It’s been a long time coming and here we finally are. This fic and I have been through a lot together but I am so glad to be able to share it. This process and the fic outcome is something that I will hold near and dear to my heart. It’s a gift to far too many people for me to mention, but I believe they’d all know who they are. Thank you to everyone who was supportive of it from the very beginning, you all know who you are and I am forever grateful for you. A special thank you to @terramous - Max contributed some amazing words to this fic in which I will be more specific of in the notes of AO3 (In safety of not giving away anything.) But without the addition that he offered, the rest of the fic may had never seen the light of day. Also to @officerrxyes - Jamie only read an unfinished copy but she was able to offer some incredible feedback and editing suggestions. You were so important to the process. 💛
Summary: TK and Carlos were childhood best friends. They spent their entire lives beside one another, completely inseparable. TK is in love with Carlos and Carlos with TK. But neither one knew the other’s true feelings. After graduation, TK follows his dreams to New York City, leaving Carlos behind in Austin.
Now, three years later, TK returns to Austin to visit his father for the holidays. Upon his return, TK reconciles with Carlos, now in a relationship and those feelings that both men have pushed down for so long may in fact resurface.
***
Falling in love with his best friend was not something that TK had planned for. It had been a long and wild process that had taken a while to become apparent to him. It had begun like a gentle and steady rain that had eventually grown into a hurricane within him.
It was long before TK had discovered his true self when he had met Carlos Reyes. It had been at the age of eight on a sunny Saturday afternoon on the swing sets at the park. The two had become fast friends and eventually, the boys had become an inseparable pair that were attached at the hip. As the two grew up together, side by side, it became clear that that’s where TK’s life was taking him. When they had entered high school, TK had become overwhelmed by the feelings he held for Carlos. TK was always searching the universe for messages, waiting for it to let him know it was okay to take that jump. But it never did and by the time they turned eighteen, the way TK had felt towards Carlos had reached a boiling point.
It was then that life proved that good things could never last as the two found themselves to be ripped apart suddenly by graduation and everything that came after.
In the summer following them receiving their diplomas, TK had found himself accepted to NYU, a dream of his since he was a kid. Not long after, Carlos was offered a full soccer scholarship to UT Austin, fulfilling his own dreams. It was only then that it was made clear that they would have to move on, and they would have to do it without each other. It was a sudden, almost life shattering realisation that the two had to deal with and they were forced to accept it. So TK packed himself up, drove to the airport and flew away from Austin and more importantly; the way he had felt for Carlos.
happy holidays, sy! i'm wishing you a wonderful and prosperous new year. i hope this fic helps to usher in 2021 right!
word count: 5.2k || read on ao3
All through the night
I'll be awake and I'll be with you
All through the night
This precious time when time is new
When Carlos envisioned winter in New York, his elaborate fantasies had somehow managed to eclipse the reality of what it might actually entail. He had enjoyed his brief stay, taking in the window displays along Fifth Avenue. It had long since been something he wanted to see for himself and the storefronts had more than delivered. But on the flipside of such a picturesque scene has come the downside of what heavy amounts of snow could mean.
It’s why he finds himself now planted in a too hard seat at JFK Airport, wondering how he’ll possibly fill his time now that his flight has been delayed until morning. Outside the blizzard rages on with no real end in sight and Carlos mulls over the merits of his decision to leave Texas in the New Year and make this city his home. This is a far cry from Austin. He’d once thought winter temperatures there could be bad but it’s been nothing compared to the arctic blast in the North.
He tries to keep busy with a book but his attention is split between the words before him and the cute guy across from him frantically digging inside his backpack, a phone teetering dangerously on his knee.
“God, where is that stupid thing,” the man mumbles to himself. “Come on charger, where are you?”
Carlos looks away, burying his head in his book to hide the smile that breaks out on his face. The guy is obviously peeved but Carlos can’t help but to find his muttering endearing. After another moment of fruitless searching on the stranger’s end, Carlos takes mercy on him.
“Here, you can borrow mine,” he says, unzipping his own backpack and fishing out his charger.
The man sighs in relief. “Thank you. I really appreciate it,” he replies, reaching over and taking the cord from Carlos.
He settles back and plugs it into the wall, the screen lighting up a moment later. Carlos smiles politely and gets back to reading, only to be interrupted.
“So, I take it you’re heading down to visit family before the new year comes, huh?” the stranger says.
Carlos looks up from his book, head tilting slightly. It hadn’t been expecting the man to strike up a conversation.
“Sorry, awkward small talk. I’ll let you get back to it,” he says, face scrunching as he gestures to the book in Carlos’ hands.
Carlos waves him off, bookmarking his page and closing it.
“No worries. We’re here all night so...plenty of time for that.” He licks his lips and drums his fingers against the front. “To answer your question though, no. Austin is actually my home so I’m just heading back.”
“Oh, cool. I’m going to see my dad. I thought he’d want to do the whole white Christmas, New York for the New Year thing but ever since he moved down to Austin last year, I think he’s gotten spoiled by the warmer weather.”
The man looks out of the window where the snow is swirling so heavily it’s hard to even see the sky or planes sitting idly on the tarmac.
“Guess I can’t exactly blame him.”
