🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?
How simple, I would wish to have a warm body to hold you with... that, or that we would never part.
💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?
Darling, I miss you most ardently when you aren't with me. You may descend a floor down in the tower, or walk to the other side of a room, and the moment the feeling of your touch vanishes, I miss you. Sometimes, it pains me that my face is incapable of showing it.
💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?
I have never looked for anyone else, so I can only speak to what drew me to you.
At first, it was your eyes. They were a stormy blue like the sky the day I came into existence. Yet, they also held a great sadness in them I had never known, and felt urged to whisk away. Do not think of the sadness, love, or the cause of it. Think of me.
In the days following I came to know you more personally, your whims and wants, your caprices, your vices, your torments. They became mine as readily as a gift. I endeavoured then to keep you as my own, should you want to be...
I'm reading the fifth Oksa Pollock book and I figured oh hey tumblr might have a fandom... HELLO??? WHERE IS EVERYONE???????
Anyway I'm emotional, I'm almost 23 and I started reading this series when I was 13, what the hell. I kinda wanna make fanart now tbh the lack of it is unacceptable.
The Beginning: Psychology and the Law (Killing Eve Fic) Chapter 6
AO3 Link
Chapter [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
Chapter 6: Evaluations
Sometime during the first week of January, Eve managed to push herself into actually going to campus to get some work done. The entire psychology building was quiet, almost unnervingly so, but Eve did happen to pass by one open door on the way to her office and it made Eve pause.
“Elena, hi! I didn’t really expect anyone to be here.”
Elena jumped slightly at hearing Eve’s voice, but smiled when she looked up at her. “Oh, hi, Eve! I wouldn’t have really thought anyone would be here either. I figured I’d focus better here than at home, less distraction.”
“My thoughts as well.”
Elena wasn’t looking at her, staring instead at a spot on the floor directly between Eve’s feet. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and her cheeks seemed slightly flushed.
After the New Year’s party, Eve had some initial concerns about her impulsive kissing of Elena. She hadn’t thought it through at all and if she had she probably wouldn’t have done it. Any of it. Elena, or Hugo, or the other couple people whose faces Eve didn’t really recall.
Elena, in particular, had reacted at little bit strangely, much more strongly than really made sense to Eve. The passionate way she’d kissed Eve back after her initial freezing reaction had left Eve sort of unsettled, once she stopped to think about it. Not that there was anything wrong with Elena, not at all. She was very pretty and Eve did enjoy talking to her. But she was a colleague and that was the kind of conflicted relationship Eve had no desire to ever involve herself in. And even aside from that, Eve felt like she’d done something wrong.
“Look, Elena, I’m sorry about New Year’s. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Elena quickly looked up at her and she seemed surprised. “No, you didn’t upset me. I like you, Eve.”
Eve averted her eyes and shifted from one foot to the other. “Oh.”
“No, it’s not a big deal, nothing serious. I just really didn’t mind the kiss. But I know you’re not interested and that’s okay. What with Oksana and everything.”
Eve’s gaze locked onto Elena’s. “What do you mean by that?” She knew her voice sounded a little harsh. She hadn’t intended it to, but the tension slipped into her words all the same.
Elena shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, you clearly like her.”
“We’re just friends.”
“I didn’t say you were together, I said you liked her.”
Eve rubbed her forehead. “I just...find her attractive.” The admission surprised her, but it had been a long time coming and Elena was easy to talk to.
Elena laughed. “Obviously, Eve. The woman is hot. Everyone knows that.”
That actually made Eve feel better. Everyone was smitten with Oksana, she was just like that. She took everyone's breath away. She was just one of those people. It wasn’t Eve’s problem.
“Yeah, so, then what’s your point?”
“Exactly that. You like her.”
“No more than anyone else does.”
Elena pursed her lips. “I don’t know about that. Other people have other distractions. I’m not saying that if she had shoved me up against a wall at that party and asked me to go home with her that I wouldn’t have agreed.” Eve was certainly blushing. If Elena had noticed, she ignored it and continued. “But that’s not my focus. Personally, I’m trying to get that IT guy to ask me out. I keep pretending my computer is broken. Kenny, do you know him?”
“Vaguely, I think.”
Elena nodded. “So, I guess I’d say that’s the difference. The focus.”
“I’m not focused on her.”
“Whatever you say. But I get why you would be, you spend a lot of time together don’t you?”
“We just go out for drinks sometimes. She’s nice. She’s friendly. She’s like that to everyone.”
Elena shook her head. “Not to everyone, not like that. I mean, she’s friendly, yeah. Flirty, totally. But not like that. I don’t know anyone else who’s gone out for drinks with her.”
“We’re friends, I told you that.”
Elena sighed. “Okay, Eve. Whatever you say.” She turned back to her computer. “Oh, did you see the professor rankings came out? You got second.”
