Headcanon: Snape taught Minerva how to do Legilimency and Occlumency during his second year as Potions Professor. What does this mean concretely? Well — it means that during Harry’s time at Hogwarts, every time there was a new DADA Professor (i.e. Quirrell, Lockhart, Umbridge), the two of them would have mental conversations by communicating through Legilimency. This of course led to an increasing amount of suppressed hilarity at the High Table every year and both of them having to work twice as hard to perfect their poker faces.
For example, on the morning of Umbridge’s arrival to Hogwarts, they were watching her come down a set of stairs towards the High Table when, with no forewarning, Snape sent the thought “Trip, you bitch” to Minerva via Legilimency. Of course, this was too much for McGonagall and she coughed and spat out her tea down the front of her gown. But luckily this went unnoticed because of the noise in the hall and the fact that students and staff were still taking their seats. Professor Sprout patted Minerva’s back — Snape said something witty about Minerva coughing and how she’d ‘finally succumbed to her cat allergy’ — and after Minerva sent him a mischievous glare, the two of them forced themselves to regain composure before Umbridge finally arrived at the table, smelling insidiously of dusty roses and patchoulis – and every inch of her draped in pink.
Let me tell you, this idea has me in a death grip
