#eddiesdiaz

[evanbukley]

Endless Buck: (13/?) » “then why isn’t the bell going off?“

[911icons]

EDDIE DIAZ

☆ requested by anonymous​​ ☆ 640x360 / 3 screencaps ☆ find them all under the cut ☆ find more on our header page ☆ please like or reblog if you save/use

[half-bakedboy]

My first contribution to the @911podficfest! 🎉

I can’t thank the mods enough for their help and understanding during this fest. It was such a fun event to be a part of! Thank you so much to eddiesdiaz who gave me permission to record this podfic and for writing such an incredible story. Eddie-centric fics mean the world to me and this is by far my favorite. 

An additional thank you to @mistmarauder who inspires me every conversation and cheered me on when I lost my first take of this podfic. This wouldn’t be posted without your support ❤️

from the ground up by eddiesdiaz 

podfic by thatnerdemryn

Length: 48 minutes Format: Streaming & MP3 Fandom: 9-1-1 Relationship: Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley listen on ao3

Summary: If he’s honest, Eddie gets why Buck filed the lawsuit.

He does. He understands the hopelessness, the feeling you’re losing all control, like you’re sinking, drowning, desperate for a way out. He knows because it’s the same way he felt when he enlisted.

That doesn’t mean it hurts any less when Buck leaves him, though.

(Basically 8,000 words of Eddie working through his abandonment/communication/intimacy issues and building a strong, healthy relationship with Buck, because it's what he deserves.)

[detectivecarlosreyes]

How do you know when you're losing control

Ao3 | 711 words | Rated: General Audience | Eddie introspection

Summary: Spoilers for 5x01. Eddie is just going through it, trying to understand what's going on and why he's getting panic attacks.

Panic attack.

That’s what the doctor said. Panic attack, not heart attack.

And Eddie couldn’t understand it.

It had felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest the way it was beating so hard and fast. And he’d never felt his chest feel quite so tight that it was near impossible to breathe. The way his legs gave out from under him as his vision blurred around the edges. But when he thought about it and after Chris had announced to the doctor that he’d been shot; he remembered that it wasn’t his left arm or shoulder that hurt but his right.

Still, it didn’t make any sense to him, he’s never had a panic attack before, not even after he returned from Afghanistan. And that was a far more anxiety-inducing event than what happened 4 months ago. So why was it happening now? If these were panic attacks, then why didn’t they start happening in all those months since being shot?

The doctor had an answer for that too.

Repression.

That’s what she called it.

I don’t panic. That is what he said but deep down in his heart, he knew that a panic attack was the only reasonable explanation, even if he didn’t like it. That doesn’t mean that he couldn’t deny it. He didn’t want it to be true. He had put his wound in his past, did the rehab, healed. Back to full function. Being shot wasn’t something that he want to think about ever again now that it was behind him.

Why should he, he’s fine now.

At least he thought he was.

That was until he had that minor blip at the air traffic control tower. Spaced out on Chim. He had felt his chest start to constrict again and his eyes lost focus like the first time. The only saving grace was that he was at work, a reason for him not to lose control, something to focus on and suppress what was happening.

Even when the second patient had said he was experiencing the same sort of symptoms he had felt just the other day, he suggested that it could be a panic attack, like the hypocrite that he was, denying to himself that that was what had happened to him.

If it was a panic attack, then what was it that triggering it? It’s a question that swirled around and around in his head as they traveled to the hospital. Because no matter how much he thought about it, the two incidents were entirely unrelated.

Regardless, he thought maybe it was over. That he could put this medical setback behind him too. That is until he set foot back in the hospital this time wheeling a gurney instead of being on one and saw Dr. Salazar. Heard the surprise behind the recognition in her voice when she called his name. Saw Buck’s confusion as he picked up what she was putting down, comprehending that he’d been to see her recently.

And now he knows that there was absolutely no way that he’s going to be able to put this behind him anytime soon. Not when Buck has heard what he’s heard. His best friend can be like a dog with a bone when he wants to be, and this was going to be no different.

And yet he still denied to him that anything was wrong. Because that was the crux of it. He’s always been an ignore it until it goes away kind of person when it comes to himself. But he knows that now that Buck has caught wind that something was going on with him, he’s never going to let it go until he gets answers.  And he’s always appreciated Buck caring about him, but it means coming to terms with what he’s been denying to himself.

He said he doesn’t panic. Because, to him, panic feels like a loss of control. It means letting down the wall that he surrounds himself with to hide his true emotions, not just the watercolour versions of them and thats what scares him.

Because the problem was that once he admits it to himself that he does panic, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to stop.

[etherealtauruss]

Eddie Being Clingy? I Read Your PDA Fic And I’d Love To See Eddie Wanting Buck

you got it.

warnings: tooth rotting fluff

their alarm goes off and eddie immediately hits the snooze button

he snuggles farther into buck’s arms, taking in his lover’s scent

“you’re cuddly today.”

“that a problem?”

“nope. love when you need a little extra loving. but we have to get up soon, all the kiddies need to be to school by 8.”

eddie pouts, “but i wanna stay here with you.”

buck chuckles lightly into his hair, “i promise, we’ll be back home by 9. we can even stop at starbucks on the way back to get that sandwich you like.”

the morning went pretty smoothly and all of the diaz kids arrived at their respective buildings on time

when buck and eddie returned home, they decided to take a shower together

between the soft, languid kisses and the steam of the shower, they could’ve stayed there for hours

they eventually exited their shower and headed back towards the master bedroom

eddie took great pleasure in having his husband lotion him from head to toe

he liked to be pampered okay?

once dressed in new boxers and each other’s worn sweatshirts, they hopped back into bed

eddie resumed the position similar to that of the one he first woke up in

“eds?”

“yeah?”

“i love you so much.”

eddie wrapped his arms around buck, and began to trace light circles on his back, “i love you more.”

hope you enjoyed!

[florenceandthemachine]

feelings, they can travel too

for the wonderful @eddiesdiaz on this, the most glorious day of her birth! she asked me for a road trip fic and I aim to please. bby plz enjoy 13k of Buddie traveling across the country. buddie, 13k, hurt/comfort, light angst, first kiss, cuddling, the whole nine yards.

“Ev.”

Buck felt his heart sink further when Maddie finally spoke—he was only Evan when he was in trouble, and he was only Ev when something terrible had happened.

“Ev, Dad is dead.”

on Ao3

[buttercupbuck]

🔥🔥 go off queen

cailee!! 

ok i caught some flack for this but eddie's gym look in 2.01 is bad. like straight up. im sorry king but this was not the one 

[doeeyeseddie]

💕 get to know your mutuals!! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, send this to 10 people you want to get to know better!! 🥺🌼💕

aww thank you cailee!! 💖

1. this has been sitting in my inbox for ages because whenever i get these kind of asks i forget every single fact about myself (yes i‘m putting this down as a fact)

2. i work in publishing, which is what i've wanted to do since i was 12, only i ended up in a completely different job than i imagined as a kid (and i think what i do now is better)

3. i think peas are the best vegetable and can go with almost any savoury food 😂

4. my favourite book is "everything you never told me" by celeste ng

5. i've worn glasses since i was 13 and i think my face looks empty without them so i never wear contacts (also, i can't touch my eyeballs??? sjdjh)