me: What have I done. A year. I don't know the customs of this country.
best friend: You will learn everything there. It's a challenge, and it's a cool one.
me: I don't speak this language! I won't always be able to avoid contact with alcohol and cigarettes! I won't be able to say no to every damn party! How shall I come home after?!
me: They just told us how hard it is to be blonde in Latin America!
me: I am BLONDE! I am TALL! I am BLUE-EYED! I will be an alien! Plus, I have short hair!
best friend: You will survive.
me: You're not allowed to throw toilet paper into the toilet.
me: Probably no warm water. Never wear your clothes more than once. Never ask direct questions. How?!
me: I'm going to Chile! How cool is that!
me: Wait. I'll have to watch Mockingjay Part Two in Spanish. KILL ME!
best friend: ............... WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT?!