So here we are, I'm going to make a comic written by me and @eg01stlud (my beloved), This is inspired by the songs of the Spanish post-punk band Perfecto Miserable! There will be drama, heartbreak, tears, crying, and broken hearts.
TW: Suicide, drug use, self-harm
You know the rules, We need to respect each other, no NSFW and no hate towards any of the creators.
what if i put mica in a blender💔 also would he be into humiliating his partner if we soften him up enough on the base universe? (like telling him that it’s okay that he’s a sadist n stuff??? possibly by telling him that we are a masochist ourselves?)
much love, miau anon :33
Base universe Mica’s perfectly willing to lovingly humiliate and degrade you. Actually physically harming you is where conflicting feelings start. Apocalypse and PM AU Mica are willing to draw blood and take enjoyment in it. Base Mica’s enjoyment is much more muffled if that makes sense? He knows it’s not a thing he’s supposed to enjoy. Life has told him that’s not okay. At most, you’ll have some bites that bleed slightly (and/or bruise to varying degrees) and some scratch marks. Base world Mica could probably be persuaded to go a bit harder with you if you insisted you liked it, but he’ll never be as unrestrained or effortlessly comfortable with it as Apocalypse Mica or PM Mica (or as easily willing to harm you/others and relishing it in the same way as these two AU versions do)
(Bonus fact: Mica’s not as into blunt based harm. It doesn’t give him the same kind of satisfaction that using his teeth or blades (in the Apocalypse AU and PM AU) could. Again, he’s rather careful with blades when you’re getting intimate and won’t go hard enough to leave any potential scars unless you want him to or if you manage to escape his grasp or something (more likely to just be a straightforward punishment rather than anything very sexual))
“That’s gonna scar…” Chase mumbled under his breath before hissing.
“{Well, you wouldn’t have this type of wound if you would just listen to what I tell you. I wouldn’t have to use my strings to put you in your place.}” Jameson argued back in Chase’s mind. His sapphire eyes focused on the cuts over Chase’s wrists, luckily he didn’t have to worry about the one on his neck since the collar hid it. Jameson tried to be gentle as he tended the wounds, but frustration was evident in his actions, and hearing Chase stifle a his or groan brought odd satisfaction to all of this. “{If Henrik asks what happened, you tell him you relapsed.}”
“W-What? But I’ve been doing good— OW!” Jameson squeezed the tender area around his wrist, soon letting go when Chase recoiled into himself like a wounded animal. “Y-You won’t be able to fool Henrik forever, y’know? He’s gonna find out the monster you really are. He’ll start asking questions a-and your secrets will be revealed.” Chase threatened while rubbing his wrist.
Jameson glared daggers at Chase, “{Do you really wish to challenge me after earlier? Then watch your tongue.}” Jameson signs before turning his back towards the father, walking out of the room and into the kitchen. It was time for Henrik’s coffee break after all.
A/N: Hey y'all! This story is told in dual first-person narrative, from Kaia (F!MC) and Damien’s POV. The first half of this story takes place during Kaia’s freshman year and Damien’s senior year of college. The second half is two years after Kaia graduates. There will be sprinklings of canon in this fic, but we’ll try to step out of the box for the most part. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.
Catch up here
Series Tags: @burnsoslow @lady-calypso @irishwhiskys-blog @loveellamae
Synopsis: What happens when you find yourself crushing on your best friend? For years, Damien and Kaia have been friends, while secretly harboring feelings for one another. Everything changes one night after a little too much alcohol and years of pent up feelings. Can they control their emotions and salvage their friendship, or will the feelings they hold for one another destroy everything they have?
All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.
Chapter Summary: One relationship progresses, while another comes to its end.
Kaia
“STRIKE! Suck it, Kaia!” Victoria shouted as her bowling ball struck all ten pins.
It was Thursday night at the local bowling alley — humorously-titled Split Happens — and my friends and I were hanging out for College Student Night. Nadia initially had the idea for me, her, Steve, and Hayden to double date, but, then I invited Vic and Drake, and it ended up being a group gathering. We invited Sloane, but she had other plans.
Hayden returned to our seats holding two drinks and a basket of fries. He set the fries on the seat in between us and handed me my drink. We’d gone out a few times since the night of the homecoming dance. For our first date, he took me to brunch at this cute little café off-campus. We talked for hours about everything from our favorite professors to our personal lives. He also told me stories about his dog, Dipper. We’d gone out three times after that, each date ending with a hug or a peck on the cheek, and a promise to call or text the next day.
