#oriented aroace lesbian

[rusababy]

being aroace lesbian is replaying certain parts of a video of a woman focusing on her body/the way she moved because it was satisfying but not clocking that was you being gay because the feeling of liking it was subtle and wasn’t intense or in-your-face as romantic or sexual attraction was described

[rjalker]

[ID: A screenshot of a tweet by sev / solarlesbian that was created on January 28, 2022, and reads, "Oriented aroace lesbian flag, 7 stripe + 5-stripe versions! #lesbitwt". This is followed by two versions each of two flags. The first has seven stripes, the second is a simplified version with five. The first flag's stripes are: Dark berry purple, medium purple, lavender, white, deep seafoam green, teal, and very dark blue. The stripes are labeled with their meaning in the second version, from top to bottom: community, lesbian identity, love for women, wholeness, tertiary attraction, aroace identity, and healing. The second version has dark purple, lavender, white, spruce green, and very dark blue. The stripes are labled, "community, lesbian identity and love for women, wholeness, aroace identity and tertiary attraction, and healing". End ID.]

Link to the original tweet here.

Archived version here.

[pridewishes]

♔ || LILITH CLAWTHORNE ICONS

250x250 || oriented aroace lesbian || bordered circle

like / rb + credit + read dni if using

requested by @transbianlilith !!

[aroaceinneedofspace]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :3

Oh gods, this is a hard one. I am going to try to answer this as accurately as possible, but I am really struggling to find five different things, so sorry if they seem really small and insignificant.

Things that make me happy:

Greek Mythology and just generally analysing its themes and talking about it.

People who are actually willing to listen to me and who don't judge me for being passionate about various interests of mine.

Music! I absolutely love music and it makes me really happy. I also need it to survive and it is really useful in blocking out any kind of noise, on an either physical or mental level.

I don't really have time or the motivation to really read anymore, but reading actually makes me so happy and I love it! I genuinely need to start reading more.

I guess deep discussions make me happy, or those really unhinged conversations where I feel like I can say what I want and possibly be myself, if that even is a thing, without it damaging the relationship and with the other person or people being equally chaotic. With regards to deep discussions, though, I love the feeling of being able to over-analyse something out loud and to have another person's input and perspective, especially if they are the ones who initiated the conversation or made me think about something that had never before occurred to me.

Post Scriptum that I just thought of: Being queer makes me happy, especially when I can mention it to other people and they are also queer or they fully embrace it anyhow, because it means I can make jokes or puns relating to me being an oriented aroace lesbian. The same also goes for when I meet another immigrant and I am able to strongly relate to them.

[ace-thinks]

hi 💕 ive never sent one of these, it might b weird srry. so ive ID'd as aro ace for a while and then earlier this year a dated a girl for a while and then i ID'd as an ace lesbian but we've been broken up for a while now and it's just left me confused. i know that im aesthetically attracted to women, but not in a romantic or sexual way. i just feel like a fake lesbian since I dont want any relationships or anything im just lost idk i was wondering if u or anyone knew something idk

Hi! This isn’t weird at all - I’m really glad you reached out! 

First and foremost, I just want to stress the idea that you can identify however you want. It’s your identity. So if you feel most comfortable identifying as an ace lesbian then you can absolutely do that. You’re not “fake” at all. You’re just being you.

Second, you can still be an ace lesbian (or straight or bi or anything) even if you don’t want a relationship or sex. There are plenty of people in the world who are don’t ever want to be in relationships but still ID as straight, bi, etc. 

Okay, now lets talk about two concepts within the aroace community that are at least somewhat related to what you’re talking about.

_______

Oriented Aroace

“[Oriented aroaces] experience attraction that’s neither romantic nor sexual, but is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation.” -- coined by biaroace

That attraction can be sensual, aesthetic, alterous, or anything else. Usually oriented aroaces seek non-sexual and non-romantic relationships with their preferred sex/gender, but not always.

If you feel like the aesthetic attraction that you feel towards women is significant enough to warrant a label outside of your aroace identity, then consider looking into this.

Some oriented aroace blogs that I follow are biaroace, xweetara, aroacelesbian, the-gays-took-my-coffee, ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity, ornery-oriented-for-positivity.

Electio Aroace

“Electio aroace: a person who feels no attraction whatsoever but has sexual/romantic relationships anyway.” -- coined by electioaroace

This one might not work for you as well since it’s for aroaces who explicitly seek sexual/romantic relationships, but I thought I’d include it here anyway just to show how diverse the aroace community is.

There’s also angled aroace which you can read more about here.

_______

There are plenty of people who identify as aroace and still claim a third identity for whatever reason. 

For some people, it’s a way to let others know that even though they’re aroace, they’re still interested in having some sort of committed relationship with a specific gender/sex.

For others, it’s meant to help themselves understand the way their attraction works in relation to their aroaceness.

For you, I would recommend thinking about what your reason is. When you call yourself an ace lesbian, what are you trying to express/do?

Despite not wanting a relationship, do you still want people to know that you feel a special connection/attraction to women that you don’t feel towards anyone else?

Is it a way for you to reflect the fact that you’ve been in a relationship with a girl in the past?

Is it for a hypothetical relationship in the future? A way for you to leave the door cracked in case the “right girl” comes along?

After thinking about your reason, you might realize that there’s a better way to express what you’re trying to express. You might find that there actually really isn’t a reason to include “lesbian” in your identity. 

Or you might find that ace lesbian is actually the perfect way to express how you feel.

________

Think about those things and maybe explore the different identities and communities I listed (you might find a bunch of people who feel just like you do).

This was a lot, but I hope some of it helps. Good luck!

[aroaesflags]

I messed around with some overlays and this lesbian flag and made some combo flags

NB Lesbian | Ace Lesbian | Aro Lesbian

Trans Lesbian | Oriented Aroace Lesbian | Aroace Lesbian

[rusababy]

I convinced myself for a long time that i was okay with sexual acts just so i could feel somewhat included in lesbian conversations as an aroace lesbian. i love cuddling, and yet i feel as if it’s not talked about in the same way that that sex is. sex really just in all communities and situations gets this “special, so life-changing that’s it’s now mundane and just apart of life but still sacred” kind of reverence that other things just kinda. dont. it’s like all things are connected to sex in some way. do people find beauty in my love, or am i inferior?

[rusababy]

I want a woman to make me feel safe.

I want her to hold me close

to her soft breasts

as if i were safe.

I want to be kissed

on the forehead

and pecked on the lips

as reassurance that I am safe,

and I want to rest in her arms

against her soft body

in my bed at night till morning

to be completely sure

that I am safe.

*please tag with black queer, black lesbian and or black aroace please! thank you much <3