#panic attack mention tw

[selfship-confession-void]

Was starting to have a bad panic attack where drinking cold water and counting things around me didn't help. But listening to my F/O's audios (boyfriend audio series) legitimately calmed me down. Triggered the calm and safety chemicals in my brain.

-

[lovenpeace-pkmn]

Had a panic attack today because a Hydreigon looked at me wrong 👍👍👍

[incaensio]

setting : district thirteen infirmary, around six or seven am in the fourth day after the arena blew up. with : gale hawthorne (cameos by primrose, rory and posy bc that matters 2 me) @mxllitiam

at some point, she realizes she has been placed in a singles room. apparently, this is a great privilege — mockingjay privileges, she almost rolls her eyes at that — but as the drugs begin to wean out — something lilian has extensively argued about, apparently, as her mother should outrank a vanishing mentor's advice — katniss realizes she doesn't like it at all. in a way, she's grateful about the privacy from other people's eyes and judgment, but someone at the door keeps calling primrose to go help in the actual infirmary and katniss begins to feel bad about keeping her there, holding her hand, all the time (nevermind that if she's in such close supervision, she can't find a way out. and that's the biggest concealed concern whenever she hears the doors swoosh).

they let her out. it's not truly a permanent discharge yet, but it's her first attempt of life in four days and it's not like she can viciously attack anyone when she needs prim's arm around her so her legs won't give in as she walks. they go through the levels together, accompanied by a soldier that gives her a look as she begins stepping more firmly, and prim's fingers intertwined with her own instead of holding onto the eldest's waist. thirteen is underground. another time, this idea would have made her cower and have a panic attack, but what's another one? she can merely look up, and then down, and watch as the rooms are organized, as she listens about the seventy-five years district thirteen hid as cockroaches while all of panem suffered (if her time drugged out of her mind didn't define her hatred for thirteen, this does).

eventually, they make it back to the hospital. the walk had brought life to her — strengthened her legs after days without use for them, brought a pink tint to her cheeks, a constant beading of sweat to her forehead and a small shortness of breath to her chest — but she feels herself faltering as she approaches. everyone who had been hurt by her and was still alive was here. she wants to go to her own room, blame it on the fact that her serum drip is finally over, but she hears a squeaky, familiar voice call her name and she freezes. "katniss!" screams the seven year old hawthorne, wiggling away from one of her brother's hands to hug the victor. at times, katniss would pick her up — even if, at seven, posy already carried the tall genes from the hawthornes that made her too tall and lanky to be carried — but after days, her arms are too weak and she struggles even to crouch down. 

she does bring a hand to the girl's dark curls, feeling her eyes swell with tears; she contains them as she sees posy is crying, however. "hey, little blossom." katniss greets her. "don't cry." it feels hollow when she wants to cry, too. "hey, rory." the hawthorne brother approaches easily; she realizes him and prim have gotten even closer throughout the past year, but she prefers not to point out (or think about) in what way. she looks around them, and sees familiar faces. a family from the seam smiles at her, and a single pair of siblings from town are quiet, but they look her way too. twelve recognizes twelve, but this is no matter of pride when she's the one who doomed them, and they probably know it. she looks away, and feels prim's eyes have joined everyone else's upon her; they haven't talked about it at all, lest katniss have another attack, but seeing the few people around from what had been her home is worse.

then she hears someone that is even more familiar, and the sorrow is too suffocated by shock and relief that she can not feel it. katniss pulls away from prim and lets go of posy, using the renewed strength from her legs to throw herself on gale's arms. "you're alive!" the tears she held back now fall freely. she had thought him doomed, between the capitol or the ashes of twelve, but he's alive. he's here. "how did you- were you in twelve?!" hadn't they last met in the capitol? the memories of that are too unpleasant for her to linger on, not right now, not when he's the last man she ever loved that still breathes.

