#old relationships

[twinnflowrr]

we won’t be saved, we’ll live as slaves to love. what God takes away, let’s refill all the holes with mud.

[crmsnmth]

Remembering the Almost

I remember her the way you remember sunlight through a window you no longer live near Nothing about it hurts on its own its the absence that does the work

She laughed once at something small and the moment stayed even after everything else learned how to leave It still knows my name

The memory is good that’s the problem it doesn’t argue, doesn’t fade doesn’t turn bitter enough to dismiss it just sits there polite and devastating

Sometimes I replay it by accident the sound of her voice the way time felt softer then and for a second I’m almost okay before I remember that “almost” is as close as it gets

I don’t miss her loudly I miss her in the background in the spaces between thoughts where good memories go when they know they can’t stay

And I hate how gentle it is how something so warm can make the present feel so cold

[666vw]

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? 😥😭😭😭

[karihighman]

“I’ve been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end. But on a Wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it begin again.”

[faithlustxfaeriedust]

When you replay the playlist they made you from time to time to remember the beautiful memories you made together. People leave marks on your heart. It’s hard to forget those. It’s a whole feeling. An entire way of being that you will never replicate except when you’re with them. And sometimes that’s just how you’re meant to experience life. In a kaleidoscope of feelings and colors that are manipulated and changed based on the person you’re around and vibing with in that moment.

[mynameisnotcelia]

-how we’d end up-

There was a day

We went to the mall

And got some lunch

You stared at me

With worried eyes

“Do you think we’ll end up like them?”

We both knew the story:

Our teacher divorced

His wife

We weren’t in school anymore but

We knew it

Like everyone else

“Do you think we’ll end up like them?”

It was implied we’d get married

A white wedding that you couldn’t

Carry me to

It was implied that I’d live with you

In the city

While you finished your degree

Do you know I saved my money

Ever so carefully?

I didn’t want to be a burden.

“Do you think we’ll end up like them?”

Yes, I think we would have.

If I’d had it my way

My past self would’ve said

“I’ll love him till death, let us be wed.”

And then, and then

We would see each other then

Years down the road

And wonder why our eyes

Didn’t glow

Anymore.

That’s what would have happened.

So now we are friends:

Can you believe it? Friends.

And I can still see your eyes glow.

Oh my dear, your eyes look so much fuller

Now that we are friends.

A divine foreshadowing,

A provident doubt:

We are so much better

When we do without.

[rosebudsflower]

When you learn about attachement styles and réalise that you are an anxious avoidant. It’s difficult to let people in but when you do you embrace them whole heartedly. You also have a tendency to give your all into a relationship but if you don’t feel like it’s reciprocated you retreat and distance yourself emotionally to protect yourself. After all you’ve had a history of being let down and putting that much energy into something only to get the same results is arguably traumatic.

In other words:

I like quality over quantity when it comes to people and I’m extreamly selective and precautious.

I’ll be the person I’ve always wish was there for me. I’ll be your ride or die, until you inadvertently let me know you don’t reciprocate the way I value you. Then I’ll make sure to move along in order to prevent from getting hurt any further.

I have a tendency to look for red flags because I’ve been blindsided by them as a child, so I make sure not to miss them now. Can’t afford to feel a abandoned/let down again haha (I am consciously trying to look for white flags🙄 it just doesn’t come naturally)

If I feel hurt I will actively push you away.

[wellthisisgawkward]

I miss slow dancing in the kitchen to no music

I miss inside jokes that would make us both dissolve into laughter

I miss the feeling of being loved

But one comfort remains

I don’t miss the pain of loving you