Nightwing’s concealed eyes widened in fear. He took a step back from the treacherous predator.
Nightwing (trembling): Please, no.
The villain tilted their head down, smirking with enough evil energy that Raven almost vomited from the vile thoughts.
Villain (mischievous tone): You lied to me.
Nightwing (nervously shaking his head): I did no such thing!
The villain leered, staring at Nightwing with hungry, demented eyes. Nightwing kept his fists clenched, ready to fight, until the woman spoke.
Villain (low, failing to sound sexy): Let me get s a sip!
Wonder Woman (disgusted): What-
Superman (flabbergasted): The-
Batman (enraged): THE FUCK DID SHE JUST SAY?!
Beast Boy: She's been making nasty advances to him for three weeks! We told you all that! Assholes!
Superman: Oh that's the creep? Batman, you left out the part she was six feet tall!
Batman: There was a lot going on. She wasn't saying the shit she is now! I was- Nightwing said he'd deal with her!
Nightwing shook his head, terrified of the woman. This was Mirage, this was Tarantula. He wanted to fight her, but she was a monster at the foot of his bed in a darkly lit room, and he was too scared to run. Starfire calmly removed her earrings and handed them to Cyborg.
Nightwing (nervous, fearful stammering): We can handle this like adults.
The villainous woman cackled softly, leering at Nightwing once more. Her tall, muscular body made Nightwing gulp nervously.
Villain: You dirty boy.
Nightwing 'eeped' in fear, taking a step back. He looked at Batman, desperately seeking a rare form of protection.
Nightwing: Papa, get me out of here! I’m serious! Instant transmission! SHE'S SCARING-
The villain charged toward Red Hood, wrapping her arm around his waist and yeeting him like a football across the stadium field. Nightwing screamed, slamming into a nearby wall and sliding to the ground.
Nightwing (joking around to comfort himself):Well... I found my pen... it jabbed my hip.
Nightwing moaned in pain, remaining on the ground.
Raven (to the predator): There is a special circle in hell for you and those nasty thoughts! Ew!
Starfire sighed, hands on her hips.
Starfire: It is like some people exist to be punching bags.
Cyborg: Mm, go defend your man.
Starfire nodded, floating up and silently flying over while Nightwing stayed on the ground.
Nightwing (dizzy): I wanted to fight bad guys, not a failed YouTuber turned predator!
Villain: Once I’m done with you, you’ll be my bitch!
Nightwing (knowing his girlfriend was about to defend him): Don’t bet on that.
Starfire flew over to the villainess, her hands and eyes glowing with green solar hot plasma and rage.
Starfire: You will be my female dog! Get over here!
Starfire punched the villain, then started slamming her body into the ground as if fighting a ragdoll. Raven flew over and helped him to his feet.
Raven: I’m not even joking, the thoughts in her head about you are on par with me watching those nasty fetish videos. I am so sorry.
Nightwing: I don’t doubt that, and I’m used to this. Ow. Give her hell, Starfire.
Raven helped Nightwing back over to Batman, while Cyborg recorded the fight since this was the only villain they had to deal with for the day. Beast Boy hurried over to Nightwing.
Beast Boy: Where the hell were you, Batman?!
Batman: W-what?
Beast Boy: This man was dealing with a whole predator, and you just stood over here and brooded! Shame on you! Defend him, he’s a victim!
Batman: It all happened quickly. Give me a break.
Beast Boy: The universe wants me to let this slide, so I will. But you better comfort your son! Damn it! What is it with this family of emos?
Beast Boy stomped off, losing his temper with Batman. Raven passed Nightwing’s arm to Batman and flew over to her boyfriend.
Raven: That was hot. Oh, I got me a good man!
Raven flew off, leaving Batman and Nightwing. Batman sighed exhausted but kept hold of his son.
Batman: Why did he metaphorically say fuck me for? I would’ve hit her too. Equal rights, equal fights when it comes to that. Besides that point, son, are you okay?
Nightwing: Physically, no. Mentally, I’m fine. Papa, I need a day off after this.
Batman: I can honor that. I’ll also deal with the R. Kelly villain.
Nightwing: Miranda Sings works too.
Batman: I have no idea who that is, but I’ll use it. When Starfire is done, um, scolding Miranda, I don’t like what she’s said or how she’s been talking to you. Villain or not, half the quips she threw out weren’t even quips.
Nightwing: Thank you! I thought I was overreacting.
Batman: You weren’t. Wonder Woman, break up Starfire—
Wonder Woman (rushing forward): Hold her, Starfire, and I’ll give her a good lashing!
Nightwing: Aww, she’s beating her up for me too. Papa, I feel so special!
Batman chuckled dryly, agreeing and helping his son find a safe spot to rest.