[mar64ds]

I was in the middle of a panic attack so I started thinking about how oswald and ortensia could have met because they make me happy and are therapeutic couple :)

[its-mellohi]

c!sam getting angry and yelling at c!tommy for helping ghostbur calm down from a panic attack by counting to ten.. dhmu this is a c!sam hate account now /hj

[brandstifter-sys]

Yucky

Word Count: 1043. (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warnings: self-doubt, post panic attack, post break-up, getting back together, fluff

Remus feels yucky after the wedding, and apparently so does Virgil. At least they're not alone, just lonely.

---

Yucky days happen. Remus knew that well. He had no energy, no drive, and his intrusive thoughts were much darker and more potent than usual. He just wanted to curl up in a ball with a bunch of blankets and a teddy bear and watch The Secret of NIMH and cry. Too bad that wasn't happening.

He appeared in the lower common area, hoping that with Janus dealing with the wedding aftermath, he would have the place to himself. But the emo spread out on the couch, watching the Nightmare Before Christmas, threw a wrench in his plan.

"Hey, didn't expect you to be out here after that trainwreck," Virgil greeted him and paused the movie to get a better look at him. Remus winced at the thought that entered his head.

"Hey, V. Didn't expect you to be here and spread for me," Remus chuckled with no real energy. Virgil sat up immediately and took in the duke's appearance. He was exhausted and dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Something wasn't right.

"You good?"

"I could be worse. I can go if you want to be alone."

"You can stay," Virgil said and scooted over, giving him some space to flop down. Remus plopped down next to him and curled into himself. He could keep the ice from filling his veins if he held onto his body heat.

"I guess it got to you too, huh?" Virgil said as he selected another movie. Remus looked at him and pouted. Virgil's eyes were red, his eyeshadow was smudged and runny, and his arms were shaking.

"You came down here to hide," Remus muttered to himself. Virgil nodded and waited to start the movie.

"Can't let Thomas have a panic attack during his friends' wedding. So I came here instead of staying upstairs. I guess I should've expected you'd be out of it too, considering—"

"Please don't remind me. I'm not sure if I can handle Thomas' mental health breakdown and that."

"You wanna talk about it? Or do you want some creature contact?" Virgil asked, looking at him with a gentle gaze that made his heart melt. Remus scooted closer and flopped on Virgil's lap.

"Have I always unsettled you? Beyond bothering Thomas with the thoughts?" he questioned and hid his face in Virgil's tummy. Virgil sighed and ran his fingers through Remus' hair.

"Yeah, you really unsettled me for a long time, but not because I thought you were the worst possible side to exist or some kind of monster," he answered carefully, "But because I kinda always knew my mental state directly influences you. You're a sign when I'm going too far and that's kinda the last thing I want to do. Out of sight out of mind, more or less."

"Is that why you broke up with me before you left?" Remus grumbled. He didn't want to ask that question, but it was plaguing him and he had a limited filter. By the way Virgil's fingers curled against his scalp, Remus knew that he wasn't the only one who didn't want to go this route.

"No, it wasn't because of that, or you really. I was stupid, I wanted Thomas to like me and when I got the chance, I decided to cut all ties so he would have no reason to dislike me. I regret it but I can't really undo the past. And I've been a dick so I pretty much ruined everything, with everyone," Virgil admitted sadly and stopped petting Remus.

"Don't stop," Remus pleaded and peeked up at him, "Please. I need creature contact and I don't want to ask for more than pets." He shivered and hid his face again, breathing in Virgil's familiar scent.

Virge smiled sadly and physically moved Remus to sit on his lap. Remus squeaked and clung to Virgil's neck, earning a weak chuckle from the emo.

"Is this okay?"

"It would be better if you still loved me but yeah," Remus grumbled and pressed his side closer to his living furnace. Virgil sighed softly and kissed his head.

"I still do," he breathed, "Who could blame me when you're so incredible."