Carlos laughs. “It’s disgustingly cold here and all of that,” he says, gesturing to the storm, “doesn’t help. I don’t know how you guys manage.”
“You get used to it. I’ve only ever grown up with it so while I like to complain about the snow at times, I can’t picture this time of year without it. It’s been a few years since it’s been this bad though, I’ll admit.”
Carlos smiles a bit, looking out of the window briefly. “This is actually my first time experiencing snow. And the city was gracious enough to give me a blizzard to commemorate.”
The man smiles at this thoughtfully. He sits up, stretching his hand out across the aisle towards Carlos.
“I’m TK, by the way.”
Carlos touches his fingertips to his forehead before shaking TK’s hand.
“God, my mother would be so ashamed of my manners right now,” he laughs. “I’m Carlos. It’s nice to meet you.”
He lets go, his palm feeling extremely warm from TK’s touch. TK smiles at him, a slow grin that ultimately reveals his teeth. This man is very good looking, there’s no denying that. He’s got an easy way about him that makes Carlos feel comfortable in his presence as if they’re old friends catching up and not perfectly good strangers meeting for the first time.
TK’s phone buzzes, stealing his attention and Carlos is all too grateful for it. TK types something on the device for a few seconds before pausing.
“Sorry, excuse me for a second,” he says, putting his phone to his ear.
Carlos nods and gestures for him to go for it.
“Hey, Dad. I—,” TK starts out but stops short as his father speaks. “I bet it’s all over the news but I’m alright. Not looking forward to being stuck here overnight but,” he continues, his eyes landing on Carlos and away so quickly Carlos is sure he’s imagined it. “I guess there are worse ways to be trapped for a few hours.”
Carlos looks away then, cracking open his book again to keep himself occupied while TK chats with his father. He tries not to dwell heavily on TK’s look or what the implications of that glance could mean. It could’ve been a coincidence and nothing more. All the same, it doesn’t make his heart race any less to think that TK feels a spark too.
TK ends the call with a sigh, stretching out his legs before bouncing one of them. The gesture is distracting but endearing. For the second time, Carlos closes his book, this time putting it back into his bag for good as TK speaks to him again.
“Are you hungry? I could go for a bite.”
“I could eat,” Carlos says. He rises from his seat as TK does, both men dragging their carry-ons along with them.
They follow the winding path down from their gate, Carlos taking notice of all the fellow flyers now forced to wait out the storm. Some have taken to stretching out on the ground, laying on top of jackets like makeshift sleeping bags, others keeping busy with phones and tablets, hunched over in chairs.
Carlos isn’t looking forward to the uncomfortable sleep he’ll have tonight but as he looks over at TK, he wonders just how much rest he’ll actually manage to get. The guy is already proving himself to be a good way to pass the time and Carlos can’t say he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to keep chatting with him.
As they approach the cluster of food stands, TK groans and it’s easy to see why. Many of the shops are already closed, no doubt the employees hurrying home before the worst of the storm kicked in. All that’s available now is Cinnabon but Carlos supposes that can suffice as dinner.
TK orders a hot chocolate and a classic roll while Carlos opts for a cold brew in addition to a roll as well. TK eyes the drink with raised brows.
“I’m fully committing to the cause of being awake until we board, apparently,” Carlos muses, pushing his straw through the lid and taking a sip. “Worth it.”
The two head to a nearby empty table, settling into their elevated seats before unloading their food. The scent coming off the baked goods is incredible and Carlos’ stomach suddenly feels desperate for a bite.
“So, Carlos, since we’ve nominated each other for the buddy system while we wait this storm out,” he jokes, “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”
Carlos drums his fingers on the tabletop as he tries to decide what to share.
“Well, you already know that Austin is where I’m from but the whole reason I’m even here now is because I’m going to be moving to New York soon. I’ll be transferring next month.”
TK’s brows raise. “Seriously? That’s awesome. Do you mind if I ask what you do?”
“I’m a police officer. I’ve been with the Austin Police Department for a few years but I’ve been considering leaving Texas for a little while now and I’ve been exploring my options. For some reason my mind kept coming back to the idea of New York and I figured I should just take the chance and see what happens.”
TK laughs and shakes his head. “Oh man, well, we have something in common, more or less. I’m with the NYFD myself.”
Carlos holds up a hand. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re a firefighter?” he laughs.
TK puffs out his chest jokingly and nods with a grin on his face. “That’s right. Ladder 252.”
Carlos does his best to push the image of TK in uniform from mind but the picture is an appealing one. He can see it so clearly, the way he’d look in suspenders, not to mention full gear. It’s almost unfair just how much hotter the man becomes as if Carlos hasn’t spent this whole time finding him attractive. He picks up his drink again for something to do with his hands, swirling the straw inside of the cup.
“Small world. Outside of my own little bubble, I can’t say I casually meet many people who are first responders. We seem to be a pretty special breed to get into this line of work.”
TK laughs. “I fell into this because of my dad. He’s been a firefighter for years. He, uh, actually was on site during 9/11. I always thought he was incredible but knowing the full scope of what he and so many others did that day and for people in times of crisis, big and small in general, it just made me want to be like him.”
Carlos frowns, unsure of what to even say or think. “Your dad’s a hero.”
