𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 𑣲⋆
to be loved gently and genuinely was something you always wanted. despite the messy reality you have, osamu miya is always there to wipe the tears in your eyes.
this fic is inspired by the drama "first frost", but there's still some originality to it. also it's kind of long LOL but i didn't want it to be in many parts. enjoy :)
notes : mentions of neglect, r4pe, and overall negative family experiences
hyogo was beautiful. the peace, serenity and quietness was everything you needed. walking as the sun set gave you a sense of comfort, slowly dissolving your the burden you carried. as the bright sign, "onigiri miya" came into your view, you stepped into the restaurant, smiling at your boyfriend who was drying the dishes.
"hi love, how was work?"
you sat on the seat across his open kitchen, putting your bag down on the seat beside you. "it was okay, the same as usual." you tiredly replied, eyes lighting up as soon as you saw the onigiri in front of you.
osamu always loved the spark in your eyes as soon as he hands you his handmade onigiris. he knew it was something that always gave you a sense of home and love, letting you know that there's someone you could come back to everyday. he cherishes the time that he has with you every night after closing his restaurant before the both of you head home together, allowing him to calm down in your presence alone after a long day.
"i'm going to head to the room at the back to handle some paperwork for the restaurant. it's not going to take long, maybe 20 minutes at most."
you nod, and watched as he smiled and patted your head. you smiled in return, watching him disappear from your sight as he entered the room. you continue to eat your onigiri, scrolling on your phone until you sensed a figure lurking outside the restaurant. as you turned back, your eyes widened, hearing your heart starting to thump faster against your chest. he entered the restaurant, looking around before smiling at you.
"why those eyes? i haven't seen you in awhile and yet you seem hesitant to see me."
you stood up, looking down at the floor as you steadied yourself. after leaving tokyo for hyogo, you thought that you had left your past behind. no more hurt, trauma and anxiety from everything you had with your family. yet, your uncle shows up in front of you 5 years after your departure, allowing the memories to flood your mind again.
"why are you here." was all you could mutter out. you could feel your hands trembling as he walked closer to you.
7 years ago
your parents along with your auntie and uncle were celebrating your brother's birthday at home. you stayed in your room doing your work, knowing that there was no place for you in the family. you tried to drown yourself with the music playing in your earphones from the happy conversations and implied insults against you by your father that was happening in the living room, though you were numb internally.
"we were planning to go to the mall to let (b/n) choose his gift. do the both of you want to come along? otherwise you could stay here until we return." you heard your mom ask your relatives.
the door closed, but you heard someone still shuffling around in the house. as the footsteps get closer to your room, you saw your uncle peeking into your room.
"doing work?"
"yup." you gave him a slight smile, looking at him from the corner of your eye.
"okay." he replied, closing the door behind him.
he slowly walked closer to you, looking at what you were working on. your heart rate quickened, sensing something wrong as he stood behind your chair and placed his hands on the table, caging you.
"you doing okay? need help?"
"no, not really." you replied coldly, eyes frantically wondering around at your worksheet as you tried to think of ways to get out of your situation. however, your uncle slowly inched his face nearer to yours, whispering explicit things in your ears.
"you look so pretty."
"stop doing your work and have some fun with me, yeah?"
holding your pen, you had the idea to stab him in the eye and flee in desperation. you internally counted down, preparing yourself.
3...2...1
you swung your pen back, aiming at his eyes. however, he caught your arm, pulling you towards him.
"you can't escape now."
in the present
"i missed you, that's all. can't i visit my favourite niece?" he replied, looking down at you.
"i don't want to see you. get out, before i call the police." you muttered, finally looking up at him which sent shivers down your spine. how did he even find you?
"is this how you treat your uncle after 5 years? this is seriously disa-"
"who are you and what are you doing in my restaurant?" you looked back, seeing osamu storm towards you. you finally let out a relieved sigh, realising that you were holding your breath out of anxiousness.
"nothing. i'm her uncle, and i just saw my niece in the restaurant and decided to say hi. am i right?" he replied, looking at you expectantly.
"yeah. he's my uncle." you added, smiling at osamu. you can't make him worried. you can't involve him in your mess.
"well, i'll be going now, it was nice seeing you again, y/n." your uncle smiled, walking out of the restaurant. your hands continued to tremble as the memories resurfaced.
"hey, are you okay? you seem shocked." you snapped back to the present, looking at osamu who was beside you, cupping your face in his hands gently. you gave him a small smile, bringing his hands down from your face for you to hold.
"yeah. i'm okay."
at home
osamu looked out from the toilet, seeing you sleep on your shared bed. you had showered and changed into his hoodie and sweatpants, snoring softly on the bed.
after he finished washing up, he walked towards you, squatting down beside the bed. he looked at your face, eyes brimming with tears as you slept. he swept stray hairs away from your cheeks and the tears in your eyes, and gave you a kiss on your forehead.
why do you always look so sad ?
he knew that you were going through something rough, since you both became friends after meeting at a event, but you always kept your problems to yourself. he didn't blame you as well, knowing that it takes time for you to open up. he could see your efforts to become vulnerable, but he always sensed something deeper, a burden that was heavy.
i hope you know that i wipe tears from your eyes every time you sleep.
a few weeks later
you walked into onigiri miya, the familiar space comforting you. you placed your bag on the seat next to where you were seated, which was in front of the open kitchen.
