#probably offensive

[eyelash-stealer]

Connor *high as hell when he hears some weeb speaking Japanese*: me no hablas Nintendo dude

[ask-old-burns]

Well, fuck. Youuu... Ok?

He just stares at you, silently with a blank expression on his face. Until he broke the silence with a sudden movement and yelling.

“COME HERE, YOU FUCKING SLUT!” His limbs and eyes quickly turn into a dark shade, then he grabbed you using one of his mutated arms. Oh shit.

“You- YOU. I HAVE NEVER LIKED YOU. NOBODY EVER HAS. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” With that, he proceeds to rip one of your limbs off with his other arm and shove your amputated arm deep down your throat to the point where breathing was almost impossible. Ouch.

(1/10)

[ananthemadrowned]

Wow look a first post I might do some asks or something later! :DD

[milk-noose]

Fictionkin Rant

alright, this is a fictionkin Rant - don’t read this shit if you’re easily offended about doubles and all that shit. Shout out to the cool fictionkin people tho, lmao.

~~~Beep boop, watch out i get a n g e r~~~

aHEM. if you’re a fictionkin account, don’t make a fucking ‘byf’ thing, unless you are making it so 60 year old men or women don’t follow your fucking blog or some shit. There is going to be doubles, fucking - one or more person is going to be fictionkin with Rainbow Dash from MLP or Arlo Dittmam from Magic Funhouse, it’s literally pretty fucking normal. You don’t see therians or otherkin freaking the fuck out because someone is the same breed of wolf or same type of dragon??

Yes - you’re kin with that character, you happen to relate to them to a point where you feel you are them, i have the s a m e thing. but there’s going to be multiple people with the s a m e kin, it’s n O R m a l. So why restrict them from following you?? They literally just like what you post and maybe wanna speak to you?? They are the same kin, get over it, you aren’t physically that character nor did you create them - do NOT restrict 'doubles’ from following your account, the character you’re kin with does not even belong to you.

thERES - THERES ALSO PEOPLE THAT ROLEPLAY AS THEIR FICTIONKIN-TYPES AND THEN THINK THAT THE CHARACTER BELONGS TO T H E M

let me get this straight, small and inexperienced fictionkin. i understand you are kin with said character, however you should be fully aware you are not that character in the flesh. yes, past lives etc – but literally all you remember is cannon, because that’s all the ORIGINAL CREATOR gave you to work with. the character does not belong to you; you cannot claim the character as you in the flesh or your own character. You cannot claim that you, and only you, are the character. you cannot restrict same-kin to follow you, just because they have the same relation to said character. so stop with the 'byf’ kintype bullshit and let people follow who they want, even if they happen to have the same fictionkin-type as you.

[angusmcdonaldenthusiast]

me: *pours milk in a cup*

someone: that is offensive how dare you this is whitewashing you white piece of scum

me: *puts chocolate powder into milk*

someone: that is some good shit keep it up bro

[randomspider]

When I was little I had to read the Bible a lot and I usually just imagined that god was just trolling Everyone

“Hey snake..I’m gonna tell them not to eat this fruit, lol you go tell them to eat it, let’s see what happens”

“hey psst kill your son……….NAH LOL IM JK”

“hey im gonna make this guy super strong, but his weakness is a bad haircut LMAO”

“Sup Mary you pregnant now lol”

“hey buddy can you build a real big boat for two of every animal in existence? I wanna reset my save, but I don’t wanna delete my characters, thanks”

[angriest-ginger]

Please enjoy this collection of weird shit that I’ve said, with very little context.

I have been writing this stuff down for around three years.

"Don't investigate, dude. Just burn the house down. Just burrrrrn it down."

"Canibilism is always funny."

"You don't need proof for an ass kicking."

"Fucking eat it before it eats you.*" (*about a ferbie)

"Its not dead, its just a slug."

"Not everybody has a porn star vagina."

"Rip-rop right in the nip-nop."

"You can't just assume that I'm not here to dance."

"I hope you have nightmares about eggs."

"They're gonna tell you to kill the president."

"There are some shapes that shouldn't be able to exist and that is one of them."

"There are so many things that I could compare that to, but I'm not gonna."

"You have a limited amount of pee, I have unlimited punches."

"*sobbing into ravioli*"

"There’s a murder shack on cock hill."

"i don't want to think about snail vaginas."

"Immediate hell."

"I feel like we're gonna get moosed."

"Okay, he's talking about fucking the moose."

"Run. Him. Over."

"Fan the hammer with his hook hand."

"I'm gonna get murdered by mountain people."

"I'm gonna get murdered by the rangers too."

"Sis, look at his nostrils."

"Everybody in Montreal has rabies."

"Treadeau scissor kicked her in the face with knowledge."

"You have something to say? You wanna tussle? You wanna go? Fisticuffs. I'll freaking rip your mustache off."

"Well, what am I going to do about that?*" (about a cosmic fucking monstrosity)

"I can guarantee that this is where things get shitty."

"Jeff you insufferable fuck."

"Is that a butthole?? Ah- No, that’s an urchin."

"Its nothing personal, I just like snapping necks."

"They're all wearing tutus and there are fifty of them so they're dancing a swan lake of death."

"Can you imagine how hairy his knuckles are?"

"Ah gross. I hate it when a baby bites me in the eyes."

"Its not my fault you put your head in the kick zone."

"Oh, you know... Just profiting off of mass murder."

"Give her lungs. Giver her a pair of lungs."

"Everybody gets mad when I start talking about prolapsed anuses."

"I am now an orange whore."

"I hope you have dreams about prolapsed anuses."

"Its when your intestines fall out your butthole."

"My inherent mistrust in strangers is now valid."

"Stop distracting me, I'm looking at manga."

"Everything's better when you add the word 'diddily'."

"They say you shouldn't share prescription medication. I say, don't tell me what to do."

"Spite, revenge and being really gay. Those are my three driving forces."

"Is that weird? Is it weird that I want someone to belt out the united states national anthem while murdering Donald Trump?"

"OH SAY CAN YOU SEE- BANG- BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHT- BANG"

"There are so many people I should have just punched"

"Don't trust everything you see on TV cause you might end up pissing off someone from another planet."

"I don't bribe people, I get bribed."

"Arson is always an option."

"With the power of physical violence, anything is possible."

"Society is crumbling"

"I'm down for every game that involves dying children."

"I hate yogurt and I hate it even more when its in a tube."

"This baby is like sandpaper!"

"Now I don't throw the term 'squid jizz' around often..."

"You can be a marine biologist and a sociopath at the same time."

"I always wondered where birds kept their dicks."

"I would eat almost any animal from Australia."

"Keep your eyes forwards mom, costco is a dangerous place."

"I do many gross bodily things in costco."

"The raW UNDISTURBED SURFACE OF THE PEANUTBUTTER."

[tinetravel-blog]

Thoughts on orphans

Orphanages are great, I mean one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.