“Your roommate is funny,” he said, grabbing some fries from the basket before shoving them in his mouth. I turned to where Victoria was sitting and saw her eyes glued to Drake’s backside as he bent over to pick up his bowling ball.
“She’s something. I got really lucky in the roommate department.”
He nodded. “Mine sucks. Wanna trade?”
“Ha! Not after the stories you’ve told me. I’m lucky Vic only brings Drake to the room when I’m not there. And no overnights, thank the gods.”
“Well, at least she respects your personal space. I found some lacy underwear in my bed last week. And I know they weren’t mine. Red is totally not my color.”
I laughed and reached for a handful of fries at the same time he did. Our hands brushed and I almost dropped mine at the contact. He looked down at the basket, then back up at me, and smiled as he popped the fries in his mouth. His tongue darted out to lick the granules of salt from his lips, and my eyes followed the movement. The two of us stared at each other until we were interrupted by Nadia slumping down in her chair next to me.
“You’re up, Kaia,” she sighed.
I set my drink down and walked toward the ball return. Finding the pink and white marble ball, I slipped my thumb, middle, and ring fingers into the finger holes, hefted the ball up, and walked up to the foul line.
I stared up at the scoreboard and surveyed my status. It was the tenth frame and I was only six points behind Victoria, so I just needed to knock seven pins down and I’d beat her. We started the game out friendly, but she let her competitive streak get the best of her, and it ended up getting chippy towards the end. Naturally, Steve was smoking all of us. It was stupid how athletically gifted he was. Hayden was in second, followed by Drake, Victoria, then me. Nadia brought up the rear, but she didn’t seem to mind. She was too focused on swapping spit with Steve once her turn was up.
I pulled the ball close to my chest and lined up my shot. Inhale. Exhale. I swung my arm back, before propelling the ball forward and releasing it. It rolled down the lane, teetering towards the gutter. I squatted down on my haunches as the ball rolled down the lane, waving my hands as if my psychic powers could redirect the ball back towards the pins. The ball reached the pins and clipped the sixth and tenth ones, causing them to wobble, before toppling over and taking the ninth pin with them. I groaned. Shit. I had two more balls to get at least four pins in this frame.
Behind me, Victoria giggled. “I got this in the bag,” she loudly proclaimed. I whipped around and narrowed my eyes in her direction as she squeezed Drake’s arm and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Don’t celebrate too soon. I still have two more balls this frame,” I said as I walked back to the return.
From the corner of my eye, I caught Hayden watching me. I turned my head towards him and we locked eyes. He smiled and took a sip of his soda.
“Any advice?” I asked.
He stood up and stalked towards me, his massive frame shadowing my much smaller one. He guided me towards the lane and stood behind me, positioning my body.
“The first thing you want to do is square your shoulders,” he said, placing one hand on each of my shoulders, straightening my posture. The touch of his hands burned through the thin fabric of my t-shirt. “Then, when you go to release, keep your backswing moderately high, it will give you a modest ball rotation and your release will be smoother.” He dragged his hand down the back of my arm to my elbow, sending goosebumps all over my body. He hooked his fingers in the crook of my arm and pulled my arm back to mime the motion.
“Also, try to rotate your wrist clockwise. This will cause the ball to hook in the opposite direction so you don’t sink it in the gutter,” he said, wrapping his large hands around my tiny wrist, and rotating it. His fingers brushed the underside of my wrist ever so gently and I sucked in a quick breath.
“O-okay! I think I got it,” I stuttered, pulling my hand from his grasp. I slipped my fingers in the grips of the ball and narrowed my eyes at the seven remaining pins. I tried to ignore Hayden’s burning gaze behind me as I lined up my shot and released my ball down the lane. Everyone in our group fell silent as the ball made its slow (okay, maybe it wasn’t that slow, but it sure felt like it) descent down the lane towards the remaining seven pins. I heard Victoria gasp as the ball struck the front pin dead center and took out the remaining pins.
When the pin sweep dropped and swept away the discarded pins, I whipped around and leaped into Hayden’s arms. “You’re a genius!”
He chuckled and squeezed me against him. “What do you mean? That was all you! You kicked those pins’ asses.” He set me back down and I ran over and high-fived Steve, Nadia, and Drake. I plopped down next to Victoria and she rolled her eyes and held up a hand for a high-five, smirking as our palms connected.
“Yeah, yeah. You got me.” She looked over at Hayden, who was talking with Steve about gods knows what. “So, how’s it going with you two?”
