#pd things

[tixdixl]

10? :D

Thank you for this!

10: Something that gives me gender euphoria

So... funny story.... This is something I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of experiencing as a direct result of one of my mental disorders.

I typically don't talk about this publicly because I usually am met with ableism and vitriol, but my chronic depersonalization really impedes on my overall sense of self and as a result, I can tell you what's wrong (dysphoria) but nothing ever feels correct, because that would require me to have a sense that the me I see every day isn't wrong.

The intersectionality of neurodiversity and gender is something I think we often avoid talking about but definitely should talk about it more to normalize discussions like this, and normalize that it's okay to not experience something... but I'll get off my soap box.

Sorry - I'm sure this was not the answer you were looking for, nor the answer you were expecting. Thank you for asking though!

Prompt

[thecandyispoisoned]

Am I the only one who often feels like people tend to want to befriend anyone with a stigmatized disorder because they want to seem "cool" or because they think we're an accessory to their "aesthetic?"

I've had people shamelessly tell me that having a personality disorder is "cool" and then when I show negative symptoms according to them I'm suddenly a monster.

Dunno, that's just my experience.

[tixdixl]

Sorry need to get this out somewhere...

How do I explain in words that I'm so ashamed of my own brain and how it functions and why it does what it does? I can literally dissociate and have an out of body experience where I watch myself doing the thing I do that everyone hates or that bothers and upsets everyone and yet I can't turn it off. I try. I literally try to do the thing I'm supposed to do and it won't stop doing the thing.

And so even when the other person tells me they understand and its fine, and I know to trust them at their word and trust they are being honest with me? I am still ashamed of the fact that I did it again. Even if Im doing it because they asked me to unmask, if I unmask I can't stop it. I can't turn it off. I wish I could just turn it off. I wish that I could physically force myself to stop.

What I wouldn't do to be in the shoes of someone who is NT or ND in a way that was accepted and had more accessible accommodations...

[zoewashburne]

Your Pushing Daisies tags just made my NIGHT

I am so sorry you've got covid! (And your period on TOP of it, where is the justice, nature) I hope you get better soon and it's just a mild case!! 💜

ohhh 🥺 glad to hear that! they were one hundred percent from the heart

and thanks so much… yeah the combo truly SUCKS ngl but i appreciate your get well wishes and hope someone up there’s listening haha 💙

[zoewashburne]

I just started watching Pushing Daisies and I forgot who I followed that made me aware of the show in the first place. I realized today that it was you! Thank you so much, I love this show!

yeah pushing daisies is FINALLY getting the rennaisance it deserves now that it's on hbo max, and i am so glad you're watching ❤ (but ngl i am even more glad i was the one to first introduce you to the show, it's literally my sole mission in life)

[zoewashburne]

Just when I think I can't adore your blog any more than I already do, I discover that you love Pushing Daisies. It's such a beautiful, clever, insightful, unique, life-affirming gem of a show!

i’m glad we agree :’) nothing will ever be quite like pushing daisies tbh