scenarios where atem is definitely for sure the love of kaiba's life but kaiba can't do anything to save him from being fucking dead and has to go back to the world of the living whether he likes it or not and have his own life make me feel shrimp emotions
i mean i WANT a fixit for atem's death but also sometimes wanting is better than having?
kaiba who is a tragic widow age 18 the rest of his life ahead of him and will some day be ok w that
Iâm an idiot for thinking
This was anything but blood
Yeah, I know wrong, I know right
But I just love to pick a fight
You might think that you can hurt me
But the damage has been done
âThis is Loveâ, Air Traffic Controller
S0 Pride. There is blood. ~2200 words.
--
I woke up to darkness and pain.
The bitter taste of metal was new to me, but the ache in the back of my head was not. Dirt had found its way under my fingernails; my fingers twitched with the aborted attempt to latch onto their prey.Â
He was still here, of course. He wouldnât leave so easily. And even though people would start to worry when Yugi Mutou was missing for too long, the thing that held his body would not worry about such inconsequential demarcations as ânightâ or âdayâ, âsleepâ or âmealsâ.Â
The game came first.Â
Always the game.
âI think youâre cheating, Kaiba.â
âNaughty words from such an innocent face.â My tongue was too big, my mouth too dry. I pushed myself up off the ground, watching that silhouette hover a few feet away from me. His face had never been innocent, and he knew it. âIâll leave my scars. My marks on you.â
âThatâs not a victory.â
I swallowed down the other retort. It was a victory of a different sort, he had to know that. âIf you wanted me to stop, youâd leave.â
He actually smiled at that. Smiled. Because he knew. Asshole.
âYouâre bleeding.â
I had to touch my nose, my lips â heâd left a cut at the very corner, already swollen. I could lick it now to taste my own blood, the shock of pain frightfully clear.
How would I explain it to my father? There was a decent chance he wouldnât notice, but it didnât hurt to prepare for every alternative.
âYou promise you wonât let it happen again?â I wouldnât explain unless he pushed. The lack of clarification allowed forâŚambiguity in interpretation.
He drew closer, leaning over me, close enough that I could feel the chill that seemed to ooze from his body. But he didnât touch me directly. He so rarely did. âOh, of course. I promise.â
âI promise to leave you alone.â
His smile was wider, sharper. âI promise to let you off the hook, then.â
âI promise.â They were just words. Just noise. I could barely even remember why I was saying them. Because then he was leaving, and then I was alone, and then I had to deal with the cut on my lip and the bruise on the back of my head. And the dreams. Always the dreams.
++
We still had to go to school. I say âhadâ because I willingly attended, though it was usually a waste of time, and he âhadâ to attend because Yugi attended. I donât think Yugi ever missed a day of school in his life. He had the kind of diligence youâd want in an office drone.
It was easy enough to find Yugi. It was shockingly easy to get him alone. I think Yugi knew to be wary of me, insofar as everyone gave Seto Kaiba a wide berth, but when I cornered him, he didnât run. I wondered if he had any survival instincts at all.
Sure enough, he braced himself when I grabbed his collar. However, when I tried to aim his head at the wall, his body lashed out, a hand slamming against the wall to resist me. His other hand tangled in my outer shirt, giving him enough leeway to avoid the actual thrust of my arm.
âYou donât want this here, Kaiba.â
âDonât I?â God, he was so short. Even like this. âTell me.â
âTwo teachers down the hall. Another student, in the other room.â He held the body so strangely: his eyes flicked as he identified the possible witnesses, but there was no twitching in the hands or shoulders to reflect his heightened awareness. I released him, but he didnât go away, and I grinned.
âYou could do better,â he chided. I took a step backwards, into the darkness of the corridor, and he followed.
âOf course I could. Donât want to show my hand too soon. Need to keep you guessing.â Iâd started dropping subjects. Grammar was my first victim in the coming massacre. âIf I did thisââ
This time I aimed for his shoulder, and he side-stepped only a moment before contact. Obviously he had no experience: if Iâd been going for points, I could have scored two within the first five seconds. But he was focused first on dodging, deflecting my attempted throws and preventing me from cornering him fully.Â
Iâll admit, it came as a surprise when he gripped me with both hands. It threw me off enough that I didnât resist. When he drove a knee into my gut, it hurt enough to make me breathless, and he hissed directly into my ear as he held me there.
âYouâre going to hurt yourself, Kaiba.â
âRather let you do it first.â The comfort of ambiguity. I closed my eyes as he slammed a shoulder into my sternum, feeling the impact as he drove me against the wall. It reawakened the old bruise at the back of my skull, and I tried not to let the throb of pain take over too far.Â
âYouâll get whatâs coming.â He threatened, he was good at threatening, and the sharp spike of pain was sweet on my tongue. Iâd dream about him tonight, I knew that. And if he had any courage, heâd ignore Yugiâs needs long enough to track me down. But he wasnât ready for that.
He was breathless too, panting as he backed away. Conversation at the end of the hallway distracted him, making him lose focus. That was more frustrating than his dodges and evasions from before. âNext time, Kaiba. Next time, weâll do it properly.â
âCanât wait.â I lifted a hand to my mouth, but there wasnât any broken skin this time: the only souvenir was the new bruise.Â
I was marked by him, a target on my back. But thatâs the way I wanted it. At some point, Iâd mark him too.
++
He found me at KaibaLand.
Well, Iâd invited him in. But, you know. Details.
