#osdd1 b

[the-blackberry-system]

hey, does anyone else experience this?

so, we have (suspected) OSDD1-b. that being said, we don’t experience complete memory loss between alters. however, we DO experience emotional amnesia. for those who don’t know, that would be the emotional detachment from memories in which someone else is fronting. so like, i remember that Kay made some posts last night, but those memories don’t feel like mine at all. it feels more like something i saw on TV or read in a book, not like something i experienced.

anyway, with all that background knowledge, i’ve found that the emotional amnesia makes remembering things... harder? like the memory is sometimes in there, but it’s hard to remember it... that makes no sense. ok wait--

so you know when you have a song stuck in your head? and you know that it’s a song you’ve listened to before, and you know that the title of the song is in your brain somewhere. but you can’t quite remember it. you know you know the title, but you can’t quite remember it right now.

that’s what happens to us, i’ve found, at least to me. when i don’t have emotional connections to those memories, i find it’s easier to lose hold of them. like, the memory is still there, if i sat down for a few minutes and tried to grab it i probably would be able to. but it’s very difficult. i find the less communication i have with whoever was fronting, the harder it is to regain those memories.

anyway, i was just wondering if any other systems experience stuff like this

[unlikelytidalwavewa]

D-nial

Me rn… I guess x)

[the-blackberry-system]

Local ghost finally learns how to walk!

That's right! When I first split off, I couldn't use the body's legs at all! I float around in the innerworld and I don't really have proper legs, so I never felt connected to the legs on the body.

But, with some time and a lot of practice, I can walk now! I can even run and skip! (Although I'm still working on that last one!)

I suppose walking is something a lot of people do without thinking, and maybe take for granted, so this may not seem like a big deal. But learning to walk without struggling is truly a big step for me! (No pun intended!)

So even if it seems like nothing to you, I'm proud that I can walk! (And my lovely system is as well!!!)

[the-blackberry-system]

Some info abt us :)

Made originally by Kay on 7-4-20

We are a suspected OSDD1-b system from the USA (EST).

Here is a list of all of our alters under the cut (as of 7-4-20):

Meesh

Human, All pronouns

Meesh is the main long term host of the system, as well as the “original”/”core”, for those who believe in that concept. We don’t reveal too much info about Meesh’s identity because they identify entirely with the body, and we feel that may be a bit too dangerous

Rebecca

Human, She/Her, 24 years old

Becca was the primary protector of the system. She is currently dormant, and is “dead” in the inner world

Aimy

Human, She/Her, 16 years old

Aimy is the inner helper/caretaker of the system. She helps take care of the littles

James

Neko (Part human, part cat), He/Him, Age slider (4-8 years old)

James is a little in the system. He helps bring happiness and carefree-ness to the system that we didn’t get as a little kid

Harper

Human, She/Her, 4 years old

Harper is a little and a trauma holder in the system. She is a very sweet but very scared girl

Jules

Human, She/Her, 20-something years old

Jules is a protector and a gatekeeper of the system. She used to be a persecutor, and is now one of our strongest protectors. She now helps regulate fronting and memory access

Ollie Dean

Human ghost, She/They, Ageless

Ollie doesn’t have a role in the system that we have a name for. They help the system by being easy to pull to the front (It’s very interesting, they can be summoned like in a ghost story), thus helping us all to get out of uncomfortable situations and making sure that there is always someone in the body

Evelyn

Human, She/Her, 9 years old

Evelyn is a little in the system. She helps take care of the other, younger littles, as well as bringing general positivity to our pessimistic system

Kim

Android, She/They, Ageless

Kim is a protector of the system. She has settings that make her robotic and nearly emotionless, thus allowing her to handle emotionally draining situations

Kay

Human, He/Him, 14 years old

That’s me. I’m a co-host of the system. I help take on daily life so that Meesh doesn’t get too overwhelmed

Anyway, I just felt like making this little reference sheet to all of us :)

**Note: We do not let our littles on Tumblr, for obvious reasons (Although I think one of them made a post once... Not sure what’s up with that). However, they can answer questions/asks/whatever they’re called, although they will be answering through an older alter such as myself :)

~ K

[the-blackberry-system]

((tw tr-uma and ab-se mention))

ok so

i just want to say (mostly for myself i guess, but for every system who needs to hear it)

systems who aren’t ab-se victims are valid. your trauma is valid. it isn’t “not that bad” because it wasn’t ab-se. you aren’t faking because it wasn’t ab-se.

ok? trauma is anything your brain was overwhelmed by and did not have the ability to cope with. you are valid and i love you :)

maybe i’m the only one who needs to hear this, but if anyone else does, here it is :)

[the-blackberry-system]

Making ramen for the littles so they can front and enjoy some food :)

- Aimy

[the-blackberry-system]

some days having a system is just crying, flashbacks, dissociation, and pain. but other days, it’s more like someone coming close to the front and causing the body to sing hatsune miku songs on repeat for no goddamn reason

- meesh

[the-blackberry-system]

I want a boyfriend.

Or even just a close bro.

But especially a boyfriend.

And it really hurts to know that I’ll probably never have that. Because I’m in a system. And everything’s harder when you’re in a system.

I just want someone to know me and care about me for who I am. Not for who anyone else in this damn body is. I want to be me. And I want to be loved as me.

But I have to pretend to be the host. I have to live someone else’s life. And that someone has a girlfriend. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a boyfriend for myself.

~ K