"I know I have good in me, but the ickiest stuff is loud. It's so loud, like Nic Cage in Wickerman loud. Please just cuddle and movie, no more talking," Remus said and leaned his head on Virgil's shoulder.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Only if you're my boyfriend or higher," Remus said with a shrug. He was pleasantly surprised to find Virgil gently guiding his chin to look him in the eyes.

"I can be that. If you want me to."

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah," Virgil said with a blush, "I missed you, Pup. And I know I'm not the best choice for you after how I've been acting—"

"Don't talk bad about my boyfriend," Remus huffed and pecked his cheek, "I don't need any more fuel for the thoughts."

Virge smiled and summoned a blanket, wrapping it around the both of them. He hugged Remus and placed a kiss on his nose. Remus giggled and cuddled closer.

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Sure," Virge said and pressed play. Remus knew that music. He glanced at the TV and saw a decrepit old hand lighting a candle. He couldn't believe it.

"How did you know?"

"Because I know how to help you feel better on bad days, like a good boyfriend," Virgil jeered and kissed his forehead, "And this time I won't let you down."

"You never did, you were just having a bad day."

Virgil kissed his cheek and nuzzled him. Remus melted into the contact and sighed contentedly.

"Good thing you know how to make me feel better, Puppy," he teased and peppered his boyfriend's face with kisses. Remus giggled and basked in the affection, not flinching or moving in any way that would make Virgil's anxiety take over.

"Scare away all the intrusive thoughts and be my teddy bear, and I can make you feel better than better," Remus countered and kissed his cheek in retaliation, "I missed my Scare Bear."

"I missed you too, Pup. And happy anniversary, if it still counts as our anniversary."

"It does. Now less talking, more cuddles and NIHM."

[mcnstercus]

closed starter - alex & mariza ( @immcrtalsx )

Alex laid down on the couch, putting his head in Mariza’s lap. He was quiet for a bit. He was struggling with a lot since seeing his father, the panic he experienced that night not quite going away. “I saw my father,” he said quietly, “and had a real bad panic attack.”

[ginnyren]

- for @slayersinclair​

- on the 25th of april 2021 

- at the boat on the thames 

Ginny, as a rule, does not keep grudges. What is a grudge but an attachment by another name? What is a grudge but another connection tying you down some place? Weighing you down? Ginny has lived her life as a dragonfly, as a hummingbird, as a shark. No family, no friends, and never any connections. But now Death had broken all her rules, has sunk them like dead stones to the bottom of the thames. Now, Ginny has a lover she cannot seem to shake. Now, Ginny has friends she thinks she loves. Now, Ginny has enemies for whom she holds a grudge like a poisoned blade in her stomach. Kitty Mallick. Rafael Femenias. Is Ginny cruel? Is she evil? She wants them to suffer so much that sometimes at night she cannot breathe, her breath coming out of her hot and fast. Am I dying? She’d wondered and the internet had said no. This is a panic attack. 

Now though, Ginny does not feel panic. Ginny feels a soft and insistent anger rumbling in the pit of her. She feels the chill of the wind off the thames as she climbs onto the deck of the boat to find Buffy. Two is better than one. Or so the lesson of Death goes. There is strength in numbers. Ginny needed a partner in vengeance and Buffy was the first person who swam into her mind. Buffy, who’s face darkens every time someone mentions Famine. Buffy who is so different now from who she used to be when her sister was still alive. Ginny wonders if Famine was the culprit. If that is why Buffy hates them so. 

Buffy is already there as Ginny arrives. Ginny pulls her coat tighter around her as she joins Buffy at the railing. She forgets, momentarily about her shoulder and winces at the pain. “Hello,” Ginny starts. She’s looking out at the london cityscape and wondering in which hole Kitty Mallick is hiding in. “I heard you’ve got it out for Famine.” Ginny turns to gauge Buffy’s expression. “I’ve recently come to dislike a certain princess of famine and I was wondering if you might be interested in helping me ruin her life.”