"eat well love. you look exhausted today." osamu commented, patting your head. you gave a small smile, and slowly dug in. the familiar taste always made you feel safe and at peace, like a reminder that he was nearby.
"by the way, t'sumu and 3 other friends of his are coming over in an hour. their practice ends late today and everything is closed, so i offered to let them eat at my restaurant after closing." osamu said, drying the dishes in front of him before placing them back into the cabinets in the kitchen.
"sure 'samu, i'll just finish my work while waiting for you and the guys to be done."
you and osamu chatted as you ate your dinner. from work related issues to topics like the movie that was coming soon at a nearby theatre, these moments made you feel present in the moment. you always thanked osamu for letting you listen more than talk as you weren't the most talkative person, making the atmosphere feel less awkward. however, as you chatted, a loud bang from the main door of the restaurant opening made the both of you snap your heads towards the door in sync.
"what is your problem? i can't believe you'd hate us so much and end up in another city!"
your face turned pale. how did your parents find you in hyogo? was it uncle?
both you and osamu stood up, looking at your parents in front of the both of you. he wasn't sure who they were, but he could infer that they were someone you didn't want to be around.
"mom, dad. how did you find me?" you asked.
slap.
"what do you mean "how did we find you"? the both of us texted you for the past week and we didn't get any news back! just because we let you move out and stay at hyogo doesn't mean you forget about your family!" your dad shouted hysterically. you cupped your cheek as it stung from the slap, head low. osamu immediately held you, making sure you were fine.
"please leave my restau-"
"i didn't reply because you were asking me for money. money for (b/n) to get his own house. do i look like a slave to you?" you replied, eyes brimming with tears. you could feel yourself exploding internally.
"how can you talk to your parents like this? you have no manners at all!"
"i never had parents! you both only cared for (b/n)! you only had him as a child and never stopped to think of me!" you cried out, tears falling as you shouted.
"we cared enough for you! look at you now, working and earning good money, having a stable life! why can't you help your family?" your mother retorted, pushing your chest roughly.
you had enough of them. you thought that you could push down the trauma and hurt you felt after moving out, but something in you knew that they were going to come back and haunt you once more.
is this how you want to continue living?
"does "caring enough" mean making me eat my meals at a separate table from the family, forgetting to rescue me along with my brother when our house caught on fire when i was 8, and not believing me when i said uncle assaulted me? because i really don't think that's how parents should treat their children." you shouted back, leaving them speechless.
osamu couldn't believe what he was hearing now. his heart broke for you, listening to how much you suffered in your early years. it all made sense to him now - the look on your face when you saw your uncle again, avoiding the topic about your family, and always crying in your sleep.
i can't believe you carried this heavy of a burden alone.
"but we still raised you! you're seriously so ungrateful! i don't see why you shouldn't help your dear brother, who's struggling-"
"struggling?" you said, not believing what your mother was saying, "he's older than me! you both paid for his university tuition, while i had to fork out money to take the university entrance exam because it was a waste of money to the both of you! if anything, he should be doing better!"
you were getting sick of this. you couldn't handle them anymore, and wanted to just crawl into a hole and cry. why couldn't you have a loving family like everyone else? why is this reality yours to handle?
"if you really want my money so much, then take it," you said, taking the wallet from your pocket and handing a card to them. "there's 20,000 in this card. take it to gamble, spend, or help my brother. its up to you. but after this, you're no longer my parents, and i won't contact you anymore."
osamu looked at you, eyes widening. he wanted to stop you from giving your hard earned money, but the desperation in your eyes made him choose not to interfere.
"fine! if that's what you want, then you're not my daughter anymore! i don't want to be associated with someone who's so selfish anyways." your father retorted, your mother nodding beside him and snatching the card from your hands. they stormed out of the restaurant, slamming the door behind them.
as they slowly went out of view, you held your face in your hands, sitting on the chair behind you. you cried your heart out while osamu hugged you, hiding you in his chest.
his heart was fuming. because of your family, because of your uncle. he could've caught him and have him arrested if he knew about your situation sooner, but he couldn't blame you for keeping this to yourself.
you're heart is too kind. why do you always put yourself last?
the door to onigiri miya opened once more, but softer this time. you could hear atsumu's voice, along with 3 other friends. you just wanted to hide in osamu's presence and bask in his comfort.
"WE'RE HERE OSAMU! we're all hungry from practice, could ya' make our order quick?" atsumu announced, but quickly went quiet, along with his friends, from the sight in front of them.
"i'll rest in the room at the back. don't worry about me." you broke away from osamu's hug, and quickly retreated as you wiped your tears.
"did we interrupt something? if something came up we could-"
"sorry. give me awhile."
back at home
you were brushing your teeth in the toilet, getting ready for bed. your eyes were painted red, a reminder of what happened earlier.
