#aro spectrum

[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[proship-shuujuu]

this probably isn't a can of worms i want to open, but shipping aro/ace characters is not indicative of arophobia/acephobia/queerphobia.

the "excuse" that aro/ace people can have romantic and/or sexual relationships is valid, of course, but a more important point — these characters are not real. there is no orientation of theirs to disrespect, because they do not exist. they're not harmed or offended by people shipping them. if someone writes an asexual character having sex, that doesn't mean they're acephobic. these characters literally do not exist, the situations and relationships they're in do not exist. it is truly not this massive injustice, or this massive act of bigotry against the community. people can write whatever they like with whatever characters they like.

would accurate representations of aro/ace people being in relationships be nice? yeah. should more people explore these relationships in fiction? in my opinion, yeah. but sometimes people just want to write or draw porn with a character they like, and that's completely fine, too. fandom isn't activism, and fanfiction especially isn't.

disclaimer: op is on both the aromatic and asexual spectrum. op is also extremely sex-repulsed, and in a relationship.

Edit: I was right, people are getting very annoyed that I dared open this can of worms. Just block me if you don't like my opinion, guys! You don't have to be insufferable in the comments!

[thetempestechoes]

"You'll find a romantic partner eventually" I fucking hope not

[it-couldbe-worse]

Appreciation post for this lineup of flags that is fuckin rad and now lives rent free in my head

[aroacearchangel]

hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.

and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.

[ceilidhtransing]

There are so many “accepting” / “tolerant” / “affirming” straight people whose understanding of queerness is still so limited.

They've accepted the idea that men can have sex with men, and women can have sex with women, and they're aware that maybe some people like both men and women... but that's just about where it stops. (And occasionally you even run into LGB people who have a similarly restrictive idea of queer possibilities.)

But something that is, at least to some extent, a gift from the aspec community to the broader queer community is the awareness that queerness can look like so many different things (and shout-out to the polyamorous and relationship anarchist sides of the community too). Attraction can manifest in so many different ways. Love can manifest in so many different ways. The singular model mainstream society has of “what a relationship is” is simply not the only one out there, nor the be-all and end-all of love, partnerships, and relationships; and genuine inclusivity takes a lot more than merely remembering that “oh yeah, I guess these relationships can be M/M or F/F as well, not just M/F”.

Where it becomes actively irritating is when people who bill themselves as “LGBT-friendly” - or at the very least, think of themselves as generally open-minded, not homophobic, and aware of gay people - clearly have absolutely no idea at all of the possibilities beyond homosexuality and (maybe) bisexuality. The ace spectrum? The aro spectrum? Romantic, aesthetic, alterous attraction? Squishes? Queerplatonic relationships? Love without sex? Love without romance? Relationships that complicate the “romantic/platonic” binary? Just, you know, models of relationships that are not “two allo people have a committed and exclusive romantic relationship with sex at the centre”? The fact that someone can go their whole life never having sex with someone of the same gender, and never wanting to, and still 100% be queer? Yeah, nah, they've never come across any of these ideas.

And it ends up being a huge blind spot for them, particularly any time they end up writing authoritatively about identities and relationships and the like, but they're generally not motivated to correct that blind spot, because they have no idea it even exists. All of this stuff is a total “unknown unknown” for them. They don't know that their understanding of, say, asexuality is piss-poor, because they either think it doesn't exist, or they think they already know what it is and don't have to look into it further. They don't know that their understanding of aromanticism is nonexistent because they've never heard of aromanticism in their goddamn life.

Much of it is well-meaning. I'm not really talking about the people who are actively shitty about aspec people; more the folks who genuinely think of themselves as informed and open-minded and tolerant and yet have this giant gaping blind spot. I see it in academia all the time - people will discuss queerness, and the only thing they bring up is monogamous same-sex allo relationships. And, you know, it's great that they're mentioning that! It's obviously better than them not even broaching queerness at all. But my goodness there's a lot that's being left out here, and I think intellectually we all suffer as a result.

There needs to be way more awareness of aspec lives, and honestly far more willingness from straight people - particularly any who write about love, sex, relationships, anything like that - to pay attention to and learn from diverse sectors of the queer community, rather than assuming that because they've got their heads around the idea of being M/M or F/F they now comfortably understand All Of Queerness.

[imconfusedallthetimehelp]

"Project Hail Mary is just a story-"

TO YOU

That's my practical effects built set hopecore movie that made me realize I'm on the aroace spectrum and can get gender envy from a rock