Lay Off! |Master-List|
Roronoa Zoro x !Fem!Reader, fluff, angst/comfort, anxiety, reader snaps, anger-issues, make-up, swearing, lowkey made me tear up.
Summary: You get overstimulated and finally break...
A/N: I have finally revised this fic. I am so glad, because I can’t believe I WROTE THIS 😭😭 There might be a few slip-ups, but it’s WAY better from before.
(Taking a break changes your grammar and set-up istg.)
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It'd been mid-day.
The hours had been painstakingly fucking long, and you'd cooped yourself up in your room to avoid further attention.
You didn't know what set you off, but you just wanted it to stop.
Your skin crawled, and your head felt like it was going to explode. Your limbs helplessly flexed and turned, attempting to alieve your symptoms, but nothing would let up. You were wound. And you were wound tight. Your body wouldn’t let you loose, leaving you to suffer as anxiety prickled over your skin.
You tried to distract yourself with a small craft, you really did, but only more frustration welled. You couldn’t keep still, and you finally cursed. Hands slammed against the desk, sending your paper crafts across the wood, into your mess of scraps.
Tears welled, and you pushed yourself away with your rolling chair—avoiding the further abuse you’d inflict on your workspace. Heat raged, and your nails drug through your hair, trying to pull yourself out of your head, but it wasn’t enough. No matter the distance you put within yourself, it never felt right.
You were stressed, anxious, and torn that you pushed the ones you loved away. And you could never fucking explain why. You just felt so angry. So turmoiled, that you didn’t even know what to do with yourself.
Your fists curled in your hair and a burning sensation followed, leaving you to feel something other than your pain.
But the unexplainable feeling grew, and it coursed through you like an endless loop of rage and helplessness. You didn’t know how to control it, and you didn’t know how to deal with it, you just couldn’t function.
Left, to right. Over and over, you paced your room. Trying to calm down, but a distant knock echoed.
"Hey, lunch is..." Usopp's voice trailed off as he saw your state, and he quickly backed off.
"Uh, I'll let Sanji know you—“
"Just go, please!" you snapped, banging your fists against your head. Your chest heaved, and Usopp’s breath caught.
"Yep! On it!" he squeaked, shutting your door.
Silence washed over the room, but peace didn't follow like it usually did. It was unbearable, and your body felt intolerable. Like you needed to do something, or you needed something. You couldn’t remember what or why, and nothing clearly came through…
The restlessness grew, and it was boiling.
You shakily went back to your desk, picking up the small paper you'd originally thrown with your trembling hands, trying to convince yourself it'd be okay. That you'd get through it.
You could just mend it. You could do it. It'd be okay. Just calm down.
You're fine.
It was just some small papery flowers, how hard could it be? Anyone could do it—you had this. You always did. You got frustrated and eventually came back to fix it. You just needed time.
So why couldn't you do it right now? You gave yourself plenty of time.
Though you still couldn't you function, and couldn't you think. Why the hell was it that you felt like you had no time? Like there was nothing but everything coming at you all at once? Why couldn't you—
"Oi, what's going on?" Zoro appeared by the door, and his voice was firm—steady. His presence was grounding, and it’d been something you’d always loved, but your body strangely hated it in the moment.
You were too lost in it to realize, but Usopp had probably been worried.
He must have told Zoro, because everyone knew he'd been your paper-weight. He kept you together, like a stack of paper, or in other words—aligned control. But, in the moment, you couldn’t understand that, and you’d eventually come to regret it later.
Zoro was tense at your silence, as he wasn’t often familiar with it. He was used to your laughter, and your clumsy remarks, even your stupid comments.
But he knew that wasn’t always you.
You kept yourself together well, until you couldn’t and you hid. He wasn’t an emotional guru or anything, but he’d been attentive enough to pick up on your behaviors.
Especially, when things took a turn for the worse.
He'd easily seen it this morning when you came in for break-fast and left, sparing no good-morning, no sweet smile, no teasing—you were just struggling.
You weren’t acting like you, and he hated it.
Zoro wouldn’t seem the empathetic type, but when it came to the ones he loved—his chest would uncomfortably ache. Especially when it came to you, who held herself so high yet was hurting so much deep down.
The sniper had startled him awake, quickly telling him—or, rather rambling to him, that you weren’t okay. It seemed rather urgent, and he looked offly looked worried, so Zoro obviously wouldn’t set it aside.
If you needed help, or guidance—you just did.
There was no easier way to put it, and it wasn’t embarrassing, it was just life.
And Zoro was never one to bullshit, but you could be sensitive at times. It wasn’t a bad thing, it just made things harder for you.
You could get worked up over the smallest of things, unintentionally snapping—or taking it the wrong way, blocking yourself off…
He’d seen the signs.
He always had.
And this was clearly one of those times, where something had gotten the better of you.
