#processing things

[localareamom]

I don't think I've share here, but on my mind for a long time is my friend? Acquaintance? Boss? Joe. I've referred to him in passing before, he looms very large in our neighborhood. He's the mayor of Passyunk. He's on all the local organizations. He started my civic association. He created the rec center. He's on the board of the local Catholic high school and the Bok building and he's a mean, gossipy old school queen even though he's like 10 years older than me. He bullied me into joining the civic, and writing for the local online news publication, and every year we'd go to the flower show together. Anyway, he got brain cancer, which was quickly dealt with, but then it came back and progressed and he rapidly went downhill. He's moved into hospice and hasn't been able to communicate. He casts such a large shadow and he's such a personality and things are in limbo while he declines to the inevitable. The last conversation we had was him wanting to dictate and have me write his memoirs - one clean and one dirty, and of course that won't happen now, and all of these stories and neighborhood gossip and connections will die with him. Death comes for us all, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. IDK. He's not dead yet but he is gone.

[dreams-in-daylight]

Sometimes selfcare looks like getting stoned outside on a lightly rainy October night. Listening to the crickets chirping cheerily and the soft rushing of distant traffic humming through the cool air. The warmth of passing car lights sometimes lazily driving past shining against the chill inky night.

Watching Solar Opposites with my cat and generous amount of a beloved treat that will spoil by tomorrow and feel too scandalized to just resign to the trash with so much of their beloved neighbors.

[billiejean485]

Current emotional state:

[sakuramotion]

everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and i learn, whatever state i may be in, therein to be content. — helen keller.

[rin-the-shadow]

Sometimes I find it easier to make posts about my headcanons and interpretations of things, but sometimes I find it much easier to articulate my headcanons within fanfictions.

Does anyone else ever have this experience?

[jennfercheck]

IMAGE OF ME LOSING MY MIND

[girlonastring]

So I’ve spent my two days off essentially asleep or in bed because my brain is processing with anxiety and a poor sleep ethic. I can’t sleep, and then I just don’t want to be awake.

In the between hours, anxiety and reading FanFiction to Get Away From My Head.

Lovely.

Least tomorrow I’ll be busy with work.

[gittetj]

You know that feeling when you’ve written a story about a difficult subject and then afterwards you look at it and realize it’s basically just you hardcore projecting and talking to yourself?

It’s a weird feeling.