“I like to think so.” TK draws in a breath, squaring his shoulders. “Anyway, now he’s kicking ass down in Texas so, even though I miss him as my captain, I know he’s doing great work with his crew down there.”
Curiosity gets the better of Carlos as he asks, “What station is he with?”
“The 126,” TK replies, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.
Carlos’ eyes widen. “Captain Owen Strand is your father?”
It makes sense the longer he looks at TK. Captain Strand is an attractive older guy and TK clearly got handed some solid genes. Still, it throws him for a loop to realize they have a legitimate connection to each other.
TK tilts his head to the side. “You know him? Shit, okay, wow, small world just got a whole hell of a lot smaller.”
“Unbelievable,” Carlos laughs in disbelief. “I don’t know him that well but we work together sometimes on calls. He’s amazing in the field and he’s really turned that station around.”
TK practically beams. “Guess this means we’ll be seeing each other again soon once we finally make it to Austin then.”
“Uh, yeah. I guess so. Assuming you don’t get sick of me before this night is through, that is.”
TK holds Carlos’ gaze for a moment and if it were anyone else, it would be unnerving but something in TK’s stare just sends a thrill through Carlos, excites him in a way no stranger has ever really gotten under his skin.
“I don’t see that happening,” he says plainly, as if this is an irrefutable fact and not something that’s truly subject to change.
Carlos doesn’t argue the point. He merely enjoys the next few hours, seeing just how easily TK’s theory pans out.
~*~*~
The contrast in weather between New York and Austin is one of the first things Carlos’ remarks on as he steps outside of Austin-Bergstrom. He’s never been more grateful for a forty degree afternoon. He’s kept Michelle updated about his new set time and he waits patiently outside of arrivals. Beside him now, TK types out a message on his phone before smiling over at him.
Carlos has had hours to get used to that look on TK’s face and yet he’s still brought up short. Last night and the early morning hours were spent talking to TK about everything imaginable, trading stories about crazy calls they’ve been on and even touching on personal things like their families. When they grew tired of talking, they watched movies on TK’s laptop, fighting off the urge to sleep for the mere sake of hanging out.
It isn’t rare for Carlos to become friendly with a person but this connection to TK feels different in a way he can’t quite parse.
By the time their flight boarded, Carlos knocked out for the entire length of the trip but it had been worth it in his eyes to stay up and take advantage of the uninterrupted time that stretched before him with TK. It was safe to say a bit of a crush had formed, as absurd as Carlos felt for it. TK was going to be in town for the next few days and that prospect was both thrilling and terrifying. If he could feel this close to TK in one night, there’s no telling what could happen in a few days.
Before he can get lost in that thought, Carlos sees Michelle as she pulls up to the curb, the trunk popping open.
“Are you good out here?”
“My dad’s coming in just a minute. I’ll be just fine,” TK muses as Carlos puts his carry-on inside and slams the trunk shut.
“Alright, well. You have my number now so text me whenever you’re free. I’ll show you a few places while you’re here.”
Carlos extends his hand but TK rolls his eyes jokingly and pulls him into a half hug instead.
“We’ve spent the night together, Carlos. I think we’re past handshakes now.”
Carlos’ face burns with TK’s wording but the man merely laughs.
“See you soon?”
Carlos just nods and finds the wherewithal to get inside of Michelle’s car. He waves after he buckles himself in, TK lifting a hand in response.
“Okay, who is that?” Michelle asks immediately, head turned to take in the sight of TK.
Carlos tips his head back against the seat. “You won’t believe the night I’ve had.”
~*~*~
Carlos has spent two days showing TK some of his favorite stomping grounds. TK relished in all that Austin had to offer and Carlos has been happy to see that their closeness from the unexpected overnight at the airport hadn’t been a fluke. If anything, these outings have only made Carlos feel closer to TK.
Michelle has been relentless in her teasing, finding it all too amusing that Carlos managed to cross paths with Captain Strand’s son of all people. She’d clung to his every word during the ride home from the airport as he filled her in on how he waited out the storm.
The 126 meets at their usual bar and Carlos is glad for this post-work gathering. It’s the perfect time to show TK what a real honky-tonk is like, further immersing him in the culture of the state his father now resides.
TK sits next to him at the table, the large group so packed in that his leg presses against Carlos’. It’s light but it’s enough to make the point of contact all Carlos can focus on even as everyone else at the table engages in conversations that overlap, laughing amongst themselves. He does his best to ignore it but it’s difficult not to take notice of each shift TK makes. Michelle keeps looking at him and Carlos, to the best of his abilities, avoids her gaze knowing that it’ll make it just that much more difficult to act as if he isn’t freaking out internally.
“I’m gonna get another. You want anything?” Carlos asks TK.
TK shakes his head. “No, I’m alright but thank you though.”
Carlos nods once and gets up, finding it much easier to breathe already now that he’s no longer sitting beside TK. Michelle catches his eye as he leaves from the table and he can hear her shoes as she follows behind him to the bar. She rests against the counter facing the room at large as Carlos gets the attention of the bartender and asks for another beer.
“You sure know how to pick them,” Michelle laughs at his side.
“Chelle,” he groans, shaking his head.
She merely laughs again, bumping her hip against his. “When did your life become a romantic comedy?”
“I must’ve missed the memo myself because this sure snuck up on me.”