"hey love, can we talk?" osamu asked, standing behind you, "i know it was tense just now, and you may not want to talk about it, but i'm really worried."
you turned to face osamu, gently nodding your head. he held your hand as the both of you walked back to bed, sitting at the edge of it. osamu kept his arm around your waist, letting you know that he was right here, with you.
"my family always loved my brother more. they thought that he was more capable, and because i'm a daughter, i can't bring back much to this family as compared to him," you started, fiddling with your fingers. "they didn't let me sit with them at meals, and i could only eat when they had leftovers. they didn't provide me with allowance, i had to find jobs to provide for myself."
"my grandmother was good to me. she gave me a small bit of allowance every month, and was always there by my side. but when she passed, i felt like my whole world was gone." you could feel tears brimming in your eyes. osamu held your waist tighter, hoping it brought you comfort. "there was no one to love me right anymore. and so, i had to endure the pain alone."
you continued, "i remember during applications for the university entrance exam, i was arguing with my father about it. he didn't want to waste the money on me because he thought i wouldn't do well. i had to beg him in front of the teacher to let me take it, but he wouldn't budge on his decision. i had to fork out the money on my own."
"and the incident with my uncle i..." you couldn't talk anymore. the memories were resurfacing, your vision blurry. but you kept osamu in the dark for 2 years since you both started dating, and he deserved to know.
"i was doing work in my room. my parents went out with my brother and my auntie, and he was in my house with me. i wasn't aware, until he came into my room. he whispered disgusting things in my ear, and when i tried to escape, he held me and then started to..." you confessed, tears flowing uncontrollably. osamu hugged you, patting your head as you talked.
it pained him seeing you so hurt. he was angry at himself for not noticing enough, angry at your family, and mostly angry at your uncle. how could someone treat a pure, gentle and kind soul like this?
"i just want to be loved gently. i didn't want this reality. every time i see happy families out spending time together, i wondered why it couldn't have been me. am i really undeserving of love?"
osamu held you tightly as you wept. he wanted you to know that you were loved, especially by him. he wished he knew you sooner, so that you wouldn't have to go through it alone. he promised himself that if he ever saw your uncle again, he would take matters into his own hands.
that night, never-ending flow of tears decorated your face as you slept, with osamu by your side to wipe them.
a week later
osamu was closing up his shop, cleaning up his space as well as the tables. it was a long work day, with more customers than usual. he kept your share in a container for your dinner, making sure it was still warm enough by the time you arrived. after, he took the trash out, throwing it in the big bin by the alley next to his restaurant.
as he walked back, he saw a familiar figure lurking near his restaurant. he walked closer to have a look, and realised who was in front of him.
your uncle.
osamu stormed towards him, giving him a strong punch to his cheek.
"what's your probl-"
osamu punched again. he promised himself that he would take matters into his own hands, and now that your uncle was right in front of him, he isn't going to miss the opportunity.
"what's wrong with you? assulting y/n then coming back to hurt her again?" osamu retorted, punching him once more. your uncle then held osamu by his shirt, then punching him back in return.
"you're not as strong as i thought. how could someone like you be her boyfrien-" your uncle smirked, but was punched by osamu again.
as the both of them fought, a crowd had form near. "someone call the police now, he's guilty of assault!" osamu announced loudly, with murmurs around him. eventually, he heard someone calling, and did his best to hold your uncle down before the police arrived.
as you approached onigiri miya, you saw the crowd around the shop, with police cars nearby. you quickened your pace, curious to know what was going on. as you walked into the crowd to see what was going on, you saw osamu holding your uncle down while the police rushed to help him.
"osamu!" you shouted. his face was bruised, with blood coming from his nose. you rushed to his side as the police escorted your uncle into the car. the crowd started to disperse as your uncle was escorted away, leaving you and osamu alone. you quickly guided him into the restaurant.
tears fell as you tended to his wound. you didn't want him to get into your mess. but yet, he did without hesitation.
"why did you have to help me? why couldn't you just let it be? i didn't want you to be tangled into my mess, and now you're hurt because of me." you cried, holding his hands. he squeezed yours in return, offering you a smile.
"i didn't want you to suffer alone, or suffer anymore. you matter the most to me, no matter whether i get hurt or not." he answered, standing up to hug you. you cried against his chest, holding his shirt tightly.
how did i end up with a guy like you?
"i'm not deserving of you. i'm sorry. i really am." you said, looking at him with teary eyes. he cupped your face in his hands, kissing you on the lips.
"you deserve love the most."
5 days later
everything was settling down. your uncle was sent to prison, which made you feel more at ease. your family also blocked you, and kept their promise to not contact you again. your spark came back, and you felt happier, especially with osamu by your side.
"go to sleep love, it's late." osamu said as he kissed your head, hugging you close to him. you kissed him on the lips before nuzzling in his neck, basking in his warmth as you drift off.
and while osamu looked at your pretty face as you slept,
he realised that your tears don't fall as you sleep anymore.
this was a little sad to write ;') if you're going through anything, always reach out to someone you trust, or hotlines that can help, and make sure to put yourself first !!
