#oozes

[randomencounters]

Encounter: bisexual pride slime person

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

NOW HIRING: SKELETON INSIDE OF BIG ACIDIC OOZE

Pictured: You! Working in my dungeon!

Job description below the cut. No experience necessary.

Primary duties:

Wait in the ooze for an adventurer to get close, then grab 'em, pull 'em in, and keep them grappled until they're dead either by drowning or dissolved in acid.

Remove debris from the ooze as it picks up random junk.

Deliver adventurer loot to Sorting and Distribution department.

Keep our other fleshy, dissolvable minions out of the ooze.

Secondary Duties:

If the ooze is defeated, finish off the adventurers.

Spot clean the dungeon of any non-decorative corpses and debris.

Light or extinguish any torches / sconces depending on the dungeon section.

Compensation:

Base pay 2 Silver coins per day.

Hazard pay of 0.5 silver coins per adventurer you encounter, up to a max of 8 coins.

Bonus of 30% total networth from adventurers defeated is distributed amongst minions monthly.

2 weeks PTO granted after first 6 months.

Holiday pay for Christmas, Lunar New Year, Summer, and Halloween events.

Free resurrections for slain minions with a free paid day of recovery after.

Final note: if you are hired but not already a skeleton, you will be reimbursed for the skeletonization process after 3 months.

[honourablejester]

I just want to burble a bit about one of my favourite creatures-slash-natural-phenomena from any ttrpg ever: Starfinder’s Plasma Ooze.

This thing. Found on pages 100 and 101 of the Alien Archive 2 book. It is amazing.

Plasma oozes are, essentially, giant electromagnetic space slimes that are usually found inside the surface of stars, but can also be seen hanging around other electromagnetic phenomena in space. They average 20ft across, and eat electricity to heal themselves, and can be a danger to shipping.

So, from a standing start, we have star oozes. This is already incredible. But then we get another couple of tidbits:

There is a lost, absolutely titanic star ooze wandering around hyperspace for the last several centuries. Growing steadily. It either got ripped into hyperspace when a ship activated their Drift engine too close, or possibly plasma oozes, given that they’re electromagnetic, might have an innate ability to access the Drift. Meaning that they might be Drift capable.

And then for a final touch:

There is a group of people out there calling themselves ‘the Sunkillers’ who specialise in hunting plasma oozes. And I’m wondering … Do they know about the Drift ooze? Do they know about the titanic centuries-old mystery ooze in hyperspace? Because there’s a plotline and a half. Do you want to help a gang of dubiously prepared self-titled ‘Sunkillers’ hunt their white whale in the form of a titanic electromagnetic star ooze through the hyperspace dimension? Because you could do that.

This is exactly the sort of ecology and worldbuilding I deeply enjoy in my science fantasy over here.

Also, again, I just really love oozes.

[thebiggestgoblin]

Running an unlicensed slime farm out of my tower, whatever kinda slime you need I got it, i don't deal to anyone under 200. Professionals have standards

[randomitemdrop]

trick or treat!

Item: Key Lime Slime Twinkies

[solariannihil]

punk band mondayzz????

u should. u should listen to The Oozes!! they’re an ✨insanely✨ gay, trans-fronted band from the uk /pos /nf

subgenre: queercore

members: Tom Gilbert (vocals), Ciara Clarke (bass), Cherry Cicely (guitar), Olly Chrich (drums)

song reccs: Blah Blah Blah, Swallow, Bitchboy, Wanker

origins:

- London

- Tom and Ciara have known each other since secondary school

- Tom met Olly and Cherry at college

- Tom posted on insta asking for a bassist and Ciara responded

- Cherry joined the band the day of its debut release

where’s the band’s name from?: from DND (thanks @punk-scum-of-the-earth for telling me!!)

(ig this is an every-other-week kinda thing now cuz my neurodiverse ass forgets nearly every week 😅)

[k4w4iip8p]

Blahhhh blahhhh blahhhhh