#plural funny

[lebloodymoonsystem]

Host: *plays cool game once* That was fun

Fictive from said game: Yeah it wa-

Host: AAAAH

[the-fox-collective]

When we want to get a useful alter in front, we like to joke about it because it makes switching easier and less headache inducing. It goes like this

"Oooooh I'm perusing the menu (simply plural, choosing what meal (alter) would go best in this drink (stressful situation)"

Bonus points if you want the alters named after food. Shout out to Coconut and Apple, for being really fucking useful sometimes

[trustmeimadoctor]

We may have just fucked with some dude who has been calling us for weeks. We keep trying to tell him that We don't know him. He acts like he accepts it and moves on. But he still keeps calling. Twice so far and it's almost 2:30 in the morning. Then started texting. Apologized but then asked if we worked together and that he doesn't know who he's calling. So We asked him to clarify. "Worked together in what capacity?" "We suffer from occasional amnesia." "Who are you looking for?" (implying We are many)... Now dude won't stop texting us! He's texted us five times since starting this post! Wtf?! 😅

[trustmeimadoctor]

Headspace Chatter:

"Son of a hot pocket!"

Everyone in front, who is high as fuck btw:

🤣😂😅🤪🙈

[pluraltits]

hi. hello sharks. today i am reaching out to you as a plural, asking for one million dollars cash to invest in my system. what’s a plural? listen- that- don’t worry about it. just- i need money okay? there’s like a hundred and fifty people and they all want their own damn shampoos and conditioner and bodywash and scrubs and all that. okay, well, realistically.. only like a hundred and forty two want their own things, we have some duplicates of the same gal well.. actually. a few can share and a handful don’t care.. UGH, WHATEVER. we need one million dollars to invest in hygeience products for one hundred and thirty five people. you will be helping a think tank that will not profityou at all- wait wait, hold on. i’m getting a call. *holds hand to earpiece that isn’t there* ..i see. we are asking for a million dollars and like… two hundred fifty dollars. for toothpaste. why- why is it less, you ask, Barbra? well, none of us really like mint so that takes out a lot of options and we don’t.. really brush our teeth a lot. yeah. kinda depressed. BUT! YOUUUuuuu could help us change that, by giving us money! you could make two hundred- yes, it did go up- people- listen, this is just really stressful and like twenty of them are you guys okay? don’t you wanna support yourself? …..anyone? oh? you’re- you’re interested in my mental illness ans want to study me? how much will you pay for th- YES! It’s about the money! As i’ve said, everyone wants their own bath products and in this economy? sharktank was the best way. okay? y’know, thanks mr. bald shark, we’ll get studied for money. this will make you bank i promise. good bye lady and gentlemen.