literally just wanna hop in my car and not stop driving

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literally just wanna hop in my car and not stop driving
Lol people perceive me as the least shy person ever bc im really fuckin impulsive and I talk a lot and shit but actually I'm never real with anybody I'm hidden behind like a thousand walls of neurotypical cool masks I'm just constantly completely detached because if I'm not I swear to god I would spend the majority of my social interactions asking "do hate me do you still like me are you mad at me love me please love me love me love don't hate me I'm so sorry I'm so embarrassed I'm sorry"
Anyone else who loves being around people when they are social? But don't wanna be involved at all? Like I want a poly relationship because I want my partner to have a partner so I can sit like a cat and just watch them while doing my own thing
Why do I feel so bad for having the IM feature? I’m way more worried about it than I should. But I can’t help but think that someone might need it more than I do, and I have no interactions with others whatsoever.