I'd say she's the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid my eyes on.
From the tearful eyes and messy clothes, hanging unwashed, and in the checkered skirt with chains across her body, her eyes remain the same calmness throughout.
And all of it is beautiful.
"Is she nice?"
I found that, when she wants to, she can turn me from a bleeding void into a hopeless romantic in the matter of seconds, only by her warmth, her invisible smile.
And with her, I don't see the dark.
Just the gentle rain and the locked hands while we smoke and let the world exist.
"Do you like her?"
I liked her a lot before, but I think I crossed the horizon when I saw her passion between the lines of the careful writings. She calls it messy, for me, it was delicate. I think I felt for her the moment I heard her laugh.
It was angelic, and to me, she has always been perfect.
"Does she like you?"
I hope so. I really do. I was always worried knowing what was going into, but when I hear her on the other side of the world, laughing at my worst jokes, I think I make her happy and warm. Yeah, she likes me.
"So why is it complicated?"
It just is. But in the end, whatever struggle may be in front of us, I know in the end, it'll be her by my side, struggling to come up with plans on who'll change the dippers or who's gonna clean the dishes. But when I drift away, I'd like to hold her hand and let her guide towards her in the afterlife.
"What's her name?"
Rheannon. Her name is Rheannon. But I'll always know her as Flambe, the girl I keep falling for.
A/N- This is a story I wrote 3 years ago! It was my first Kpop fanfiction and one of the first fanfictions I ever wrote. It had some really terrible writing :/. I rewrote a lot of it, but I kept the storyline, as cringy as it may be. I just edited some sentences for it to flow better and to make it a bit higher quality of writing. I hope you enjoy!
*****
It was only a month into the new school year and I was already exhausted. I thought this final year would be easy, but because I goofed off last year, I am struggling this year. I already forgot my chemistry homework and had to rush to get it finished during lunch, which I forgot my lunch too, and now I can’t get my locker combination to work.
I sigh and hit my forehead against my locker, I close my eyes and try to think of a solution quickly. I feel a tap on my shoulder and quickly turn around top see a tall boy with dark hair and brown eyes looking at me. I was familiar with who he was, though, I had never talked to him.
“You’re in front of my locker.” He smiles sheepishly at me, causing me to look at the number quickly.
I face palm after realizing I was at the wrong locker, locker number 354. I slide over to the next locker over, 353.
“I’m sorry, it’s been a long month.” I apologize to the boy as he nods in understanding.
I quickly unlock my locker, shouting praises in my head. I get my math textbook for my next class and close the metal door. I turn to go to my class when I see a notebook lying on the floor a few feet in front of me. I pick up the notebook and look around to see if the owner was around. In this crowd, there was no way I’d ever find the owner. I decide it would be best to check the inside, thinking they may have put their name inside.
Just as I had the page turned, the bell rang. I quickly close the notebook and speed walk to my math class.
I watch the clock tick away, waiting for the bell to ring any moment. I look down at my belongings, making sure they were packed so I could just get up and leave the room whenever the bell dismissed us. I see the notebook sitting on top of my stack of books and papers.
I open the notebook to the front page, hoping to see a name scribbled on the inside. The name written strikes a familiar chord, slight guilt rising up in me.
I think of the tall, dark haired boy I had encountered this morning as I look at the black ink that displayed his name. I look at the front page, seeing his English notes, noticing how neat and pretty his handwriting was.
I see little doodles drawn throughout the pages that he had drawn next to some words, making me smile at the cuteness of the doodles.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the bell ringing, indicating the end of the period. I quickly stand with my belongings and walk out of the class, making my way up to the correct locker. I exchange my books out, gathering the correct ones for the next classes. I wait by my locker for a few moments, waiting for the boy to come to his locker so I give him his notebook.
I look at my watch and see the halls slowly emptying, the bell was about to ring. I sigh and start to walk to my next class, knowing I’ll have to wait until next period.
This continues for the whole day, ready to give him the notebook, but never seeing him. This left me with the notebook on the last period. I sigh out heavily, trying to think how to get it to him. I walk up to my locker one last time and put my books inside, grabbing my purse to leave. I decide to wait a little while, maybe he will come for it.
The halls were empty and everyone had left about ten minutes before. I take a quick look around the halls before I stand from my sitting position. I start to unlock my locker to put the notebook in when I hear loud, fast footsteps coming up the stairs. I look to see the boy stop at the top and try to catch his breath. He meets my eyes and quickly stands, trying to control his labored breathing.
"Hey..." He waves awkwardly, making me giggle.
"Hi." I wave back.
He walks up to me with a confused face.
"What are you doing here, by yourself?" He asks with concern.
"Oh, actually I was waiting for you." I tell him.
His eyes widen and his face brightens slightly.
"Uhhhh... I." He starts.
"Oh not like, no..." I tell him quickly, looking down and holding out his notebook. "I found this in the hallway."
He takes the notebook and opens it to see his handwriting.
"Thank you so much!" He smiles widely at me. "I was looking for this. I have an English test coming up."
I laugh at his expression. "Yea, no problem." I start to leave, not having anything else to say.
"Hey wait." He grabs my hand, making me turn to him. "I'm Eunwoo."
"I know, everyone knows you here." I laugh.
"Well, I'm introducing myself so that you'll see me as a friend and not as someone 'everyone knows here'." He looks away.
I pull my hand from his and watch as he sighs in defeat.
"It's nice to meet you Eunwoo." I introduce myself and hold my hand for him to shake.
He looks up and grabs my hand and shakes it with a smile.
"You too." He smiles at me, making me blush slightly from his gorgeous smile.
We both begin walking back out of the school, side by side. We reach outside and walk until we had to split ways.
"By the way." I get Eunwoo's attention before parting ways. "Your doodles are cute."
He blushes bright red. "That's my business!" He whines.
He knows the things he cannot face.
A shame it’s just the human race,
He mind warped from time alone,
When all around him only drone.
His friends and family say they care,
It feels although he isn’t there.
The boy just knows he isn’t right,
Till all thats left to him is flight.
His thoughts to flee though know not where
To only shut out the endless fear.
You think you’re insane…
You think there is something wrong with you
You idolize this
You romanticize this
Look at me
Look at me and hear me
IF anyone was to listen to the things I need
The things I want,
I would be considered insane
I am insane
But only one person knows that
But see,
IF everyone else knew
Id be locked away
You say you wish you felt more,
You didn’t feel dispare
You wish you felt what i did
Trust me
You don’t
Because the cravings i get
The urges i want
The things i feel a need to fulfill
Are dangerous
Dark
And strange
Lying here in the warm summer breeze, while planets compete with streetlights in the dark, watching debris burn in our atmosphere I think of you and that moment.
Spring, your house, all orange sun and green grass and lens flares. Your underwear, socks, and long legs stand tall over concrete canyons. Your white t-shirt makes love to your back. Brown strands, back light and ginger in the sun, hug your smiling face. The world has kissed you with youth and beauty and perfection and lustful wonder in the pale orange light.
Three years later, different season, different mindset, I still can't get that pale orange off my mind.
