my The Long Game rant/pos starting from ch23!! i posted this as just ch23 rant at first, i made separate posts for 32-33 and the end but i'm literally supposed to be on hiatus rn so i merged them
original post:
yuna was like "i'm sorry i made you feel like you couldn't tell me" to shane in heated rivalry. i'm on chapter 23 of TLG and you all know why i brought up what yuna said.
very very long angry ranty spoilers for TLG up to CH23 :3
updates:
UPDATED FOR CH24 AND 25 WHAT THE FUCK
updated X2 for CH32-33
updated X3 for the end (CH36-39ish)
original post:
i hate them i hate them my poor babies i can't watch them being hardasses and refusing to be vulnerable and bottling up emotions and resentment AGAIN. i feel so so bad for ilya too bc of what he brought up and how shane reflected on it, like yes ilya gave up literally everything but you can't blame it on either of them. and ngl the fight kinda started with ilya and he could've just went "fuck i wanna tell everyone we're together and i want everyone to know ily but i know i can't and i won't" like scott did in HR (the show). but he literally has no support system besides SHANE and SHANE's family, plus his ex-family in russia definitely fostered anger issues or poor temper ot something like that. but instead a whole bunch of miscommunication later and he backs shane into a wall which actually scares shane and then he kicks shane out. and AGAIN i can't blame either of them in the slightest bc no one is at fault for any of this besides the people who cultivated such a homphobic society. and the call where shane and ilya apologize and acknowledge their mistakes like THANK YOU yes you guys made mistakes that led to the fight (gradually/build up of resentment AND in-the-moment poor choice of words) but they're still keeping stuff from each other. not just ilya but also shane about how he felt about the things they talked about. and ik they might not be ready to talk about it but it just fucking hurts. fucking fuck this book /pos
updates:
ch24
WHAT WHAT WHAT I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID UNRIVALED WOULD HAVE ILYA IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT WHAT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PLANE WHAT WHAT WHAT ILYA'S ALMOST-BUT-NOT-REALLY LAST WORDS AND IK HE WASN'T JUST GONNA DIE LIKE THAT BUT FUCK THIS IS SO SCARY. IF I WAS EITHER OF THEM I WOULD BE IN TEARS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR HELLO??? BOTH OF THEIR PANICKING GOT ME SO FUCKED UP, ILYA OF COURSE BUT ALSO SHANE WONDERING WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF HE LOST ILYA, AND THEN WHEN THEY CALL AND ILYA CALLS SHANE SWEETHEART I'M NOT OKAY
ch25
PROPOSAL??? MARRIAGE??? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE COMING OUT. I MEAN LIKE YAY YIPPEE FINALLY NO MORE SECRET BUT WHAT??? I DIDN'T THINK THEY WOULD DO IT SO SOON BUT IT'S LITERALLY CH25 THEY LWK SHOULD'VE DONE IT EARLIER. ALSO WHAT ABOUT THE THERAPY STORYLINE LIKE BE SO FR THEY STILL NEED COUPLE'S COUNSELING. THEY CAN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT??
somewhere along the line i was supposed to yippee about ilya telling svetlana. lwk felt out of character svetlana though but hey i haven't even read HR. i just feel like with how she was characterized in the show that she would've clocked ilya being with a man (or straight up just shane) faster than she did
CH32-33 i forgot what was which
I WAS LITERALLY THINKING "hmmm it's getting close to the end. are they really gonna come out in the summer on their own terms and live happily ever after? i mean hopefully but literally in HR they got caught by shane's parents so-" and BOOM
ARE YOU SERIOUS. HAYDEN YOU DUMBASSSS. i'm not even mad at him. also ilya's chill reaction was so unexpected, i thought he would fully beat tf out of hayden but also i agree w what he said. BUT LIKE CMON HAYDEN YOU COULDVE WATCHED IT OVER,, ALSO ILYA AND SHANE LAUGHING OVER IT HFBHJGIJSRRG i'm STILL PISSED THEY DIDN'T GET TO DO IT ON THEIR OWN TERMS THOUGH. AND FUCK CROWELL FUCK CROWELL HE NEEDS TO B E SUED AND REMOVED IN UNRIVALED.
