May 16
Outlander + The Onion Headlines (1/?)
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Outlander + The Onion Headlines (1/?)
An accurate depiction of how I’ve been handling 2020 so far...
New Crack Fic? Sure...
I don’t know what to tell y’all about this one. So I’m just not going to preface this...
This story fills my @outlanderbingo2020 square Courting/Courtship Rituals (card below the cut)
Title: Tokens of My Affection Rated: T (there’s some language) Pairing: Gen? Kinda? The relationships aren’t really the focus, though Jamie/Claire and Jamie/John (unrequited) are both there. Notes: THIS IS CRACK Summary: A witch has turned Lord John Grey into a cat and Jamie Fraser has adopted him. Now Grey must find a way to communicate with his friend. Excerpt:
As if nonconsensual transfiguration into an adorable housecat wasn’t bad enough, Jamie had presented him as a gift to Claire and named him Adso. Grey had protested mightily, but then she had cuddled him and proclaimed him sweet and let him sleep on her pillow. Well. At least it was a comfortable pillow, even if he had to share it with Jamie’s wife. A loud rumble startled Grey and he looked up, through the dark. He could go curl up next to Jamie. If he purred, perhaps rubbed his face against the huge man’s cheek, he might let Grey cuddle up under his chin.
Pull yourself together, man, Grey told himself firmly. Sleep on the bloody pillow and in the morning you can figure out a way to communicate with Jamie and enlist his help.
Read Tokens of My Affection on AO3.
PLOT TWIST!
How the finale should have gone 👌🏼😂
Jamie Fraser’s life in a nutshell:
Swiss Family Fraser
Just something silly that popped into my head, and I thought I’d share.
Jamie and Claire are picking out the house site on Fraser's Ridge:
_____
Claire: Oh! Jamie, I’ve just have a brainwave.
Jamie: Like a wave on the sea, or wavin’ yer hand?
Claire: What? Oh. Neither. I mean I’ve had an idea. A brilliant idea.
Jamie: Well why did ye no say so right out? What are ye goin’ on about waves fer?
Claire: Oh bloody… never mind. You’ll only think I’m mad anyway.
Jamie: Ah, I’m sorry lass, truly. I was teasin’ ye a wee bit. Tell me yer brilliant idea.
Claire: Well… you really will think me a bit mad, and remember it’s only an idea, you don’t actually need to do it. It’s just, it could be really fun.
Jamie: Fun, hmm? Is it going to hurt?
Claire: Why would it hurt?
Jamie: Ye’ve got the same ‘fun’ look in yer eye as when ye got out yet wee jabbers to stab me in the arse in the name of preventative healing. Wi’ yer penny-cillan. It wasna so fun for me, I recall.
Claire: You deserved it.
Jamie: I deserved — !
Claire: Two words. Laogh-aire.
Jamie: That’s one…
Claire: Anyway, it’s nothing like that. It’s something out of a book - you haven’t read it, it hasn’t been written yet, not for another forty or so years, but in it there’s this family and they’re shipwrecked on a deserted island and they build a tree house to live in. It’s called Swiss Family Robinson. Oh and they have ostrich races too, which is a bit odd, but does lend a sense of adventure to the story…
Jamie: Sassenach, what — what’s the fun part that sounds mad? D'ye want to race ostriches? Aren’t they the giant birds from Africa ye told me about? Ye saw them when you rode the elephant? Do they have them here too? Where?! Do they bite? Or kick? Wait. Can ye eat them?
Claire: Jamie! I do not want to race bloody ostriches. I want a tree house.
Jamie: A tree house? A wee one for birds or squirrels? Or ostriches? Why?
Claire: No, a full size one, for people. If we are building a cabin anyway, I just thought it might be fun to put it up in the trees. Think of the view!
Jamie: Ye want to live in a tree?
Claire: I told you you’d think I was mad. You have to admit though, it does sound like fun.
Jamie: But Sassenach… we’re no' even Swiss…
Several months later:
Jamie: Watch yer footing as ye go up the ladder, hold on to the rail, and mind yer head on the trap door. Jest push it, push it up, no harder, hard— aye, and it clips back…
Claire: Oh Jamie..!
Jamie's saying of "What the Devil?" is the 21st century equivalent of "What the fuck?" to me
This is all I can see from this clip...