The bartender sets a bottle down in front of him but Carlos doesn’t move. This little reprieve away from everyone but Michelle right now is welcome.
“I like him. He’s nice. Really cute too.”
“Oh, so you’ve noticed?” he deadpans, looking over his shoulder at TK.
He looks so at home here, hanging out and laughing with these people he’s, up until now, only known secondhand from his father’s work stories. TK is personable as ever, Carlos knows all too well. Had he not been swept away after one night in the man’s company?
“I think this is so great.”
“Funny, I think it’s the universe trying to mess with me.”
Michelle scoffs, finally turning to face the bar like him. “There are worse things in the world than a seemingly perfect guy practically falling into your lap. We should all be so lucky.”
Carlos casts the mental image aside, taking a sip of his drink. “The timing though. I can’t think about guys right now. I need to be figuring out my next set of moves for New York.”
“If those plans just so happen to include an attractive new friend…,” she trails off with a grin.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to screw this up because yeah, he is a new friend and we get along well, it’s a good feeling.”
“Do you like him?”
Carlos falters. “I barely even know the guy.”
“That’s not even remotely close to what I asked you.”
Carlos scratches at his forehead before letting out a sigh. “I do. Which hardly makes any sense at all. It’s only been a few days and yet I can’t stop thinking about him. That’s strange, isn’t it?”
Michelle shakes her head. “No, actually. I don’t think so. You guys had such a cute introduction to each other and you clearly hit it off. Some people just click and are meant to meet. The fact that you two had a connection to each other beforehand without even knowing it? I think there’s something to be said for that.”
“What, you think it’s fate or something?”
Michelle shrugs. “I wouldn’t rule it out. Your flight could have been a day earlier or even a few hours before his. On a plane filled with hundreds, you connected with him, Captain Strand’s son who just so happens to live in the city you’re about to move to. I think it’s worth seeing just how far it could go. If you ask me, you’ll wind up with a boyfriend in no time.”
Carlos mulls it over for a moment. He can admit he is in fact curious. It’s been a while since he’s felt this drawn to someone and with TK, it’s been as natural as breathing since they first met. The timing is less than ideal but it’s been so long since Carlos has felt this urge to get close to someone, since he’s felt safe enough to even open his mind and heart up to the possibility.
“Maybe you’re onto something.”
“One of these days you’ll learn to just accept my brilliance, no questions asked. But this will do for now.”
Carlos rolls his eyes but drapes an arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his side and kissing her temple.
“I’m going moments like this with you,” he says.
Michelle sighs and pats his back. “I will too but we still have time on the clock, right? Let’s not think about that now.”
Carlos sighs, knowing she’s right. It just feels as if these moments are slipping through his fingers, the new year and all its changes lurking just around the corner.
~*~*~
As customary, the Ryder house is the staple for parties among the team and New Year’s Eve is no different. Carlos has lost track of how many times he’s sat on their couch or been treated for Grace’s incredible home-cooking. It’s always been a source of comfort for him, being surrounded by these colleagues who have become an extended family to him.
This time next year, he’ll be in another time zone, familiarized with a new group of people. Carlos knows he’s jumping the gun. There’s no doubt in his mind that he’ll be able to visit back home and that this collection of people will still love him as they do now.
Carlos looks around the living room, taking stock: Marjan blowing into a noise maker in Mateo’s face and bursting into laughter, Paul shaking his head and dropping his face into his palm. Over by the kitchen he sees Grace and Judd swaying to the music playing as Captain Strand takes Michelle’s hand and begins dancing alongside the other couple. It warms Carlos’ heart and breaks it too, seeing this all for what will be the last time with this city being home.
Suddenly the room feels too small and he finds himself heading for the door, grabbing his jacket off of the coat rack. It’s cold out but Carlos remembers just how bitter the weather in New York was. This is nothing compared to that. And it’s this thought that twists at his heart a bit more, one more reminder of how much his life is set to change sooner than he thinks he’s ready for.
The new year is biting at his heels and time is just slipping by. Logically he knows that he shouldn’t be outside now, that he would be wise to savor these memories with his Austin crew while they’re here rather than lament later. But it all feels like too much and the last thing he wants is to let his pensive mood be a dark cloud over a celebratory and joyous time.
Carlos keeps walking until he reaches the park nearby the Ryder household. Naturally it’s abandoned as everyone is tucked away inside their homes either enjoying a quiet night in or throwing parties like the Ryders. Carlos draws in a breath and takes a seat on one of the swings, his fingers clutching on to the links. He quickly stands up the second he hears footsteps approaching, a figure walking towards him.
“It’s just me,” comes TK’s voice and sure enough the man’s features come into focus the closer he gets until he’s settling into the swing beside Carlos.
“I saw you take off. I just wanted to check that you were okay.”
Carlos smiles a bit. “I appreciate it. I’m okay. I’m just...thinking about a lot right now.”
TK sways on his swing, letting a comfortable silence fall between them before he speaks.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Carlos’ heart and thoughts feel so heavy now, such a contrast to how lighthearted and hopeful this holiday is meant to be. But TK looks at him with such genuine care that he finds himself almost desperate to unburden himself a bit.
“Sometimes I wish I could just stop time, you know? But hell, it’s New Year’s Eve. What more proof do I need that life is always moving forward?”
