#pengun

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

[magicalshopping]

♡ Penguin Shorts ♡

[sirunicorn-art]

[beezeeart]

The penguin sewing pattern is now live! Find it at www.BeeZeeArt.com

[linkandorf]

The P Gang is here! I have a pretty big amount of P characters, but 10 is enough for now. Parencil and Pyroclastyke have appeared on this blog before. I wonder how many people would even remember those two.

(It may not look like it here, but Pollut is actually very big. Not the size of an actual factory, but still pretty dang big. Around the size of an elephant I think)

((Peril Portrait was a design I made for Inktober in 2017. I liked it enough (alongside a few other Inktober designs) to integrate it in with the rest of my large cast of characters.))

(((Polestar’s name is a reference to Paula Polestar from Earthbound. That might be obvious.)))

((((Princice is an undead princess made from an unfortunate individual frozen in ice. That’s not too morbid, right?))))

(((((Pupsprink is a slab of dirt. That’s all. :))))))

((((((Parencil’s pencil parasol is functional as a writing utensil. It’s also functional for blocking out the sun.))))))

(((((((Pengun has a seemingly endless supply of beaks to shoot out, so don’t worry if they lose one.)))))))

((((((((Pyroclastyke’s volcano is around the size of a basketball, so don’t picture them as an actual giant volcano. That’s where the ‘tyke’ part of ‘Pyroclastyke’ comes in.))))))))

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

What the Gotham Rogues smell like

Scarecrow: Haystacks and for some reason, horse shit

Riddler: Like a virgin

Killer Croc: Sewage

Two-Face: Burnt toast

Penguin: Ten day old fish left out in the sun

Mad Hatter: like that creepy old man at a nursing home who gropes the butts of the workers

Catwoman: Cat piss and tuna

Poison Ivy: Fresh cut grass

Harley Quinn:  Bubblegum

The Joker: latex balloons and acid

Mr. Freeze: Mint chocolate chip ice cream and sadness

Firefly: A camp fire followed by the faint scene of weed

Man-Bat: he smells damp. like...wet dog

Clayface: like clay. what else did you expect?

Bane: Sweat. Lots of sweat.

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

The Batman Rogues as John Mulaney Quotes

Scarecrow: When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian-American, and the biggest problem with that is that I’m not Asian-American.

Riddler: College was like a four year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me” or “Do I just Need to go to sleep?”

Killer Croc: "Midget is just as bad as the n-word!" First of all, no. No, it's not. Do you know how I know it's not? Because we're saying the word 'midget,' and we're not even saying what the n-word is. If you're debating the badness of two words, and you won't even say one of them, that's the worse word.

Two-Face: What was murder investigation like in 1935? “Detective we found a pool of the killer’s blood.” “Mmmm gross....mop it up! Now back to my lunch.”

Penguin: Here’s how easy it was to get away with crime in the 30s. As long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.

Mad Hatter: 13 year olds are the meanest people in the wold. Because 8th graders will make fun of you in an accurate way. They will get to the thing you don’t like about you. They don’t even have to look at you for long. They’ll be like “Hey look at that high-wasted man, he got feminine hips”

Catwoman: I look back on being 17 and think, “Oh my God, how did I not die?”

Poison Ivy:  You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Harley Quinn:  Walking home I once saw a wheelchair knocked over on it’s side. That is such a sad thing to see because something happened there. You hope it was a miracle, but probably not. Probably something worse then a miracle happened there.

The Joker: It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy should change and become political due to other things. It should just laugh at that cosmic joke that life is all the time.

Mr. Freeze:  The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Firefly: I have a girlfriend now. Which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for the past 28 years.

Man-Bat: You could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.

Clayface: I quit drinking because I used to drink too much, then I would black out and I would “ruin parties”

Bane: You don’t always get to see the things you pay to see. Ever been to the goddamn zoo? Those things are never where they’re supposed to be! Every time I go to the zoo I’m like, “Hey, where’s the jaguar?’” and the zoo guy is like, “Uhh, he must be in the inside part.” The inside part? Tell him we’re here.

[sirunicorn-art]