But little did he know, it wasn't just your anger. It wasn’t like the other times, something was painfully different. This was deeper.
Calmly, Zoro spoke your name.
You were quick to snap, but you turned away covering your face. You tried to calm yourself and catch your breath—but yet again, it wasn’t helping.
"Yes, I know, just give me second.” you replied, uncharacteristically hitting your desk. You hands slammed your poor creation, and tears began to well. You were cracking, and more frustration poured.
You snapped again, and a curse flew out your lips as you kicked your desk. It was harsh, and you were sent roughly back against the wall in your chair—creating a slam.
At your action, he knew you were overwhelmed. Hell, he’d felt it as soon as he came in, but as you curled in on yourself—digging your nails, it only confirmed it.
A muffled sob broke through the silence, and he was beside you in seconds.
In two steps, he’d crouched down infront of you.
His calloused hands, prevented you from hurting yourself, though his touch wasn’t rough. It was strong, and it was strong enough to keep you from pushing away or thrashing.
He needed you here, with him, and not lost somewhere else.
"Breathe." he ordered.
"I can’t, just stop, don’t—fucking touch me!” you choked, attempting to squirm, "Zoro stop it.”
Your lover doesn’t break, nor’ does he stop. He only holds you tighter, as if he knows you’ll only spiral further.
Your breath is labored, struggled—and he can already see you slip.
His gaze softens, and he steadily pulls you into his lap. Zoro doesn't comfort you with words, but he does with the way he knows how—his presence.
By being there, holding you—grounding you, tightening his grip as you stubbornly try to push away, he doesn't let go.
He silently urges you to relax; creating absent circles over your back, as his hand tightens at the base of your neck, pushing you easily to his shoulder.
His legs lock to come around your own, pulling, to keep you in.
"Stop fighting me, you'll only make it worse," his voice rumbles over the crown of your head, and you can’t help but feel comforted.
You want to agree, you want to stop, but your body doesn't. It involuntarily moves, and you cry as you push against his chest, growing light-headed.
But the dizziness forces your body to relax.
Your shoulders slack, and you ease. Your eyes flutter shut, and you let out a shaky breath.
"You good, now?" he asks, keeping a gentle grip.
You sniffle, nodding as you can't bare yourself to look up at him. You don't even know what came over you, and you can barely remember what happened.
You feel like an idiot.
Embarrassed, guilty—ashamed, just wrong.
"Yeah, I’m sorry.” you whispered, leaning back.
Though Zoro doesn’t let up, he keeps you in his lap and his hands shift to cradle your face.
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” his thumbs wipes your tears, and you can’t help but lean into them.
“I should’ve come down earlier, I didn’t know you were getting so worked up.”
"It's okay," you mumbled, lowering your gaze, but he tilts you back up.
"____, it's not. You know that, what’s going on?”
"I don't know," you manage out, and his look crushed you.
You know he wants to understand, he always does, the whole crew does, but you’re not even sure yourself. A weight topples over you, and you suddenly remember the way you snapped at Usopp.
Shit. You didn’t mean that—you didn’t mean any of this.
Why weren’t you doing anything right?
"I just, I don’t know.” your voice broke, and you turned away. “I couldn’t stop, it wouldn’t go away.”
"Then, why didn't you come to me?"
"Because, it's too much, everything feels like too much.” you whimpered, covering a hand over your mouth. “I didn’t, I didn’t mean to snap at you—or Usopp. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”
"Hey—stop, look at me." he adjusted you forward, and this time he held your gaze.
His eyes carried a warmth, and it felt like a safety you never had the privilege of experiencing.
"Sorry,” you whispered.
"No. Don’t. Don’t, go apologizing. No one needs that.” Zoro’s hand ran through your hair, and he focused forward. You needed to hear this, and he’d say it over and over until you didn’t.
“You don’t need to apologize for feeling something, no one expects you to be perfect all the time—and I sure as hell don’t give a shit if you snap at shit you didn’t mean.” his lips twitched into a smile, as he remembered a time you cursed at Luffy for grabbing your food.
He liked your unexpected anger, even if it was this.
“The crew sees, I see you. And that’s all that matters.” he murmurs, and he sees you crack a smile.
Good. You needed that.
“You hear me?”
“Yeah, I do.” you sniffled, nodding your head, “loud and clear.”
He let out a breath, “good. Now C’mere.”
Zoro shifted, leaning against the wall to hug you close. He was being soft, and he was being kind.
In his own Zoro, way of course, but he was still there. He always would be.
He cupped the side of your head, letting you bury yourself into the crook of his neck.
Your lover wanted to take away anything that had harmed you, but that took time—and he realized that. But he didn’t mind hugging you a little longer to fix it.
He wasn’t going anywhere, and little did he know, this was all anyone could ask for.
Someone who still loved you at your lowest.
