#processing disability

[usernamesarehard1]

I'm supposed to be learning how to have a career and life, and in a way I WANT that. But my brain can't do it. It just cant. I've had this same problem my whole life. I cant fucking do it. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm capable of it and that it's just harder for me, but I don't know if I am capable of it anymore. Life is just feeling so pointless. I literally can't do the things I'm learning in college. I don't know if I can do this. And if i can't, then what's the point?

Everyone keeps saying that I'm not disabled in that specific way, but what if I am? What if I literally can't have a career or an apartment of my own or anything.

I WANT to be successful, but every day it feels more and more impossible.

[deadlydelicious]

maybe don't correct my use of the term 'learning disability' to 'learning difference' right in the middle of me talking about how my learning disability makes job hunting harder...

i'm actively telling you how my invisible disability creates an unconscious bias in written assignments (overly formal or pedantic language often gets flagged as being AI) and social situations, and you correct my term for my own disability?! to a weak ass term that is often used to minimize the stress and impact of said disability?! COULD YOU NOT BRO

like I ALSO hate the term learning disability (for the learning part though. I feel it's part of what perpetuates the whole 'learning disabilities only affect children' phenomena. I prefer the term processing disability/disorder) but that's my fucking term for my fucking disability, and redrawing the line as 'learning difference' is part of what perpetuates the belief that learning disabilities are not 'real' disabilities that need accommodations

[andinuffishthought]

I can’t work in the library because when I am actually making good progress on homework I am still all over the place

(like searching the difference between pâtisserie and boulangerie, due to a tictok I saw the other day and I’m doing french homework, THEN learning there is another word for bakery, viennoiserie, beginning to read an article about it before remembering I have a deadline for this homework. I also did some research on the areas of the 5 largest counties in my state.)

I also listen to loud music, which I could do with headphones but I sing 1/4 to 1/2 of it, at random intervals.

And I talk a lot and loud I talk about what I’m doing and think and all the little things I don’t understand because talking outloud helps keep me focused.

If I’m quiet, I’m probably not actually getting anything done, or not processing it well enough to stay in my brain...

[calicostorms]

I feel a very specific and unsure grief about my disability while I'm starting to process the fact that I am physically disabled. I'm mourning a future that I planned for, in which I was able-bodied and not chronically ill, and many of the aspects I planned for are no longer accessible to me as my physical functioning deteriorates and I struggle with mobility and pain.

I'm grieving the fact that I feel my family will never love me fully, unconditionally, due to my disability, and that I will always have to hide aspects of myself from them in a way that pains me so they feel comfortable. Already as I grow older, my mom is reminding me not to speak about my disability around the rest of the family often, as if it is something to be ashamed of, and I feel a sickness in my chest at the idea of hiding large parts of who I am from them to make able-bodied people more comfortable.

I am grateful for the community which I already have, but fear for the future and my struggles with disability. I feel my mobility falling more out of reach, and I ache for the days when I was able to walk longer distances without the feeling of my joints compressing and my body aching. I fear my disability, as much as I try not to, due to internalized abelism, and I find it's hard to be sure of where to put my feet these days as I take the next steps forward in my journey.

[xfictionistruthx]

Intelligence vs. Value

Intelligence does not Dictate Value What is it exactly that makes someone feel superior to someone else? Just because someone is slower at things does not make them less intelligent. And even if you know more then someone else or get all of the answers right, that doesn't mean that you are better than the other person. ~Sincerely, From everyone who's tired of being looked down upon for trying their best and yet still not meeting societal expectations.