Needlessly philosophical airport security questionnaire.
“Is your flight for business or leisure purposes?”
“Have you flown with this airline before?”
“When was the last time you renewed your passport?”
“Have you ever been placed on a watch list by any law enforcement, security or intelligence agencies.”
“Do you know who you are?”
“Are you who you say you are?”
“WHEN will you lie to us?”
“WHY will you lie to us?”
“Are you carrying any potentially hazardous materials or goods?”
“Does the sum of your lived experience outshine that of the lowest downtrodden beggar?”
“Have you ever felt a desire to flee?”
“What is your existence?”
“Do you claim to know more than you actually do? Are you aware of that which you don’t?”
“Have you been barred from visiting any particular countries or locations at any point between the past ten years and today?”
“Are you aware of why you are currently being questioned?”
“Is anything mankind ever says or does truly unnatural in any way?”
“How often do you fly or otherwise travel abroad on a regular basis?”
“Do you accept this impermanence?”
“Were you ever marked as being a potential flight risk at any point in the past or before now?”
“Have you engaged in any forms of smuggling, trafficking or fraud?”
“Are you or have you been affiliated with any known extremist or terrorist groups?”
“Have you ever now or at any other point felt a vague sense of ennui accompanied by a feeling of indescribable yearning for a past that is no longer, accompanied by a sensation of melancholic unfulfillable longing?”
“Have you ever recognised your own capacity for great evil, but also for good? If not either?”
“Have you ever made this face >:{?”
“Do you have any disabilities, allergies, disorders or health conditions?”
“Have you ever felt a desire to renounce the wider world and live a life away from society as a wild man or a hermit?”
“Do you understand the difference between the known truth, the ecstatic truth, and the subjective truth?”
“Are you subscribed to any frequent-flyer packages?”
“How many times would you say a man dies? And when is he truly, finally dead?”
“Do you have any dual citizenship?”
“Have you been to this airport before or not?”
“Do you know that you are real?”
“Have you ever been questioned at an airport before now?”
“What was the last airline you flew with?”
“Could there ever be anything greater or lesser than this?”
“How many forms of ID do you have on you?”
“Are you scheduled for any vaccinations or other medical appointments now or at any point in the next month?”
“Do you require an interpreter or translator of any kind?”
“Can we only be defined by our mistakes even if we commit ourselves to a lifetime of righteous deeds and service?”
It sounds funny to me at least.