I canât describe what it was when he came for me. I was surrounded by workers, consultants desperate for my attention, and heâd gotten through the first layer when I stopped him. I think Isono was terrified for me: he should have been more worried about Yugi.
âYour fatherâs dead.â He was breathless, panting. I wondered how long heâd been in control. His eyes were so large, his pupils blown. âYouâre in charge of KaibaCorp and your fatherâs dead ââ
âWeâre still mourning his loss.â I could just about hold him, his hands gripping my wrist in a death grip. âIsono, this isâŚa friend from school. Can we have a moment?â
âUh. Sure thing, Mr. Kaiba. Câmon, boys, move it along.â Isono tried to herd the others away, ushering them to another point along the concrete foundation. It was a pathetic attempt, but Yugiâs body was going to do something drastic if I didnât stop it.Â
âDid you kill him?â
I laughed. I couldnât help it. So many people, dozens and dozens of people, had looked into my eyes and shied away from that question. The board knew what had happened: I didnât like them, but I could respect their honesty. No one else knew. And then for this person, this half-alive thing, to march up to me and demand an answer? I laughed.
âWe donât like to talk about these tawdry little exchanges of power. Stays in the family, you know?â
âWas it for me?â
Now heâd gone too far. My smile froze, and I twisted my hand to grip his collar. We were getting good at this: I donât think Isono could tell what was happening. âNot everything I do is for you.â
âIâm not going to punish you for it. Your father had nothing to do with me, Iâm not interested in revenge for him.â
âI didnât think you were.â Now the fire had turned to ash in my mouth, a sour sense of defeat. I hated that. âYou thought this little game was for all the marbles? Youâre a distraction. A detour. This, all this, is the real game.â
For the first time, he seemed to notice the foundation being laid, the concrete poured into huge squares. I hope it shocked him. âWhat are you going to do?â
âYouâre just going to have to wait and find out.â I let him go and he backed off, apparently thrown. There werenât any sweet goodbyes, no final threats. He just left, probably to get Yugi to safety before switching places.
I already wanted him back. To pound his face into the dirt, to hold him in one of the squares and let the concrete fill in around us. Immortalize us together.Â
I could taste something on my tongue, but it wasnât enough. I wanted blood.Â
++
When I saw Yugi at school, heâd wave at me. I could feel him staring, but he never approached. He was never brave enough to come for me. It was only the other one that would dare to come close.
I knew not to push the boundaries too far. I could go up to their little glee club during lunch, and the others would flee with a simple confirmation from Yugi. Heâd send them off, and we would have aâŚconversation. But it wasnât enough, and it was just a waste of our time. We needed true privacy to get to the real game.Â
I tried to stay away for a stretch of time, just to prove I could handle it. I didnât need him. I made it for a full week, then two, and I was proud of that.Â
It just meant that the next time we saw each other, there was hair ripped out. Bruises on both sides, for once. We still played, yes, we allowed each other the premise of the game, but I preferred the actual combat. I think he knew that. I hope he knew that.
It wasnât until Iâd finished KaibaLand that it finally came together. I didnât even have to threaten Yugi. He just came to me, and thatâs when I knew.
Iâd been so caught up in making him come to me. Dragging him, kicking and screaming, to my side. But then he just came willingly, because I had him.Â
I donât know who lunged first. I think it was him. But that is a convenient fiction, and sometimes, I do want to try being honest.Â
His fingers clenched around my hair. My hands wrapped around his neck. When we fell, he was under me, but he fought with the power of a demon. I had many advantages, but his raw energy was hard to resist.
There were threats on both sides, snarling whispers and half-finished insults. He scratched at me, leaving marks on my cheek, and I bit his neck hard enough to feel him twitch.Â
This, I know was his idea. I know it was his, because Iâd never had the thought before. But as I braced him against the floor, just about to push away, he used both hands to pull my head toward his and smashed his teeth against mine.
It wasnât what I was expecting. He was still so cold, almost alien, but he didnât do any of thatâŚmeandering Iâd seen people do with their tongues. He just used his teeth, like a wolf. I could feel where heâd knocked against my lip, but when he adjusted himself, he actually took my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down.
If Iâd known a suitable curse, I would have cursed. I groaned, I think, or tried to shout, but since my lip was still between his teeth it was hard to get any words out. Besides, itâs not that I wanted him to stop. It just hurt.Â
He groaned too, and there was something warm in my mouth. He released my lip and sealed us together, letting me taste my own blood again as I swallowed it and swallowed him.
I donât know if he needed to breathe. But I suppose Yugiâs body needed to breathe. So he would tear away to gasp in a breath, and I could manage to get a sliver of air for myself. His hands moved, gripping my shoulders, and then he reared back to headbutt me directly in the eye.
This time I could curse. He slipped out from under me and rolled away, leaving me to one side as he scrambled to his feet. It wasnât like him to run: I wanted to scream at him, to shout at him to come back. But I was out of breath for some reason, unable to form words properly, and heâd disappeared out the door before I could muster the energy.Â
Just like last time, Iâd be left with a swollen lip, and probably a black eye. It meant that the press release tomorrow was going to be hell. The media managers would be pissed, and theyâd want to cover me in makeup to hide the evidence. Iâd planned to open KaibaLand for months now, ever since Gozaburoâs death, and now the opening would be ruined by a damn fat lip.
Even so, laying back on the floor, I couldnât help but smile.Â