#polyamory education

[certifiedsexed]

I know this isn't technically a sex ed question but you're the best person I could think of to ask.

I just started dating my bf around 4 months ago and I know that he and his family seem pretty ok with queer stuff but he's kind of a dumbass around the subject. Doesn't seem to be educated about it ya know?

So here's where my question comes in, I think I might be polyamorous and have a crush on two other people at the moment, how would I go about discussing this with him? I don't want to offend him or anything and he's the first person I've ever dated. We're both in high school for a little context

Well, thank you for trusting me to answer! This is an interesting question.

I feel like I'd start by seeing what he knows about polyamory. What does he think of it? Does he know what it means?

I'd also find some articles or videos explaining the topic, in case you need them.

As for actually coming out to him, I'd suggest you start by making it clear whatever is most important. Do you want to keep dating him? Start by making that clear. Do you love him as much as you did before? Start with that. Are you scared he's going to be mad? Start with that.

Then tell him however makes most sense to you. You could tell him part of it now, part of it later, whatever feels best to you. Probably not with a bunch of people around because that might make it stressful, though if you'd feel better with a friend around, I'm not discouraging that.

Not sure how helpful this is but let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[thorlokibrother]

yikes how many people are polyamorous and just don't realise because they haven't been introduced to the concept?

keep meeting people so hung up on the idea that they have to choose between multiple people that they're clearly hella into and none of them know what the word polyamorous means before I say.

we need better relationship education and we needed it generations ago.

[certifiedsexed]

Idk if this is the kinda thing you answer on this blog, but I genuinely don't know who else to ask :,]

Im in high-school and I've been with my partner for a year now. Our relationship overall has very open communication, but there's one thing that I want to tell them that keeps catching in my throat.

Idk the term for it, but I feel that I would be perfectly comfortable in a relationship with two other people, not necessarily immediately but in the future. Three people just sounds like a more balanced relationship to me, and Idk how to bring this up to my partner without sounding like he isn't enough for me :/

Well, lemme give it a shot! <3

Well, having romantic/etc relationships with more than one person is generally called a "polyamorous" or "polyplatonic" relationship.

I can't tell you exactly how to discuss that with your partner but I'd suggest opening with the fact that he's enough for you. You can even let him know you're nervous to talk to him about it all!

Also, it doesn't have to be a huge thing. You could just say, "Hey, you're enough for me and I don't want you to think you aren't but I think I might be polyamorous."

And try doing some research first! Figure out what you're into specifically, what you're open to and how you want to discuss it.

Just keep up the communication.

I'm not sure if this is helpful but let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[discoveringpolyamory]

"Primary"

A "main" partner to whom you are more committed than other people you see

Many people dislike this term as they believe hierarchical relationships are inherently unfair. But for others, it clarifies to potential partners how much time and energy they have for them. 

This term is often used by couples who have opened up to polyamory together. When you share things with one partner, such as home ownership or childrearing, they will often, by necessity, have to take priority over others.

(Discover more at DiscoveringPolyamory.com)

[discoveringpolyamory]

"Compersion"

The positive emotion felt when witnessing someone else's happiness.

More specifically, this is the feeling garnered by seeing your partner happy completely independently of you and being okay with that.

Many people call compersion the opposite of jealousy. But I believe it's more than that. Compersion is about letting go of your ego. It's about understanding that your partner being happy without you is a good thing and that it doesn't lessen your connection or your love. 

In a healthy relationship, seeing your partner happy with other people shouldn't be a threat. 

(Discover more at DiscoveringPolyamory.com)