“Things are good. We’re taking it slow. Getting to know each other. I really like him. He’s funny. And so cute. How’s everything with you and Drake?”
She visibly blushed, and I reached over to grip her forearm. “Vic! Tell me EVERYTHING!”
“He’s amazing. We’re together almost every day, and the ones we aren’t, we talk on the phone every night. I’m crazy about him, Kaia. Dare I say, I might be in L-word.”
Victoria and Drake had been seeing each other for about two months and it warmed my heart to hear that she was head over heels for him. I smiled and pulled her in for a hug. “Oh, Vic! I’m so happy for you. You deserve to be happy.” I pulled back and noticed her eyes were shining with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just that saying those words out loud, it feels real.” She looked away from me and I followed her line of sight to see her staring at Drake lovingly. She quickly wiped her eyes and stood up from her seat. “Alright. Enough emotions. You guys wanna play another game?”
“I’m up for it if everyone else is,” I replied. The rest of our group agreed and we set up for another game. When it was all said and done, Steve won (again) followed by Drake, and Hayden. Victoria ended up finishing two pins ahead of me, with Nadia once again bringing up the rear. We gathered our coats and returned our shoes to the rental. As we stepped out of the alley, the wind picked up. I tugged my jacket tighter against me. These late-October temps were pretty unpredictable and I was thankful I brought a heavier jacket.
I waved goodbye to my friends as Hayden wrapped an arm around my shoulders and guided me to his car. He opened the door for me and I winked at him as I slipped into the passenger’s seat. I watched as he jogged around the back of the car and climbed in the driver’s side.
“You hungry? Wanna go grab a bite before I drop you back off at your dorm?”
“Sure,” I replied. He nodded then fired up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I asked.
He turned slightly, keeping his eyes on the road. “I did. Your friends are fun.”
I smiled. “I’m glad you said that. I was worried about how you’d get along with them. They can be a little much. Especially my cousin and my roommate.”
He laughed. “Your cousin is a trip! And her boyfriend seems nice. Your roommate, on the other hand...”
I turned in my seat. “Why? What did she say to you?”
“Nothing bad. But she cornered me near the restrooms and asked me what my intentions with you were.”
“And what did you tell her?” I asked, amused.
“I just told her that I wanted to get to know you and see where things went. My intentions are pure. Nothing inappropriate. Yet.” He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows.
I smirked and shook my head as we drove. A few minutes later, we pulled up in the McDermots drive-thru. I ordered a McBurger while Hayden got the Wild-Style Double McDermot Deluxe burger. We sat in the parking lot and ate our food in comfortable silence.
When Hayden finished eating, he balled up his sandwich wrapper and turned to me. “What are you doing this weekend?”
“Well, midterms are almost over, so I’m definitely catching up on sleep, but I can make time to see you. What did you have in mind?” I asked, throwing my wrapper in the take-out bag.
He smiled. “Well, we could go check out that new Keanu Reeves movie that hits theaters tomorrow if you like action movies.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Text me this weekend and we’ll play it by ear.”
He nodded and put the car in gear, then pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to campus. We chatted about midterms for the rest of the ride. When he pulled into the dorm parking lot, we exited the car and he walked me to my room.
“So, I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” I said as I unlocked my door.
I swung it open and stepped over the threshold of my room then turned back to him. He leaned one arm on the doorframe, staring at me with those dark eyes. “Looking forward to it.”
We stared at each other for several beats, then he leaned in and pressed a searing kiss to my lips. I froze at first, not sure how to respond, but then gave in to the kiss. I gripped his biceps to steady myself as the kiss grew deeper. After what felt like hours, he broke the kiss and stepped back. Both of us stared at each other as we tried to catch our breaths.
“Sorry. I had to do that,” he said.
“Don’t apologize. It was nice,” I replied.
He smiled and cupped my cheek in his palm. “See you,” he said, then strode down the hallway towards the elevator.
I slipped into my room and shut the door, leaning against the back of it. I brought my fingers up to my lips, still feeling his kiss. I couldn't lie, I did like it. Almost as much as I liked the one Damien sprung on me at homecoming.
What the... Why was I thinking about him? Things with Hayden were never going to progress if I kept carrying a torch for Damien. I groaned and flung myself onto my bed. I was in deep shit.
***
Damien
I walked in the door of my childhood home and sighed. I loved coming here. It made me feel like I was whole. I missed home. Even before my dad passed away, I made an effort to come back at least once a month. More, if needed. Stepping aside, I let Alana walk in front of me and guided her toward the living room. The smell of empanadillas wafted through the house as my mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen.