FUCK THE MONTREAL COACH TOO HE'S SUCH A BUM. LITERALLY NO ONE LIKES HIM
ALSO KINDA FUCK THE MONTREAL TEAM IN GENERAL. LIKE BFFR J.J., HE HAS EVERY REASON IN THE WORLD NOT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT ILYA. "oh it wasn't a secret to everyo-" HAYDEN PIKE IS HIS BEST FUCKING FRIEND. AND THE OTHERS LIKE SHANE WAS ALREADY OUT TO YOU ALL HOW ARE YOU GONNA BE MAD THAT HE'S WITH SOMEONE. AND ACCUSING HIM OF THROWING THE GAME LIKE LITERALLY FUCK URSELVES HE BUILT THE METROS GROUND UP AND Y'ALL PULL THIS STUPID ASS BULLSHIT
THE ENDING
YAY YAY YAY ILYA OPENED UP TO SHANE ABOUT HIS DEPRESSION. THAT FEELS KINDA WRONG TO CHEER FOR BUT YAY VULNERABILITY
HEHEHHEHEHEYIPPEE YAYY HAPPY MARRIAGE YIPPEE. I'M SO GLAD WE SAW SVETLANA AGAINNNN!! she and rose are only in the book like twice, they deserve sm more book-time seeing how they carried the guys in HR. ALSO I FORGIVE YOU JJ YOU'RE COOL EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS KINDA FUCKED LIKE CMON.
W OTTOWA WHATEVERS I THINK THEYRE THE CENTAURS, I JUST REMEMBER THE MTRL METROS AND BOSTOM BEARS/RAIDERS. EITHER WAY W OTTOWA, GAY ASS TEAM <333
i now realize i got spoiled that they both end up on ottowa. but i just forgot about that bc i read a fic where they both end up on boston. i remembered at the start but assumed shane switching teams would happen like halfway thru the book for some reason so when he didn't i just erased it from my mind
the trophy room stuff was also very funny. i'm glad the say gex scenes got relatively shorter towards the end bc some of them were FERAL like actually uncomfy to read. but yeah shane definitely has a praise kink. the first time ilya went "you're better at hockey" or sum and shane said it was a tie, i dont remember when that was but it was cute <3
First day back on adhd meds after they were on back order for 2.5 weeks and here are the results
1. wow I can get out of bed on time and write an agenda for a meeting and speak with coherence and competence in all my work meetings
2. heads down work time for almost 3 solid hours in the afternoon during which I got so much done (even when I did get interrupted once)
3. did the chore that needed doing after work
4. cooked myself dinner!
5. played tears of the kingdom while watching fantasy high and did not get bored or feel guilty for the fact that I was not writing!
6. finally finished part of my dnd character’s backstory I’ve been procrastinating for 2 weeks
guys I feel unstoppable lmao
nowww unfortunately since I have to adjust to being on the meds again the downsides are:
1. My lunch was apple sauce and a cliff kids z-bar…. Pretty much wasn’t hungry at all until dinner lol oops.
2. Can’t sleep 🙃 but on the bright side - my thoughts aren’t anxious. I thought of more stuff for my dnd character, better solutions to a problem at work, and am having art and fanfic ideas! So it could be much worse lol!
All in all: fuck the government for putting stupid manufacturing limitations on adhd stimulant medication. The last two weeks I have been putting in double the mental energy to do my job, to do the bare minimum of taking care of myself and my body, been losing dopamine so fast that even my favorite activities were getting boring and I was switching between them like every 30 minutes. My thoughts have been all over the place and my anxiety has been worse and I’ve just be sooooo tired.
I still functioned, so part of me was like “maybe I’m okay without the meds” and sure yeah I’m okay without them. But I was supplementing with caffeine (neuromints, specifically) and still when getting back on my meds, suddenly functioning like a normal person is almost (almost) easy again.
