#official decree

[rookamell]

Today is my birthday!! If you see this as a birthday present I demand Lucanis pictures/headcanons to be sent to me immediately. Funny smutty or anything inbetween. Show me The Guy™️! Alternatively you can send me your Rooks and brag about them!!

[itsyaboyeric]

Is it true that you’re the new pope

Yes this is true. Do not believe the lies coming out of the Vatican right now. Just a bunch of hogwash if we're being honest.

[itsyaboyeric]

How did you become the raccoon pope?

I was selected by several cardinal raccoons from various countries. They all held a vote and I secured two-thirds of the raccoon electorate in a crucial sweep.

—Papa Procyon

[rexalogy]

more people should be sexually attracted to the level enemies from mario games

[borgatabent]

Open. Your asshole.

Stop having it. Be clenched.

[dereknursey]

talk to me/ask me about nursey more. tonight is nursey night.

[bonethugsnhermione]

The Constantine movie is underrated

[ottomanliest]

By the power vested in me as a Canadian citizen, I, Jade Ottomanliest, proclaim American Tumblr user Emma Francofous to be an honourary Canadian on every Canada Day for the rest of her natural life.