This is what my Black woman VP boss said to a queer Black gender non-conforming person. #😳 And let's get it out of the way, the whyte liberal would have a hair-trigger response and spout something to the effect of, you're being too sensitive. But am I?
Two-thousand fourteen was the last job in corporate America that I worked at, and yes I don't have to do any complex math because that is ten years ago. I was over-qualified for the position and paid at least sixty percent less than my standard rate. I remember clearly a twenty-something fellow employee asking me how I had accomplished something that was obviously eluding him when my current tasks were his responsibility. I said I talked to people and we came up with a solution to the backlog.
Part of being too grown and too experienced, is that folks who are twice your junior take much longer to execute and figure out challenges, which are somewhat effortless for you. Per my standing preference I didn't work more than forty hours and performed a job that was over a month behind deadlines and got it all cleared up in less than ten days. #NotABadBitchJustDamnedGood
But my approach wasn't what the youthful employees had done before, I got up from behind my computer, left my desk and went to go see people, my 'clients' as we called them. I am a great believer in face-time and the importance of looking folks in the eye, listening the timber of their voice, and noticing their body language. All of these are a part of the emotional intelligence I have developed while working in whyte corporate America, I use my natural empathy in a way that probably isn't prescribed or best practice, but it ultimately gets the job done, efficiently and quickly.
But I do not look like everyone else in corporate America, and mind you this particular company was quite Black and also queer, I may have been a note too fabulous for this space, albeit it was in essence a creative space. This is part of my becoming more myself as I mature, I remain unapologetic in my approach to the world, how I present myself and this was reflected in my daily fashion which spoke to my unique voice as much as anything.
I don't think anything I wore was outlandish or even unprofessional in a business casual office where some folks would literally wear shorts and t-shirts to work everyday. I had one of my clients say to me after I was told her I couldn't see her any more because of my excessive visibility, was that she enjoyed seeing what I was wearing everyday and our brief check-ins, she felt she knew exactly where we stood on any particular project that we were working on and it left her free to focus on other real issues.
The thing I loved about this very whyte, heteromantic and patriarchal world was that unlike my past in the non-profit sector I was paid a more than livable wage, and I was able to usually utilize my mind, not my body to do my work. My real question is, what does it matter what I wear if I satisfactorily execute my job responsibilities? I will never get an answer to that question, so it will remain rhetorical.
I recall my working at one place maybe not even two weeks when the boss there seemed to admire my freelance mentality and quit. We had previously talked about how I like the off-and-on of contract work, I'd work a couple of months in one place and then take a trip to South America for a month, or three months somewhere else and go to Africa for ten days. The gigs were short enough for me to stay pleasant all throughout because my time was only temporary. Clearly she was sold and wanted to make a lifestyle change herself. #WasThatMyFault?
Looking back on all of this and where I am now I have no regrets, the next time I would be employed would be twenty-twenty, six year later, hundreds if not thousands of emails sent out, dozens of interviews, but not one closing. I wasn't as young as I used to be, quite a few positions I was also over-qualified for even with trimming my resume considerable to appear 'younger', but I think I had become TOO BLACK, TOO QUEER and TOO GENDER NON-CONFORMING. I refused to dim my light or alter my behavior to make whyte people more comfortable with my very overt Africaness, and I was unapologetic about it all.
Today I live off the interest from my investments, I wear what I want, I sleep as late as I please, and my days are filled with the thing I want to do and the folks I want to fuck with, and I needn't attempt to diminish myself in any way to conform to anyones anything. No one should have to change themselves to be suitable to work, if they have the education, experience and abilities. Folk should be hired on their merits and the fact that they can execute the job, not by how comfortable or uncomfortable they make you, or if they know your friends little friend. Nepotism has become the law of the land if you want to work in this country, and I am so pleased its a practice I don't have to fuck with anymore.
the weird ideology exists that I want to work and be reliable and shit, and I can provide references and detailed credentials but.....
its still not enough to guarantee a shity job.
and if I wasn’t inclined toward bleeding all over the damn place with the gentle touch of water, I’d work with food. I can cook.
If you don’t tip me I’mma gonna bleed all over your sandwich
But you also won’t get hired cause you’re ‘too qualified’ whatever the flying duck that means.
“I’m sorry, sir. You’re too qualified to get paid minimum wage and get no benefits, you scare us. We’re terrified you might scribe some long winded article about our business practices, and we can’t have that.”
I really hate dating nowadays...because it's really not dating. It's more of a situationship. People like each other. People enjoy each others company. People are attracted to one another...but no one wants to make it serious. Everyone is afraid of being hurt or tied down. Case in point....had an amazing date last nite. He took me to dinner at this lil hole in the wall Mexican restaurant and we went and seen the new Star Wars. He was a gentleman. Held the door for me. Paid for everything. Held my hand...etc. we have great chemistry and all that jazz but guess what...he doesn't want anything serious right now. He got out of a long relationship about 6 months ago... I've been single for 2 years now....I am ready for a boyfriend! But instead of pursuing this I get to play the game of idk what we are but we are seeing each other I guess? Ugh! I never ever ever would have thought dating would be so damn complicated when I was younger. He wants to see where things go and he said he wants to see me again soon. So there is hope. But my stupid girl brain...and my anxieties make this soooo hard. Cuz I'm all like I'm a good girl with my head on straight. I have a college degree. My own place. Good job. Car. No kids. I can make a home I can cook and I'm a beast in the bedroom....some days I feel like I'm just over qualified... :-( But really tho.... I hope things go somewhere with this guy. I have no other choice but to be patient and see what happens. Just scared...I'm so tired of putting time and energy into potential relationships and ending up with a broken heart.
Hour-to-hour I have a pretty low opinion of myself but then as soon as I get turned down by a job I'm like, "but I went to college and I've read all the Goosebumps books and I can open a Starburst with my tongue"
Well i guess i decided to start a "blog" considering i went through the trouble of creating this thing. Mind you it consumed a whole 10 minutes of my time that i could have put forth towards watch Grounded for Life on Netflix. Hopefully someone will end up reading this damn thing to reassure myself that the trouble i went through to find a user name was worth my time. Anyway basically i decided that this was a good idea when i realized how pathetic and awkward my life was. PERFECT RIGHT? Also i have come to the conclusion that I am ridiculously funny and way over qualified. This started when i told my best friend that i wanted to move to NYC with her and work at Buzzfeed. So i typed up a really legit resume which consisted of this:
Resume:
Picking out office supplies.
Organizing office supplies.
Identifying smells in the workplace.
Entertainer, magician, dancer, comedian, model, And beautician.
Overqualified in small talk.
Professional in stranger danger.
Certified babysitter.
So ya just like PDF that and hand it in.
Clearly i am ready for the work place and will be there in no time!
