Day 3 of my personal retreat was all about getting back to my creativity. When I was a kid, I used to draw, paint, and craft. I got supplies at Hobby Lobby and made a bunch of those feather pens from Clueless and sold them at school. I even took custom orders. I loved assembling little gift bags. When Victoria’s Secret used to have that zodiac line of perfumes, they had pens with perfume-scented ink - I was ALIVE finding my friends’ signs and putting them with love in their Christmas goody bags - that has carried through to adulthood in curating the ILLEST party favor bags for my daughters’ parties - and when I have the capacity, sending goody bags to friends for milestone birthdays.
I lost the drawing/painting/crafting as I entered young adulthood but picked up writing in the form of blogging - and met several people who I consider close friends til this day. Then I lost that too. I picked up nature, landscape, and abstract/macro photography subconsciously, though I wouldn’t recognize it until years later.
This past summer, I thought I wanted to make jewelry. I always have these very specific ideas of what I want in my head. I got a jewelry-making book and as I flipped through the pages of get these wires and those clips and deez crimps, I was like mm, no. This has been a “problem” (it’s not really a problem) with me and creative things - I typically have big ideas but I don’t like the execution, the making, the supplies, the process, the small things. I’m a curator and big idea generator by nature, and there is a place for curators; I just have to find my specific place.
After throwing the jewelry-making book to the flames, I took a few different “What kind of creator are you” quizzes (I love a quiz) and they all pointed to poetry/writer. That was odd to me because while I really do enjoy a good poem and creative literature, I’ve never been that kind of writer. Well what better time than #TheseTroublingTimes amirite. I found a writing prompt challenge, grabbed 1 of my approximately 970 billion unused journals (you know it’s hard to resist a pretty journal cover) and started writing. I got to Day 11 or so and was like, I don’t like this. So I literally wrote in the journal “This writing challenge has been helpful in identifying the types of writing I do and don’t like, and I don’t like this.” For posterity and record-keeping, and the anthropologists who unearth the journal 500 years later. I gave up on writing.
In the meantime, professional DJs and photographers had been telling me I had an ear for curating music and for photography. I started making little music vignettes on my Youtube channel of a theme or mood and songs that fit that and flow well with each other. It’s often 3-5 songs that really partner well together. That has been pretty rewarding and I’ll likely start posting on here. I wouldn’t mind a really niche DJ gig so when the world gets vaccinated, I’ll explore that further. I started saving my nature photography into a separate digital album. Then I finally took the leap and bought A Real Camera. It should be in the mail any day. I would eventually love to do photo art prints in different sizes and when I really advance my skills, get into mixed-media and mixed-medium art. For that part, my goal is to be in a museum one day. I’ve never spoken or typed that out loud. There it is. I’ll start with a photography Instagram page that will call back to a former blog title soon, and painting, stealing my daughters materials when I can.
You know I had to take a few What Kind of Photographer Are You quizzes and I kept getting street/fashion photography, which I’m not actually interested in. I had Glowing Color going for a while as a creative outlet, but monetizing it turned it into a burden for me. I probably will incorporate my eye for color into photography under the macro/abstract umbrella rather than people.
Another far-reaching dream I’ve never mentioned is I would love to get into voiceover or narration work in the future. Several trained and professional singers have told me they love my voice over the years and I often get told it’s soothing. I’ve shelved that in my mind in the Post Pandemic closet as well though.
Part of the reason I haven’t gotten to explore my creativity is I don’t feel like I have the set-up for it at home. That’s why a complete home overhaul was on my retreat agenda as well - I’ll save that for a separate post. I’m already so pleased with the space and knowing my daughters’ can easily access their arts and crafts will lessen the anxiety I get when it’s time to explore my own creativity.
Anyhoo, I got the urge to blog the Food Manifesto post and quickly activated Tumblr and got the words out and then went to bed. A dear, explosively creative friend took the time to send me a voice note and tell me she didn’t realize how much she missed my writing and how I make mundane topics interesting, that I was a great storyteller, and so on. It blew me away. Maybe *this* is my writing lane. Non-linear narrative writing. I don’t know if that’s the proper term but it fits.
All of this to say, I can’t believe there was a time I thought the creativity within me was dead. I just had to give it a home.
