I just realized most of you probably don’t know this so I am obligated to share with my followers a Delightful Guinea Pig Fact.
This is not just a Bo fact, it is a legit bona fide Guinea Pig Fact in that it has been identically true for every guinea pig I’ve owned since I was seven. (Samulle, Button, Cricket, Otho, Presto, and Bo.) It is, therefore, scientifically verified and universal.
You know that thing cats do when they groom themselves? That thing where they just absolutely do not give a shit? The unashamed exhibitionism of bathing their whole business in front of God and man? They just flop down in the middle of the room, stick their entire leg over their head and just start loudly licking their genitalia while maintaining unblinking eye contact with you as if actively, intentionally making it weird?
Guinea pigs do not do that.
If a guinea pig is grooming himself, and you happen to glance over, they pause, wait, and--if you are so rude as to keep watching--they will lower their leg, make unhappy noises, and refuse to continue.