Answers to questions/comments I’ve received this week:
No, I am not in labor (honestly, for people who ask this question, would I be answering my phone or texting you if I was? I mean really)
Yes, I AM kind of uncomfortable
No, I don’t know when he’ll finally be here
I’m sure you ARE excited for him to get here
Yes, I will have to eventually be induced if he doesn’t come. When you ask? Weird how that’s literally none of your business either.....
Yes we have tried that (see here: walking, sex, eating pineapple, curb walking, forward/all fours leaning, spicy food, sitting/bouncing/acrobatics on a yoga ball, nipple stimulation, hot showers, baths, and just about every other old wives tale you can imagine)
Need to vent here about the ridiculousness of getting multiple texts and phone calls Every. Day. asking where my baby is. Emphasis on my baby. I get that people are excited and impatient, but honestly? There is no one on earth more excited or impatient than me or my husband, so before you send that text, just stop and think for two seconds if us getting asked repeatedly if the baby is here is helping anyone.
This doesn’t apply to people who might text asking how I am doing. Totally different scenario. Because if you’re asking about me, then you’re not treating me just as the host of the person you really care about, and like an actual human.
Meanwhile, I’m fairly sure that we’re headed for castor oil* town today. We are scheduled for induction within the next week and a half if we can’t get him here on his own. And I’ve asked my providers and even though it starts with a foley bulb catheter, that part is nearly always followed by pitocin, which is the one thing I want to try to avoid. I am straight up terrified about using castor oil, but I’ve watched two perfectly healthy (and large) nephews be born of it, as well as countless friend’s babies. I’m mostly scared because I’ve been brainwashed by the whole “baby will come when he’s ready” thing. Honestly, some babies don’t come even though they’re ready. My body is definitely ready, and has been trying to go into labor on it’s own for weeks now. I’m pretty sure we’ve got a fear/trauma mental block going that’s the cause of the hold up. Which is also why I’m afraid to take the castor oil. It results in birth about 50% of the time (or at least that is the statistic I keep finding), which means if I take it there is a 50% chance I’ll be holding a baby by the end of today, and my whole world will have flipped upside down.
*also, please spare me the messages about how castor oil is the devil. My husband and I have researched it and I wouldn’t even consider it if I didn’t think it was safe for me or the baby.
This post has no point, except that I’m a) annoyed at everyone and b) simultaneously ready and not at all ready for this baby to get here. So basically I am your typically past-due pregnant woman.