“Is that you, mijo?”
“Yeah, Mama! Alana and I are here.”
She bustled out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, then took my face in her hands. She pulled me down to her height and kissed my cheeks. “My boy! So good to see you.”
She then turned to Alana and her eyes lit up. “Hello, dear. How are you?” she asked as she placed a hand on Alana’s shoulder.
“I’m good Mrs. Nazario. How have you been?”
My mother nodded “Good, good. It’s always nice when my children come home.” She patted Alana on the cheek and ushered her to have a seat. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Water’s fine for me,” Alana replied.
My mother nodded then motioned for me to follow her to the kitchen. We entered and I spotted my youngest sister, Lucilla, leaning against the counter. “Dames! So nice of you to join us,” she smirked as she bit into an apple.
I moved forward and wrapped my arm around her neck, pulling her to my body, as I rubbed my knuckles against her scalp. She grunted as the apple she was holding dropped to the floor. “Hi, sis. Did you miss me?”
Lucilla reached over and pinched my sides. I yelped as I released her from my grip. “How could I miss you when you never go away?” she said as she leaned over to pick up the apple. “Did you bring your girlfriend?”
I looked to Mama, then back to her. “Yeah, she’s in the living room. Can you bring her some water?”
Lucilla rolled her eyes then opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “That’s fine. We can catch up and talk shit about you.”
I swung my leg out to kick her, but she dodged me at the last second, laughing as she burst through the kitchen door to the living room. My mother chuckled to herself at the interaction. When my sister was out of the room she turned to me, smiling.
“How are you, my boy? School going well?”
I nodded, leaning beside her against the counter as she slipped the next batch of empanadillas into the deep fryer. “Yeah. Just finished midterms. I’m ready to be done already. Just gotta get through the rest of this semester and next.”
She smiled. “I’m so proud of you. Your father would be too. Just hang in there for a few more months. It will all be worth it. How is the internship going?”
“It’s great. I’m loving every minute of it. I think I’m going to pursue a career in Intelligence after graduation.”
Mama’s eyes lit up. “Oh, my boy! That’s so wonderful. I can see it now. My son will have a fancy government job in Washington D.C. I’ll never have to worry about you.”
I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. I hated hearing that my mother worried about me. Especially when she had her own heartache and my younger sisters to worry about. I wiped a stray tear from her cheek and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be alright.”
“I know you will. But it’s my job to worry about you. As long as you’re taking care of yourself.” She pulled the empanadillas from the deep fryer and set them on a towel to cool. Her eyes darted to the kitchen door and she lowered her voice. “Everything alright with...” she jerked her head towards the living room.
I sighed and dragged a hand down my face. “Where do I start?”
My mother wiped her hands on her apron and guided me to the kitchen table. “Sit. Do you want something to drink?”
“Rum if you’ve got it,” I replied.
She moved over to the cabinet and grabbed the bottle of spiced rum. I smiled. It was my father’s favorite brand. She placed the bottle and two tumblers on the table and took a seat across from me. “Spill, my boy.”
“I don’t know, Mama. It just seems like our whole relationship is toxic. We barely spend time together, and when we do, we argue the whole time. She gets crazy insecure and accuses me of cheating on her just because I hang out with Kaia, and it-”
“Wait...Kaia? Kaia Park?” my mother interrupted.
“Uh, yeah. Why?”
My mother pursed her lips and stared at her hands. “I didn’t want to say anything back then, but I always wondered what happened between you two.”
“Mama, nothing happened between us. She was always too young for me. The last time anything happened was four years ago.” I purposely omitted the incident at homecoming, but my mother knew about the graduation party. She mentioned that Kaia seemed off in the days following, and stopped coming around the house after I left for college. It wasn’t until Nadia told Carina, who told Ma what happened, that she finally put two and two together.
“You were always smitten with that girl, no matter how much you lied to yourself.”
“Mama. It wasn’t like that. We’re best friends,” I said defensively.
“I know better, mijo. I watched you two when you were together. You looked at her like she was the only girl in the room. And she you.” She chuckled and took a sip of her glass. “You two were attached at the hip. I never suspected anything until that summer before your junior year. She came over one time when you weren’t home and your father found her hanging out in that treehouse. When he asked her what she was doing, she said she wanted to be here when you got back. He said he knew at that moment that you weren’t ‘just friends’ in her eyes.”