Carlos sighs and rocks slightly back and forth.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a downer. You should head on back inside, have fun with the others.”
TK is silent beside him, long enough for Carlos to pull his gaze toward the other man. TK is eyeing him thoughtfully.
“You’re scared about what comes next. That’s totally normal. Moving away, starting a new life somewhere else, it’s a big step. A huge change.”
Carlos frowns as he nods. “I wish I could see the end, you know? I wish I could see if it’s all worth it, that I’m making the right choice.”
TK hums in thought. “Well, the best way out is through, right?”
“So you don’t think it’s a mistake to move out to New York?”
TK shrugs. “I don’t know you well enough to say one way or the other for sure. But no, I don’t think it is. I think the fact that you’re even considering it at all should tell you something about how you feel about where you are now.”
Carlos grows quiet, considering the man’s words. But TK isn’t done dishing out his opinion.
“You’ve got an amazing team here, there’s no denying that. It’s a real family, not to mention your actual family is here too. But—and mind you I’m super biased here— New York is an amazing place to be, to live. If you’re feeling restless in Austin, I think New York is the perfect alternative.”
Carlos laughs at this. “So, so biased,” he muses.
TK jokingly puffs up his chest. “Hey, it’s not my fault people have written songs about it and flock to it from all corners of the world,” he jokes. “And all of them, like you would, find home.”
A soft sigh escapes Carlos’ lips as he grips the chain link of the swing.
“That does actually sound pretty nice. I’d miss everyone here like crazy but maybe it’s time for something new? I don’t know. I keep waiting for something extraordinary to happen but nothing ever really changes around here. And there’s nothing wrong with that, of course. I just—“
“You’ve outgrown it,” TK says simply. “And there’s nothing wrong with that either.”
Carlos smiles at him and nods. “I suppose not, no.”
“At least you’ll come to the city knowing someone; you won’t be alone or completely starting from scratch.”
“You? You would take that on?”
TK rolls his eyes. “Of course me. You think I’d leave you high and dry? Damn, I know New Yorkers have a bit of a rep but jeez,” he teases.
Carlos laughs. “I only meant...you barely even know me. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Maybe so but I’d like to get to know you better. And if we’re gonna be calling the same city home, it’s kind of perfect. You get a new job, a new city, a new friend. Pretty sweet package, if you ask me.”
“You’ll be my tour guide then? You can take me to all the hot spots, Central Park and Times Square for starters.”
TK shakes his head in dismay. “God, Times Square,” he groans. “Hell on earth but sure, just for you I’d make the exception.”
“I’m honored,” Carlos says, placing a hand over his heart.
“As you should be. There aren’t many reasons I’d willingly go there so you should be patting yourself on the back right now.”
Carlos raises a brow. “But you’re thinking I’d be worth it?”
TK’s face grows serious. “In a lot of ways I’m thinking you would be, yes.”
Carlos' face flushes a bit and he looks away, down at his feet as he begins to kick out in earnest to start swinging.
Not for the first time since meeting TK he isn’t sure if there’s more to his words just below the surface, if he’s flirting or just being naturally charismatic. It shouldn’t matter either way, Carlos tells himself. Starting up a new relationship when so much in his life is already about to change doesn’t seem smart.
And yet it’s difficult to bear that in mind when he looks over and sees that TK is still watching him. The man smiles softly and follows Carlos' lead, swinging a bit.
In the distance Carlos can hear the rise in voices from houses where everyone is celebrating, just waiting to usher in the new year.
“One minute to go,” TK says, looking at the time on his watch and digging his feet into the ground to stop himself.
Carlos keeps going, breathing in the last dregs of this year before it’s gone with the tick of the clock. He looks up at the pinpricks of stars above, almost glistening in the clear sky. He closes his eyes, soaks in the moment, the last few seconds of this year winding down.
The New Years party goers can be heard shouting their countdown and beside him, TK joins in quietly as well.
10
9
8
7
Carlos opens his eyes once more and holds his breath as he upward, counting down the last few seconds in his head. This year is going, going...
3
2
1
Gone.
He exhales as shouts from the neighboring houses rent the air. He stops swinging then, digging his feet into the hard earth beneath him as he looks over at TK. Beside him the man’s face is flushed, the tip of his nose pink from the cold but his gaze is unrelenting as he leans forward.
Carlos’ body seems to move on its own accord, closing the distance between them as well. He doesn’t think about anything other than what TK’s lips will feel like and before he realizes it, he’s getting his answer.
It’s a chaste kiss, truly just a meeting of mouths in a gentle press but it warms Carlos from the center all the way through his entire body. TK’s lips are soft and warm despite the cold.
“Happy New Year, Carlos,” TK says softly.
Carlos doesn’t have the slightest clue of what the road ahead will look like exactly but it’s enough to know that in some capacity, TK is going to be a part of it. Be it as a friend or something more, it makes Carlos hopeful to see how life will unfold, what other surprises it may have in store.
Carlos stares at him for a moment and it seems as if TK and the whole world is holding its breath as they sit in silence together. This feeling in his chest is so unlike anything Carlos has experienced before. He likes to think things through, to anticipate at least three steps ahead but his future is such a blank slate that it’s truly anyone’s guess as to what will happen next. All he can do is control this present moment and as Carlos sees it, kissing TK is the only thing on his agenda for right now.
