The Surrogate Father Trope and Why I Love It
Or, Bean gushes about her favorite media
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So I love the surrogate father trope. It’s in my three favorite television/movie media things, and I’m pretty sure that’s why I love those movies/shows.
Why do I love it? Well, today, we have a culture of toxic masculinity where independence and emotional stoicity (that’s not a word; just roll with it) are prevalent, and you know what? It annoys the crap outta me. (I know this isn’t exactly toxic masculinity, I just don’t know what else to call it, don’t hate on me)
We also have a culture where romantic/sexual love are dominant, and as a person who identifies as asexual and on occasion aromantic, I really don’t like that.
I prefer platonic/familial love to romantic love on most occasions, and I like seeing that represented in media; this, combined with my hate of toxic masculinity, make it so I love surrogate dads!
These are men who want to be fathers to these children! They want to support and be there for them! They want to be a part of their lives! They fly in the face of toxic masculinity and over-present romantic/sexual love! I love them!!
So I can safely say that, at this point in time, my three favorite digital media are Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia, the MCU, and Stranger Things. These all have some amazing surrogate dads:
-Blinkous “Blinky” Galadrigal, aka the surrogate father of Jim Lake, Jr,
-Tony Stark, aka the surrogate father of Peter Parker,
-and Jim Hopper, aka the surrogate father of Eleven/Jane Hopper.
And, best of all, they are all canonically these children’s fathers.
In Trollhunters, my current favorite show, Blinky literally says to Jim, and I quote: “When I gaze upon you, do you know what I see? I see a champion; a friend; a son. A magnificent son.” And God, did that ever break me. What makes this even better is that Jim’s bio dad left him and his mom, just walked out, not even telling them of his intentions, on Jim’s fifth birthday, and Blinky, upon hearing the story, visibly looks upset and I’m pretty sure that’s when he was like, “Okay, this smol human child has had a crappy childhood cos his dad left on his fifth birthday so I’m gonna be his dad now.” And he was! He’s best dad and no one can convince me otherwise.
I recently got dragged into the MCU by my father and I’m glad I let myself get pulled in. So upon learning Tony is widely regarded as Peter’s surrogate dad, I was like, “Hm, gotta check this out” and I was not disappointed. (Tbh I saw a post somewhere that compared TrollDad to IronDad and I was like, so Tony Stark/Ironman is a dad? Cool beans, dude.) There’s so much fic for IronDad, oh my God. Seeing as how I’m nearly always starved for new TrollDad content (wtf TH fandom?! Gimme TrollDad!!) reading IronDad content helps slake my hunger. Tony is such a good dad to Peter and I love that!! Tony Stark is an excellent father and let no one tell you otherwise.
And Hopper. Oh, Hopper. You grouchy, grumpy man who is secretly a softy. Lemme tell you, grumpy dads who are actually super soft to their kids is one of my weaknesses. He takes El in!! He gives her a home!! And a paternal relationship that is not abusive!! He LEGALLY ADOPTS HER!! He’s not the best dad, I’ll admit that, but he’s actively trying to be better. That is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, my dudes, and it is amazing. He gets his life together so he can positively parent this tiny little telekinetic/telepathic child who can kill with nary a thought. El needs a positive father-figure in her life after that crap with Brenner, and Hop steps up to the plate and hits it out of the park. Grand slam. Wins the game. (I’m watching baseball as I write this, don’t judge me.)
Tl;dr, I love surrogate dads and there needs to be more of them in popular media.
AND SURROGATE MOMS TOO, LET’S NOT FORGET THEM. I LOVE SURROGATE PARENTS OF ALL STRIPES.
