#overextending

[urlovelover]

why try to please people when people can never be pleasedddddd

choose you, be freeeeee 🪽

[tea-time-terrier]

Sometimes she just gets a little longer during stand stays.

[amber-writhing]

Just a normal lazy day yknow

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One simply drawn comic per day

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(Click here to Start at the beginning)

[fangirlstarot]

TEN OF WANDS: THE PLAYLIST

Overextending. Burdens. Struggle.

1. Burden Down - Jennifer Hudson 2. Take A Break - Hamilton Soundtrack 3. Weight Of The World - Young Guns 4. Overthinking, Overextending - Sybyr 5. Heavy Load - Free 6. Under Pressure - Queen 7. Doing Too Much - Paula De Anda Ft. Baby Bash 8. Heavy Is The Weight - Memphis May Fire Ft. Andy Mineo 9. Overworked And Underpaid - Quiet Riot 10. Weight Of The World - Self Deception 11. Heavy - Collective Soul 12. Mo' Money Mo' Problems - Biggie Smalls & P Diddy. 13. Heavy - Linkin Park Ft. Kiiara 14. Workaholic - D Russell America 15. Heavy - Kiana Ledé 16. I Can't Carry This Anymore - Anson Seabra 17. Workaholic Vicious - Kicks 18. Responsibilities - K.A.A.N. 19. She's A Single Mother - Highway 211 Band 20. Overworked And Underpaid - Homage

[mbti-notes]

I'm isfj. I read your posts on helping and they're v helpful. Made me realize I'm not clear on what the person is asking vs what I think they need(?). E.g. a friend says they are just speaking thoughts aloud, but my Fe senses that they need reassurance/comfort, so I offer that and it helped. Coz of times like this when it really 'worked', I am confused about when I should follow their requests and when I should follow Fe instinct. Leads me to overextend myself sometimes

There seem to be two separate issues here: 1) your ability to help, and 2) you “overextending” yourself.

1) Helping people is an art, not a science. There are no hard rules that will always lead you to success. Every person has their own unique set of needs, which means that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to helping everyone (see the Caring for Emotional Needs article for understanding type-related needs). Using Fe well means being attuned to a person’s feelings and emotional needs. However, you’re not telepathic. You can’t know for sure what is happening in someone else’s mind. People often don’t even know what they themselves need, especially when stressed, so how are you supposed to “just know” for them? That’s why communication is very important. If you feel as though a person needs comfort, then give comfort. If your instinct was wrong, the other person will soon let you know one way or another. If you’re using Fe well, you’ll know when you’ve made a misstep through the disharmony, and then adjust or switch tracks accordingly. Fe means being accommodative and understanding such that the relationship can weather all the little ups and downs. But don’t forget that you are a part of the relationship and also deserve understanding. When you make an honest mistake in your effort to help, are you able to be understanding of your own shortcomings, forgive yourself, and move forward? If you are, then your question is moot, because people make mistakes, and it’s fine. In fact, you can and should use these mistakes to make the relationship better, because they are good opportunities to obtain more detailed knowledge about what someone really needs. In other words, accept these sorts of mistakes as the cost of getting to know each other better.

2) What do you mean by “overextending” yourself? You mean pressing too hard on someone’s boundaries, aka “overstepping”? You mean trying to help too much at the expense of your own feelings, aka “overextending”? Overstepping once is an honest mistake, but keep doing it and there’s something wrong, because you’re not respecting that person’s boundaries, which means that they will be less and less open to your help as they close themselves off to your “intrusions”. Overextending is a bad personal habit. To resolve it, you need to pay more attention to yourself and your own needs, so that you don’t sacrifice too much. 

[missingthemarkawesomely]

Thought….

I think infjs have a bad habit of overextending Fe as a defense mechanism, afraid to even let our own needs have a chance of being met.

We’re used to the pain of one-sided relationships. So we create excuses for why its ok for them to happen. By “meeting everyone else’s needs” we create the false assumption that it’s ok for our own needs to be met.

Or just to completely forget what our own needs are.

[krirebr]

Someone needs to tell me that in addition to all the drabbles and asks and whatnot that I'm planning to do this week, I don’t also need to update one of my series before the end of the year.

My goodness, calm down, Kris.

[alexspicey]

Overexposed CAM by @pax.themxse 9/30 30430 #overprotecting #overextending #overcompensating https://www.instagram.com/p/CMObTCGnrYH/?igshid=p3etldnpie0a