I swallowed a sip of spiced rum, the liquid burned as it went down. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean anything. She had a crush on me. I already knew that. But I never pursued her. She was underage.”
“Understandable. But do you remember your senior year of high school? When that boy she was seeing broke her heart? You went over to his house and threatened to beat him up if he even looked at her again.”
“Yeah, ‘cause she was my best friend and she was hurting,” I said.
My mother shook her head. “Guess how many times I caught you glaring at him while you watched them together? Every time he showed up at her house, you sat on that front porch and stared. If looks could kill, that boy would have dropped dead before he reached the front door.”
I twisted the tumbler in my hand. “I...I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say anything to me. You need to be honest with yourself, first and foremost. Then, you need to be honest with Kaia.”
The faint sounds of laughter came from the living room. I glanced at the door before turning back to Mama. “Won’t matter. She has a boyfriend. And I have a girlfriend. Who I love. And who’s sitting in the next room.”
My mother cupped my cheek in her palm. “Oh, mijo. You know I love you, and I want you to be happy. But that girl. She does not make you happy. I can see it in your eyes.”
Damn, she was good. How did moms always know what kids didn’t? “I have a lot to think about. But thank you for being there.” I sighed and finished off my rum, then collected both glasses and put them in the dishwasher.
Mama brushed the hair from my forehead and kissed the top of my head. She put the bottle of rum back in the cabinet and went back to preparing dinner. “Go tell Alana and Lucilla that dinner is almost ready.”
I swung the door open and saw my sister and girlfriend sitting on the sofa, looking through a photo album. A bottle of wine sat open on the coffee table accompanied by two glasses. Alana’s water bottle remained untouched. “Hey! Mama said dinner’s almost ready, so go wash up.”
Lucilla rose from the couch, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” She collected the wine bottle and glasses and retreated into the kitchen.
I turned to look at Alana, who set the photo album down and examined her nails. “Did you and your mom have a nice chat?”
“We did. Were you getting my sister drunk?”
She laughed humorously. “It was one glass, Damien. And she’s not driving anywhere. It will be fine.”
“She’s only 16, babe.”
I glanced down at the photo album which lay open on the coffee table. Photos of my sisters and me when we were kids filled the pages. I picked up the book and went to close it when one picture caught my eye. It was Nadia, Kaia, Carina, and I. I was maybe 17 at the time. We were sitting on the porch swing outside Kaia’s house. Nadia and Carina sat on the end, making funny faces, while Kaia and I were squished in the middle. My arm was slung around her shoulders, and I was gazing at her. Then, it hit me. I finally saw what my mother was talking about.
“Oh, shit,” I muttered under my breath. I looked up to see Alana eyeing me suspiciously. I opened my mouth to say something when my mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen.
“Dinner’s ready. Come eat!”
Alana turned on her heel and stomped towards the kitchen. I closed the photo album and put it back on the bookshelf behind the sofa. I raked my hand through my hair and made my way towards the kitchen. This was going to be a long dinner.
A few hours later, Alana and I were on our way back to campus. We drove in uncomfortable silence for most of the trip. We were about 10 miles from school when she turned to me, breaking the silence.
“How long have you been in love with her?”
I swallowed. Welp, better to rip off the bandaid now. “I don’t know exactly. I guess I’ve been lying to myself this whole time.”
“And to me…” she trailed off.
“Alana-”
“Don’t, Damien. Okay? Just...don’t. I’m not an idiot. You know, I didn’t want to believe it, but the signs were right in front of me this whole time. The stolen glances. The emotional unavailability. I guess I thought you'd eventually get over whatever it was you felt for her. I’m just sorry that whatever we had wasn’t enough to keep you interested.”
I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry too. To be honest, I knew this relationship was doomed when you turned down my marriage proposal. I think I stuck it out, hoping you’d eventually change your mind. I wish we would have just called it quits then. It would have saved us both a lot of pain.”
She nodded. Neither of us said another word until we pulled into the campus parking lot. She reached out to open the car door, but stopped and turned to me. “For what it’s worth, I did love you. I guess it just wasn’t enough to spend forever together.” She gave me a weak smile, then got out of the car. I watched her walk away, a heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders. When she was out of sight, I got out and made my way to my dorm.
When I got inside my room, I threw myself on my bed and sighed deeply. I knew breaking up with Alana was the right thing to do, but I still felt like shit about it. I needed to get some things off my chest and there was only one person I wanted to talk to. I pulled my phone from my pocket and thumbed through my contacts until I pulled up her name. I opened the text app and typed out my message.
