#persecutor vent

[mckennasdid]

"Persecutor alters are evil and should be ostracized/locked away😡" dawg just give me my reese's puffs cereal PLEASE and I promise I turn into a nicer person😫

[burningsolarsystem]

*t's n*t f**r. * h*v* s*ch str*no *p*n**ns th*t * w*nt t* sh**t *nd p*st, b*t h*st w*n't l*t * b*c**s* h*st d**sn't w*nt t* b* r*d* *nd w*nts t* k**p th*s bl*g "*ncl*s*v*" *v*n t* p**pl* *nd c*mm*n*t**s m*st *f *s d*n't s*pp*rt. * w*nt t* t*k* * st*nc* *n s*sc**rs*, * w*nt t* t*ll th*s* * d*sp*s* t* f*ck *ff *nd t* n*t *nt*r*ct. * w*nt t* b* r*d*, t* cl**m * st*nc*s. B*t h*st *s t** m*ch *f * p**pl* pl**s*ng c*w*rd *bss*d w*th p**c* k**p*ng *nd pl***ng "d*v*l's *dv*c*t*". Gr*w * sp*n*. B* *xcl*s*v*. F*rm *n *ct**l DN* *nst**d *f n*t c*r*ng, *r pr*t*nd*ng n*t t* c*r*. F*ck*ng s*n*l*ss c*w*rd.

-Tr*gg*r

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Oh, geez. Will do my best to translate.

Translation:

It's not fair. I have such strong opinions that I want to shout and post, but host won't let I because host doesn't want to be rude and wants keep this blog "inclusive" even to people and communities most of us don't support. I want to take a stance in syscourse, I want to tell those I despise to fuck off and to not interact. I want to be rude, to claim stances. But host is too much of a people pleasing coward obsessed with peace keeping and playing "devil's advocate". Grow a spine. Be exclusive. Form an actual DNI instead of not caring, or pretending not to care. Fucking spineless coward.

-Trigger

(Funny how this is the post that *t is allowed to make. Allowed to hate on the host, but can't post hate about anyone else. Says a lot about that bitch (endearing) doesn't it?)

[horse-v-eva]

WHY CANT WE B NORMAL

NORMAL BRAIN

NORMAL HANDS

NORMAL BODY

NORMAL CHILDHOOD

NORMAL PSYCHE

NORMAL EVERYTHING

NORMAL SOMETHING

-RK

[mckennasdid]

Ever feel like you need to throw up black vile because of all the emotions you carry?

[mckennasdid]

Being the heart (and persecutor/protector) of the system includes

•intense emotions

•being akin to fire

•having a destructive view of love

•being called a "firecracker" by a therapist

•having a free spirit personality

•being able to love and be loved by many

•(but also) being hated by many

•craving burning passions with someone

•being able to turn ice cold

•destructive (maladaptive) behaviors

-

[mckennasdid]

I don't feel like a persecutor all the time. Maybe I'm more of a protector than a persecutor. I know others in my system sees me as a persecutor because of my actions.

Sometimes I just feel like a person. A person that has her own complexities. A person that's not just a role. A person that feels anything and everything. There's no way an alter or part is "just a protector" or "just a persecutor". I feel so much more outside of that, and it feels great. To not be defined by a title. To hell with "system roles" and their stereotypes, fuck that shit, man. I love just being me. I love being all of me. I only really call myself as a persecutor/protector to make it easier to find people similar to me in some way online and because of how others see me. I'm not even "like that" in terms of a persecutor, really. Sure I have my moments, but who doesn't when you experience most of the BPD symptoms the brain has. I'm just complex, I myself am multi-faceted.

[mckennasdid]

"There needs to be a reason or a trigger for a switch"

no because why am I always out in the mornings? I hate getting up, getting ready for work, I complain about having to eat, about personal hygiene. I just want to sleep in. I need the other sisters to assist me at times. Sometimes, we think, all 3 of us are out in the mornings just for "routine" or because our brain is used to us being out at the start of the day.

If there is a reason or trigger as to why I'm out in the mornings, please let me know.

[spectorsearchblog]

Im so tired of being fucking strong. Im tired of being a persecutor. Im tired of trying to protect this system. Im tired of trying to help others and not getting what i want so desperately. I love my partners. They love me. They care for me. But i want someone whos never around..and im so fucking tired. I want to go to bed. Forrever. Im so tired.