Now just to adjust back to the sleep and appetite changes lol..
your friendly reminder that thrifted/old/used items can still be used and work perfectly well!! And you don’t need the most expensive or popular thing to be considered “good” !!
as someone who does horseback riding tack can be really fucking expensive. I have secondhand boots I got for free. Yes they may be dirty, yes the laces are very damaged, yes the leather isn’t perfect, but they’re fucking amazing. They work. They serve their purpose.
I also used my moms at least 25 year old ice skates from the 90s :D guess what?? THEY WORK GREAT.
I’m also at the point where I have to duct tape that one pair of converse, but those are basically attached to me by now :D (they survived middle school and so many other things chat trust)
thrifting doesn’t mean you’re poor (saying that because it’s gotten said to be before that I’m apparently poor for doing it) by :3 hell I get most of my pants and some other clothes thrifting. It’s also better for the planet in general because your js reusing stuff too :D
Ok so for context when I graduate I wanna go down the path to become a math teacher like majoring in mathematics, mastering and maybe bacheloring in education yadda yadda
So I tell my AP Bio professor that and she OFFERS ME. Ok so I STRONGLY ENJOY LOVE LIKE math, specifically math that involves like equations and formulas (don't ask me to do geometry I'll punch u in the pussy) and my prof said "oh! In the summer I was teaching algebra 1 for the freshman and goodness there was so many- you should volunteer as my TA next summer!" AND I FEEL?? SO HONORED? SO GIDDY??? like I left that classroom smiling like I just heard the reminances of 6 and 7 but like hello? Like lowk I MIGHT do it...
JUST LIKE THE SAYING GAMBLERS QUIT BEFORE THEYRE ABOUT TO HIT IT BIG: IT APPLIES FOR FANFICTION TOO!!!
if you think you're really shit at writing and therefore never write a fic I BEG OF YOU TO AT LEAST TRY IF POSSIBLE!!
the amount of fics ive read that start off with "sorry if this is bad, my english isnt the greatest/it isnt my first language/ this is my first fic" and it ends up being an absolute mind-blowing masterpiece.
fanfiction doesn't have to be perfect either! I don't care if there's a lot of time skips, spelling errors , very fast story progression, small word count or maybe the characters are acting really ooc or not lore accurate.
It's not an english essay that's due tomorrow, it's ART ; the possibilities are endless! you can edit it literally whenever you want!!
I WANT TO READ YOUR FANFICTION, I DONT CARE IF YOU THINK ITS BAD, TO ME IT MIGHT BE A BOOKMARK I GO BACK TO OFTEN TO CHEER ME UP ON BAD DAYS :]
I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I get the pleasure to see Joost in LA next month :)!!!!!!!!
It’s kinda crazy that I used to watch his YouTube videos when I was younger. Rediscovering him as a musician in summer 2022 was a nice surprise! Shout out to him though bc he’s the only YouTuber turned musician I’ll support 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Anyways, I have no idea what the setlist is like or what he’s been doing at shows this tour. I’m finally off social media and am looking forward to being fully thrown into the experience and whatever vibes he creates.
This is just me positively rambling on about some people don't mind me-
So during my first year of Junior High, we already had to wear masks, and so we did. All my classmates were chatting early in the morning as usual (We all reach school very early during that period of time) and the guy I mentioned started talking, he sat behind me, so I turned around to face him as he talks, I was holding the back of my chair while resting my head on my hands. After he finished talking, the others started talking too, then he looked at me for a bit, and, called me cute??? He said that I reminded him of Nezuko (He said that from his perspective, I looked like Nezuko peeking out of a basket-)And I just froze, which he just chuckled nonchalantly at, like he did not just give me a gay panic that lasted for years and is still going-
And then there's this girl in my class who was very quiet, cold at first glance, does well in every subject and she's so pretty- I was really intimidated by her at first, and I didn't really have much courage to talk to her (I still don't, but now for a different reason) And once, I was assigned a group project with her and her friend, we started a group chat for that, and she sent a message planning everything out for the project(what a girlboss <3) and then at the end of the message, she added an OwO, which I stared at for a solid five minutes. After that, I started catching more and more glimpses of her smiling, I once even saw and heard her laugh a little. I'm still trying to get some courage to talk to her, it'll take a while, but I'll eventually get there!