He leans in again and kisses the man once more, deeply this time, hand cradling the back of TK’s neck.
Maybe this is risky, maybe this will only complicate his life further when he settles in New York and has to figure out what this all means. But in this moment, that all feels like a lifetime away, a page from a chapter that hasn’t been written yet. There’s only the here and now with this beautiful man that fills him with possibilities.
could i request #4 from the prompts list please 🤗💕
Moments Worth Waiting For
After TK has an accident at work, Carlos waits with his crew to see if he's okay.
Grace sits with him, lending him a shoulder to rest on.
Carlos Reyes sits in an uncomfortable chair at St. David Medical Center, staring at a closed door of the hospital where his boyfriend once again lies after another brush with death.
“I’m going to kill him,” Judd mutters angrily next to him as he fidgets in his seat. “After we bubble wrap him within an inch of his life, I’m going to kill him. Damn kid is going to send all of us to an early grave from worry.”
Carlos doesn’t say anything, but he understands the sentiment. It’s only been five months since TK got shot, five months since they decided to be together, making them the happiest months of Carlos’ life. Five months and here they are again, scared shitless as they wait to find out if TK is okay after a beam fell on him while answering to a fire in a downtown building.
Getting the call from Captain Strand telling him that TK was in the hospital after an accident had caused his heart to drop to his stomach – hours later, without the chance to see TK yet, his heart hasn’t returned to its rightful place.
“Bubble wrap and caution tape,” Judd continues his ranting, turning to look at him. “You probably have some in your squad car, right, Reyes?”
Carlos opens his mouth only to close it again, not really sure how he should answer the man. Luckily for him, Grace, Judd’s wife, places a hand on him, drawing his attention.
“Judd, darling, why don’t you go get us some coffee,” she says kindly even as her tone lets them know it’s not a suggestion. “You can keep planning to baby proof TK when you come back,” she finishes saying sarcastically.
Judd pouts at Grace’s blatant mocking but still stands up to do as she asks, leaving the space between them free.
“Sorry,” she says to him with a kind smile. “He gripes because he’s worried, it’s just Judd’s way of showing affection.”
Carlos gives her a half-smile to be polite before his eyes stray back to the closed door of the hospital room. Owen had gone in there with the doctor over twenty minutes ago and still nothing, he was slowly going insane.
Grace continues to look at him, a warm tentative look on her pretty face. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”
“I’m fine,” Carlos says on autopilot, grimacing when Grace shoots him a look that calls bull shit on his response. “Grace – “ he starts again, only to quiet when Grace’s expression turns no-nonsense.
“There is no one here that understands better than me what you are feeling,” she tells him, her voice serious. Her eyes lock with his, and Carlos can’t look away. He feels his heart catch at her next words. “To be so in love with someone who is always in danger. To have them in a hospital bed and not know if they’re going to be okay. I get that fear better than anyone.”
Carlos swallows hard, the word love echoing in his ears. He knows he loves TK, there isn’t a doubt in his mind of that, but this is the first time the word has been used when it relates to them, and it’s neither of them using it.
“We haven’t said we love each other yet,” he says quietly, giving voice to his thoughts. The smile he gets from Grace in return is as tender as it is amused.
“Sometimes things are obvious even without the words, sweetheart,” Grace says knowingly as she reaches out to take his hand in hers, laughing softly when he gives her a shy smile, feeling bashful at how obvious his feelings are. “But,” she continues with emphasis. “Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know?” she tells him with a raised eyebrow. “You should tell him.”
“Tell him what?” he questions quietly, looking around the waiting room again before landing on the door that remains closed despite his silent wishing for it to open already. “That I’m completely and hopelessly in love with him, or that I lose years of my life from worry when he’s in danger. Or maybe, that the idea of losing him makes something in my chest squeeze so hard it seems impossible to catch my breath?”
“I think all that falls under the hopelessly in love category,” she says kindly, chuckling again when he shoots her an exasperated look. She squeezes his hand, letting out a small sigh. “That feeling you described just now, that ‘can’t catch your breath’ feeling?” she questions with a sad, understanding smile on her lips. “I know that feeling all too well, Carlos. It’s exactly how I felt when Judd and the 126 had their accident. It felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room as I waited to see if Judd would wake up, I felt like I was dying.”
Carlos licks his lips anxiously. “Does that feeling stop?” he asks, his spirits lifting when her sad expression brightens.
“It did,” she tells him, her eyes shine with unshed tears; it’s obvious the memory still causes an emotional reaction out of Grace, but she smiles through it. “He opened his eyes and looked at me, and it was like there was oxygen in the room again. It will probably be the same for you.”
Carlos goes to speak when the door of TK’s room opens, a doctor walks out, followed by Owen, who looks around the room as everyone goes to attention.
“He’s okay, he’s awake,” he says, letting out a deep breath that’s echoed by everyone in the waiting room.
The volume in the room goes up as TK’s crew asks to see him, but Owen just shakes his head before turning to look at him. “He’s asking for you, Carlos,” he tells him as the side of his mouth lifts. “Won’t stop, actually.”
