't say no. because how selfish would it be to choose death when there's a way to avoid hurting your family?
and it's in the wardens that all of this slowly begins to sink in for bethany. this wasn't what she wanted. esther was so eager to be rid of her that she sent her away to the first solution she could think of. she wasn't even important enough to actually fight for. and she allowed this for years, always telling herself never to add to the burden her family carried by having a mage in their house. and for years esther made her feel like she was a liability. like her existence was a constant problem that esther had to manage and solve. she spent so much of her life in constant petrified fear of the templars that she didn't even realize her own sister was just a templar without the armor. a cage with a loving warden is still a cage. and in the end it didn't even matter because she was taken from that gilded prison anyways, only now she was alone in a much darker one where her life must now be spent in the pursuit of killing and being killed. and she's ANGRY.
bethany only writes to esther once (☝️) just to tell her she survived and nothing more. and then there's that moment, in the middle of the qunari invasion, when esther and bethany reunite. and esther's so relieved to see her and she's talking a mile a minute because so much has happened since she left.
"i need to tell you about mother—"
"i know."
"...you don't care?"
"mother's dead. she won't come back if we just cry hard enough."
and then bethany just leaves her standing in the street and walks away without saying goodbye and esther is. stunned. and it hurts because she knows bethany's all she has left and she's so cold, she's never been this cold. she's the one that's supposed to be strong in the face of hardship, but bethany doesn't even look sad. she's changed. it's all her fault for letting her get hurt. she's failed her. just like carver and mother. she can't even be there for the last family she has left.