Eve was floored. Dr. Martens had mentioned that there was a list published at the end of each term of all the professors in the department based on the student evaluations. She could never have dreamed she would have ranked so well, though. It was her very first term, that was beyond remarkable.
“Wow. Do you have it, can I see?”
“Uh, yeah,” Elena said, opening up a window on her computer, “But I should probably tell you that…” she trailed off. Eve had already seen.
“Oh.” She sort felt like she’d had the wind knocked out of her.
“Yeah…”
——--
Eve went through the rest of the day feeling weird, but that was fine. She’d been feeling weird a lot over the past few weeks and would probably do well with a drink or some loud music or both. She hadn't actually seen Oksana or really even talked to her since New Year's, but it was probably time to bite the bullet and return to feigning normalcy with the woman. So, Eve called her as she walked toward the staff parking lot at the end of the day.
“Hey,” she answered. Eve could hear the muffled sound of the TV in the background.
“Do you want to go out? It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, I guess it has. But sure. I need to get ready, though, I’m a bit naked.” Eve rolled her eyes up towards the sky and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Great.” Her voice was a little curt and Oksana seemed to notice.
“I can be quick. We can go to the place around the corner from my apartment, I’ll probably ready as soon as you get there. I’m guessing you’re at school.”
“Yeah, I am,” Eve paused. “Actually, can I park at your place and walk over from there? I think there’s construction, parking will be a nightmare.”
“Sure, I don’t care. Text me and I’ll buzz you up. And I promise to be dressed when you arrive.”
Eve inhaled slowly. “Great.”
“See you soon!”
Eve hung up without responding.
———--
Oksana answered her door in a silk dressing gown.
“You’re not dressed,” Eve stated flatly. Oksana looked her up and down. Eve’s arms were crossed over her chest and her expression was mostly blank, perhaps a touch annoyed.
“I’m not naked.” Oksana’s response didn’t seem amuse Eve.
She sighed and pushed past Oksana into the apartment. “Are you going to get ready?”
“In a minute. Do you want some wine or something? You seem very wound up.”
Oksana wandered into the kitchen and began examining the bottles in the rack on the counter.
“Yeah, sure, I guess.” Eve leaned against the island behind Oksana, examining the countertop. “They posted the professor evaluation rankings.”
“Oh? How’d we do?” Oksana set a glass in front of Eve but she didn’t look up.
“First and second.”
Oksana squealed. “What? Go us! I knew we were incredible.”
“Well, apparently you’re more incredible.” Eve was clearly irritated and not even attempting to hide it.
It took Oksana a minute to find a response, but she eventually came up with a “what?” Eve looked up at her eyes narrowed. Oksana was totally lost.
“You beat me.”
“Okay? So? It can’t have been by much.” Eve huffed. “What was my rating?” Oksana asked. There had to be something she was missing.
“4.92”
“And what was yours?”
“4.84”
Oksana was having a really hard time processing Eve’s freakout and the situation in general. “So you’re upset over...less than a tenth of a point?”
She liked Eve and part of why she liked her is because she felt that she understood Eve, at least a lot better than she understood most other people. But at that moment she was at a complete loss to explain her.
“Don’t dismiss me, Oksana,” Eve snapped.
“I’m not, I’m just trying to understand why you’re so upset.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Most people would understand that!” Eve’s irritability had clearly been building since she’d walked into the apartment, but she’d finally hit a true breaking point.
Oksana threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Why are you yelling at me?”
"I'm upset!"
“What, are you jealous?” Eve had yet to actually explain why she was upset and Oksana was truly grasping at straws in terms of explanations at that point.
“Yeah. No. I’m annoyed. What do you even do? They all like you because you dress hot every day and you’re funny and you tell stupid, silly stories. They probably just all have crushes on you or something. Which makes sense because you know how to manipulate people really well and I’m sure you just play with them until they adore you no matter what. But you don’t take things seriously like I do and it pisses me off that you still win in spite of that. You piss me off.”
The last vestiges of understanding Oksana had been trying to cultivate were gone and cold rage settled over her like a wave. She was about ready to slap Eve across the face. “What the hell, Eve? That’s really rude. You are acting like a total asshole right now and I do not understand why. But you cannot talk to me like that.”
Eve rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
Oksana came around the counter and in an instant she was in Eve’s face. “No. Not whatever. I do not know what is wrong with you, I do not know what is going on in your life that is making you feel like you need to lash out, but you need to find another way to handle it. Go to a boxing class. Find someone with a degradation kink. I don’t know, Eve. But I am not your emotional punching bag. I like you, but I don’t like you that much.”
Eve was glaring at her and she sort of looked like she wanted to wrap her hands around Oksana’s throat or something equally violent. Oksana could more than relate. She clenched her fists at her sides, threw her head back, and hissed out a long breath.