Carlos lets out a shaky breath as Grace pats his hand once more before he stands, breaking her gentle hold.
Walking towards the hospital room, he pauses at the door when Owen reaches out and squeezes his shoulder in support before moving to the side to let him in.
He finds green eyes already on him as he steps into the hospital room. TK is sitting up on the bed, white gauzes circle his head, and there are scratches on his face and left arm along with some light burns from the beam that fell on him.
“How are you feeling?” he asks TK, his voice thick as he tries to control his emotions and not sound as scared now as he’s felt since Owen called. The way TK’s gaze on him goes impossibly soft lets him know he’s not very successful.
“I'll feel much better when my boyfriend comes closer,” TK answers, his lips tilting at the corners when Carlos scoffs softly even as he walks towards the bed.
Once he’s within touching distance, TK does just that, and reaches out for his hand.
“And I’ll feel even better when said boyfriend I’m crazy about leans down to kiss me,” he continues, his pretty green eyes dancing with amusement as Carlos shakes his head.
“Needy,” he murmurs, feeling lighter when TK bobs his head in agreement before tipping his chin up, waiting for his kiss.
Carlos brushes his mouth against TK’s, keeping the kiss soft, not wanting to hurt TK’s injured body any more than it already is.
“I was so scared,” Carlos confesses against his mouth, not pulling back even as he sits at the edge of the bed.
“I know,” TK answers, his voice no more than a whisper, his face remorseful as he rests his forehead against Carlos’. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, baby,” Carlos whispers back. “You were just doing your job.”
“I know,” TK sighs, pressing his forehead a little harder against Carlos’ for a moment before pulling back to look at him. “I just hate making all of you worry,” he continues as he raises his hand, running his thumb over Carlos’ brow. “Especially you, sweetheart. I hate it.”
“I can’t help that,” Carlos says, almost apologetically. “I always worry about you.”
TK smiles softly at him, his eyes shining with affection and love. It echoes the feeling inside his chest, and Carlos remembers Grace's earlier advice.
“TK – I,” he starts only for TK to lift his hand, covering his mouth.
“I know,” TK tells him, and if his expression was full of love seconds ago, it’s nothing compared to now.
“I know, Carlos,” he continues, smiling that special TK smile of his that Carlos loves so much. “And I feel exactly the same way.”
Carlos touches TK’s wrist, bringing the hand over his mouth off his face. “Then why…” he trails off, lifting the hand between them.
“I don’t want the first time we say those words to be here,” TK explains; he brings their clasped hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss over Carlos’ knuckles. “I don’t want it to be while I’m in a hospital bed, and you’re worried about me,” he continues, frowning gently as he looks up at him. “I think we deserve better than that baby, don’t you?”
Carlos looks at TK, takes in the marks on his face, the tiredness of his eyes as the day’s event starts to take its toll, making them take on a haziness to their usual bright green, and he realizes TK is right. They do deserve a better moment for their first I love you’s than this. He continues to look at him, the man he loves, and even without the words, knows loves him too, banged up, but alive, and he thanks his lucky stars that they’ll have a chance after today to say those words.
“Yeah, baby, we do,” he agrees, his heart fluttering when TK smiles beautifully at him. “We do.”
TK is still smiling when he tugs him in closer, and he’s still smiling when they kiss. “We’ll get that moment, sweetheart,” he whispers against his lips before kissing him again.
A week later, when TK is safe and out of the hospital. When he’s in his arms as they get ready for bed and TK says those words, pressing them into the skin below his ear, his heart feeling fuller than it’s ever felt before, he knows the moment was worth the wait.
Chapter 2 - Twinkling stars and unfiltered complements
An additional moment from ep 2x06:Dosed of what happened in the hours after the pageant with the boys coming down from their hallucinogen high.
When Eddie gave Buck his key, Buck never would have thought he would actually need to use it. And yet here he was only a few weeks later, half supporting Eddie's loose frame to his door for the reason of drug incapacitation.
It was the day they were dosed by the reptile lady. After they had been cleared by medical, Athena had quarantined them all at the station and was waiting for the effects of the drug to wear off.
Buck had come back to his sense some hours later since the pageant incident with a grumbling stomach and a cottonmouth, feeling off-balance and confused as to why he felt like he’d been drugged.
He found himself on the couch with Eddie who was lying on his back with his head on the armrest gazing up at the ceiling, his legs lying across Buck’s lap, looking well and truly out of it. With one eye squeezed shut in concentration Buck thought back to the reason for his current situation, and eventually remembered a vague memory of being handcuffed and Athena saying something about a hallucinogen.
Buck groaned, scrubbing at his face before running his fingers through his hair, and then eased himself out from beneath Eddie’s legs, making his way to the fridge, noticing Athena on his way, still dressed in her uniform.
Feeling a warm fuzzy fondness towards her for no specific reason, he deviated from his path to give her a one-armed hug from behind eliciting a surprised laugh from her as her attention is taken away from her phone. “Buck? How are you doing there? You seem more with it now.”
“We were drugged. Am I remembering that right?” He asked as he continued on his journey to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, guzzling half of it before setting it down on the counter.
“That’s right, a hallucinogen in the brownies.”
“Well, I can safely say I won’t be eating any snacks given to us by the public anytime soon.”
