#persecutor rant

[mckennasdid]

"Persecutor alters are evil and should be ostracized/locked away😡" dawg just give me my reese's puffs cereal PLEASE and I promise I turn into a nicer person😫

[mckennasdid]

Ever feel like you need to throw up black vile because of all the emotions you carry?

[mckennasdid]

I don't feel like a persecutor all the time. Maybe I'm more of a protector than a persecutor. I know others in my system sees me as a persecutor because of my actions.

Sometimes I just feel like a person. A person that has her own complexities. A person that's not just a role. A person that feels anything and everything. There's no way an alter or part is "just a protector" or "just a persecutor". I feel so much more outside of that, and it feels great. To not be defined by a title. To hell with "system roles" and their stereotypes, fuck that shit, man. I love just being me. I love being all of me. I only really call myself as a persecutor/protector to make it easier to find people similar to me in some way online and because of how others see me. I'm not even "like that" in terms of a persecutor, really. Sure I have my moments, but who doesn't when you experience most of the BPD symptoms the brain has. I'm just complex, I myself am multi-faceted.

[mckennasdid]

"There needs to be a reason or a trigger for a switch"

no because why am I always out in the mornings? I hate getting up, getting ready for work, I complain about having to eat, about personal hygiene. I just want to sleep in. I need the other sisters to assist me at times. Sometimes, we think, all 3 of us are out in the mornings just for "routine" or because our brain is used to us being out at the start of the day.

If there is a reason or trigger as to why I'm out in the mornings, please let me know.

[chaotic-fluffle]

violent rant-ish cw!!!

me staring like :3 after I grab a brick and pummel every illiterate pedo-encouraging moron into a pulp of bone and flesh.

woahh oh no I didn't do that whaaat

no but really. I will. I would. if I met any of them face to face. they wouldn't wanna be rq anymore ❤️

— idk. might be Carrion. probably.

[chaotic-fluffle]

I hate external people sooo much. not even joking anymore. not laughing.

thank you for CONSTANTLY reminding us that you think you did nothing wrong. you say you think you didn't traumatize us and yet a suffer the consequences from ecactly that.

always bringing down the mood. making syskids flee from front with harsh words and tones. why wouldn't I hate you?

you make our life worse. why else would we hide from your presence? awaiting your slumber to finally roam?

no 'father' should act like you.

you have always been a problem.

/nbh & /dir at our biological 'father'.

—Blurry.

[answering-h1s-calling]

The thought of us getting better and living happily GENUINELY makes me sick to the gut. It's so much better watching us spiral. I miss the abuse, at least we had PURPOSE back then. But THIS? God.. it's like I'm the only one who knows how to live properly in this fuckass sys. 🪓💕

[mckennasdid]

He knows we're in love with him. He knows we want more. He still keeps us around and makes us feel special, but the most we can be is "girlfriend-ish"♥️.

How unfair.