I was pulled into a rabbit hole of contemplations when I saw a picture of a woman I once knew and thought of as naturally beautiful and who had played a strangely unpalatable role in the fringes of my life.
Ever since choosing to travel, delve into spirituality and utilize it for deeper self and shadow work a decade ago I have been investing little interest and money in my outward appearance. Focusing mainly on beautifying the internal aspects of my being which I had been neglecting for decades.
I simply have not spent regularly hundreds or thousands of Euros on cosmetics, treatments, botox, plastic surgery, hair salons, etc. Not because there is anything wrong with any of that but because my awareness and attention were fully focused and engrossed in other dimensions of my human experience.
What you see is what nature and my ancestors handed me and the expression of the life I have lived so far. I am thankfully in awe of it all, regardless of how my face or body measure up to external beauty definitions. My body has been a profound guru- dispeller of darkness- in my experience and I surrender gladly to her teachings on beauty, balance, energy and self mastery.
When stumbling on a couple of pictures of aforementioned woman on Facebook, I was in shock to see how harsh, tired, and old her face looks now. Her being one of the women who define their value by their outer appearance and other ego-driven status ideas, I would have expected all the focus, intention, and money spent on the upkeep would have created a different outcome.
I looked at my own face in the mirror and was surprised at the considerable difference between us- and this on a day where I felt exceptionally unkempt and 'grey.' To say my ego was pleased to no end after all the stuff she had been inventing and gossiping about me would be a stark understatement. Yeah, my ego is definitely alive and vocal.
But the greater part of me was baffled into reflection about unconscious assumptions which had made for this surprise. And I began contemplating what constitutes the difference in aging, observing and contemplating how friends of different mindsets, nationalities, complexions and lifestyles have aged so far.
And, maybe it is my bias, yet I feel that the ones I cherish, those whose life has a focus on growth and qualities of being have a radiance, youthfulness, aliveness and beauty which transcends lines, grey hairs and wrinkles and gives them a depth of beauty and aura of wisdom which shines regardless of their level of dress up or makeup. While others who I had perceived as naturally beautiful and expected to look equally beautiful as we age started showing unattractive character traits in lines and wrinkles that marred their beauty.
I wonder could it be that age 'unmasks' the qualities of our subconscious or shadow by making them visible in our faces?
Does it take more than 'make sure you smile more than you frown' to have a face telling a beautiful story of this self?
Food for more contemplations and observations.
I always wanted to end up having one of the beautiful faces elders in my native country of Ethiopia have, faces which express a depth of dignity, wisdom, kindness, warmth and compassion. A face that tells a story of a life lived well in the face of challenges and hardships and a heart blossomed into a timeless beauty of being through experience and consciousness.
Only time will tell how my being and experiences will shape this face of mine.
So far I can only be grateful and in awe of what my ancestors gifted me and Self keeps shaping on this wondersome path of mine.
Photography:
I. Toposa Tribe woman, Omo Valley/ Ethiopia by Eric Lafforgue
II. Tigray woman, Mekele/ Ethiopia by Eric Lafforgue
III. Amhara woman, Lalibela/Ethiopia by Jeremie Labbe