He turned his attention to the pantry for the muesli bars that he always kept stocked and stuffed a few in his pocket before opening one to satisfy his grumbling stomach.
“No doubt.” She responded, giving him a once over before taking a sip from the mug sitting in front of her.
He leaned his forearms against the countertop and blearily glanced around realising how quiet the space was, “Where’s everyone else?”
“Next shift came in early, Chim took Hen home, Bobby didn’t want to leave until everyone else did so he’s in his office resting as well; and well, you know where Eddie is.”
“Ah yes.” Buck looked back over to Eddie, who was still lying on the couch sleepily mumbling about butterflies. “I’ll drop him off at his place on my way home.”
Athena quirked an eyebrow at the statement, “I should hope that you’re not driving.”
He couldn't help but grin at her motherly tone, “Don’t worry, I’ll order us a ride.”
Athena stood up from the table at that and gave him a pat on the shoulder as she passed him on her way to Bobby's office, “Thankfully you’ve got the next day off to clear this out of your system. I’m going to try again with Bobby. Now that you’re heading home, hopefully he’ll be more willing to leave.”
“Good luck with that.” He called to her retreating form, getting an answering wave of acknowledgment in return.
Buck headed back to Eddie and tapped him lightly on the head. “Come on man, time to go home.”
Eddie peered up at him with a lazy smile making Buck think that either Eddie had a few more brownies than he remembered, or he was just feeling the effects stronger than he expected. Eddie thrust a hand towards him, Buck shook his head in amusement before gripping his forearm and easily pulled him to his feet before gently directing his body to the locker room to gather their things before leading him to sit outside while they waited for their ride.
Eddie leaned heavily into him once they were settled and tipped his head back to look up at the developing stars.
“When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut because I wanted to see the stars up close.” Said Eddie wistfully, cutting through the quiet are of the evening.
“I’ve always loved them, they always look like they’re twinkling.” He continued as he dropped his head on Buck’s shoulder with a fond sigh, “your eyes do that sometimes when you smile too.”
Buck glanced down at him in amusement, brow slightly furrowed at the clearly unfiltered complement. Before he had a chance to reply, however, the driver pulled up into the parking lot, distracting him from his thoughts for a moment as he focused on balancing both their bags on his shoulders while also steering Eddie towards the car.
The drive didn’t take too long, with Buck spending the majority of the time staring unseeingly out the window as he replayed that moment, wondering what Eddie meant by what he said while the man in question was slumped sideways in what looked to be an uncomfortable position against his door.
He thanked the driver when they arrived and asked him if he wouldn’t mind waiting while he got Eddie settled inside to which the man graciously agreed.
Buck groaned when they reached the door, realising that he’d have to dig around for Eddie’s keys in his duffle until he remembered latently that his own keys were in his pocket, holding the very key he needed to get into the house.
Huffing out a sigh of relief, Buck opens the door and drags Eddie inside, thankful that Christopher was already staying at Pepa’s place for the night.
Eddie was easy to direct to his bedroom and happy faceplanted bonelessly onto his bed without prompting leading Buck to chuckle as he pulled off Eddie’s boots before draping a throw blanket over him that he’d snagged on the way to the bedroom.
Quickly rifling in Eddie’s duffle that he’d dropped by the bedroom door, Buck found his phone and drink bottle and set them both on his bedside, putting his phone on charge and checking it for an alarm making sure it was turned on, knowing Eddie wouldn’t appreciate sleeping the day away.
Nodding to himself, Buck turned to leave, flicking off the light when Eddie spoke, half mumbling into his pillow, “I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Me too Eddie,” he answered softly, lightly rapping a knuckle once against the door frame before half pulling the door shut and headed back to the patiently waiting driver.
When he eventually got home, Buck typed out a message for Eddie to wake up to, pre-emptively explaining what had happened in case he didn’t remember, judging from how fuzzy he was himself, Buck wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.
With that last task done, Buck fell into bed himself, looking forward to sleeping off the remnants of the drug still in his system, blissfully unaware of how much of the day Eddie turned out to remember come morning.
Almost two months after their first encounter, Carlos is back in TK's life, aka Thief Carlos AU Part 2
For @officerrxyes and @brilliantbanshee. Thank you for running the @911giftexchange. I know that means you can’t participate yourselves and I thought you deserved something too.
Thanks to @oneawkwardcookie for coming up with a title so I could actually post this.
Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Marjan Marwani & TK Strand. 5 196 words
thank you thank you! i come bearing a drabble for you!
3. “I know it hurts.”
“I know it hurts, but you need to stop squirming.”
TK huffs indignantly, glaring from the couch, green eyes shooting daggers.
“Tyler,” Carlos says sternly. “All you have is a cut, and that’s because somehow you’ve managed to catch the edge of the table while you fell over nothing.”
TK purses his lips. “Besides,” Carlos whispers as he leans in closer, “if you behave, I may have a treat for you later.”
Immediately, TK offers the injured arm. He can get through the ordeal of stinging cuts if he gets a reward in the form of one Carlos Reyes later.
because we talked about it and i need to know if it’s coming.... “knee”
Not yet...but it is coming lol. I need to update my Smiley Face Killers AU and it is coming later in that story with what I guess will mimic the van and gas station scene of the movie. I can say that much at least lol.
