#parental stuff

[lookninjas]

Didn't actually want a text from my mom saying "Hey, I'm unusually tired tonight; if you don't hear from me by noon tomorrow, check on me." Not feeling super great about the fact that she hasn't responded since or answered her phone (even though she's probably just turned in for the night). Feeling like this isn't going to do anything good for the anxiety in my system right now.

[xanadontit]

Man it would be great if one of the nine (yes, NINE) therapists I contacted ever got back to me because hoooomygod do I have some stuff to discuss and parse out.

[thewastelandbluebird]

I'm broken

In season 4 of american horror story Jimmy (Evan peters) is shouting at Del (I think that was his name) and wants to hear him confess about him being his dad saying things like “I know, I could tell from the way my mom hated you, I just want you to hear you say it, you’re my dad! Please just say it, say that you're my dad.” I just imagined that in the X-men universe with Peter (Evan peters) shouting that at Erick and now I’m dead inside. 👌🏻

[musicafreaksicko]

I will die your daughter

[whichstaresback]

Both of them need therapy and a list of rhetorical fallacies with explanations in their native language

[marblealphabetsoup]

Papertrails

A few days ago my family and I were going over some financial stuff.

There was a scholarship application. It wanted me to write a few things, which I did, but the whole time my mum was having me edit it.

Both my parents majored in communications and have had experience in that field for years so I trust their judgement, but...

The main thing she was having me censor was my connection to the LGBTQIA+ community. Still write about my experience, the people I made friends with, the people I tried to help, just not that I was also someone affected.

She didn't want me to give the main institution any other name (which I've made a compromise with via a nickname) when I originally applied, I've noticed now how when I'm in her house she makes me change parts of my outfit before I leave, she brings a lot of emphasis to how I'm supposed to be in a way I'm sure is meant to be loving.

A few days before that there was an instance where someone else got to do something that she chides me for doing all the time and she called it "love." I asked why when I didn't it wasn't love and she told me, "You're not a [opposite of gender assigned at birth]."

While writing the prompt, I ripped off the band-aid and asked her why she didn't want me talking about my full experience.

"The world's not as accepting as you think it is. I'm protecting you."

I know it's not accepting. That's why there's so much emphasis on making it more accepting, right?

I think I understand where she's coming from. One of her best friends growing up was someone who was gay. She's probably see first hand how they treated him and doesn't want that for me. He died when she was still a teenager during the aids crisis.

She doesn't want me to leave a papertrail for someone to find and use against me. It's not just queer stuff either.

My whole life I've been told, "Don't give people ammunition."

Be incredibly careful about what you say, who will hear/see it, leave few records, don't make any art that could be misinterpreted as a cry for help...

oh my god...

And... and then I made it my personal rule to not post my face anywhere online. My friends are frustrated because I dance around stuff instead of actually talking about it. And I'm doing this because there's no one I can talk to...

therapy has always been a really taboo subject in my family's house

therapy leaves a papertrail...

I probably shouldn't even be doing this. I need to make sure this account stays separate.

I don't want to hide forever, but she's also right I could be self sabotaging myself in ways I don't even realize yet.

If all of these disappear one day this is why.

...

I don't know what to believe.

[sparrowsingsstories]

At an Animation and Game Design presentation for the Bear Child and I am just so proud of her!

[iby-dysphoria-queen]

does anyone know what to say to my mother so she doesn't shut down anything feminine i want to do by saying that it's too provocative (even something like using words associated with my gender or wearing a crop top) and stop pretending that she is doing it for my own good, and stop her saying stupid shit like she has trauma bc a man that she knew and was kinda an asshole liked to wear her girlfriends bra (not joking she genuinely uses that as an excuse to be transphobic) not being able to present like I want to is my leading cause of dysphoria and I cry every time I think of this

Alternatively how could I emotionally blackmail her to support me