I was always the “good girl” paying attention to studies. I am thankful for the privilege I have of great education but there was something unfulfilled that then I used food to fill myself up. 💫 The goal was always to lose weight, be healthy and thin but don’t be sexy because you’ll get into trouble if you are too much. That comes with you compensating for others sense of awareness. Some of this was my personal interpretation from my own fears that suited my ‘why bother’, ‘whats the point’ comfort phrases and a bunch of it was collective systemic beliefs imposed on me as a society. I learned to embody the frequency of a typical old woman so as to keep it down. 💫 Of course all this made me very angry but I never had the capacity to articulate until I learned to be woke and exercise my free will with ability to respond independently through all 4 levels of #pauseinjoy program. All that unexplained rage required bottomless sweeties to keep myself pretend sweet good girl and sugarcoat the resentment and bitterness resulting from not feeling aligned with my true authentic self. 💫 This black and white pic is symbolic of the black and white clarity I have developed to know who I am on a continued basis. #pauseinjoy #pauseinjoywithpatti @pauseinjoywithpatti #pauseinjoywithsoffeah #wild #free #love #iam (at Beverly Hills, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnKg9umHKlX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zsg9nac3aop0