You had just got back from a day with the doctor and you were exhausted. you crawl into bed without showering. you don't even care at this point that you're covered in dirt and your own blood, you're just so god damn tired. you lie down on your black and blue sheets, wrapping the covers around you so that you are burritoed in. You stare at the wall in front of you, willing sleep to overcome you. but it doesn't. three hours later, you're still there, staring at the wall. you sigh and turn to face the other side of the bed. you hated this part of the anxiety. the insomnia. no matter how tired you were, it always snuck up on you and hit you like a ton of bricks. and you were so tired of it. why were you like this? why the fuck was your brain chemistry so off that you couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, didn't want to do anything? any little thing made you angry and that scared you. you were pissed off. at what, you weren't sure. life. the universe. yourself. you rubbed your hands over your face and through your hair. "fuck it" you think. you head to the kitchen in the tardis, looking for some food. you see some left over pizza from yesterday and you grab two slices and head back to your room. after you finish the pizza, you decide that since you're up, you might as well bathe, since you feel gross anyways. you turn on the tub and let it fill to the top as you get undressed. once you're in the bath, the tiredness washes over you again and suddenly you can't keep your eyes open. why this always happens to you, you don't know. you struggle to wake yourself to finish cleaning up and then collapse into bed, hoping the tiredness didn't leave after that short of a time.
the next morning you wake to the sun coming in through your window, and music blasting somewhere on the other side of the tardis. the tardis itself didn't have windows, but the doctor knew that you liked the sunshine, so she programmed the tardis to shine a light that resembled the sun into your room when it was time to wake up. you ignored it this time and rolled back over, pulling the sheets over your head to block the light. that's when the door came swinging open. she stood there in bright yellow pajamas , a blue robe, and red slippers, with coffee in one hand, and breakfast in the other. "good morning!" she shouted, a grin taking up her entire face. she was radiating sunshine. you loved that about her. but right now, you wanted nothing more than to sleep forever. the doctor noticed the shift in the mood and quickly set down her things on the night stand. as daft as she was sometimes, you were glad that she could see your anxiety. "hey," she whispered cautiously. the tardis seemed to sense the mood too and immediately shut off the lights and turned down the music. the doctor sat on the edge of the bed and reached for your back. "hey, what's wrong? is it a bad time?"
"I just want to sleep. please leave me alone, doctor."
she smiled awkwardly. "do you want me to stay in here with you? I could do my work in here, quietly. or I could read to you. or just lay here with you. whatever you need." she started talking faster, she did that when she was nervous. you took a minute to answer her but finally told her to stay with you in the bed. the older woman did as she was told and climbed in behind you. she wrapped herself around your body, spooning you. you liked this. her body felt so warm, you even managed a smile when you felt both of her hearts beating. "I'm sorry," you manage. it comes out as almost a whisper, your voice starting to shake. "sorry for what?" she asks. "for this. I'm so fucked up." "hey, no you're not. turn around and look at me," she demanded. you obey, looking into her bright green eyes. her blonde hair was curly today, and falling into her face. tears started running down your cheeks now. you didn't know why she put up with you, but she did. and she always made you feel better somehow. "look at me. you are not fucked up. you have anxiety. that's all. its normal. it happens. it doesnt mean you are fucked up." she moved a strand of hair from your face and put it behind your ear. "such a pretty thing," she said. with that, you burst into tears and collapsed into her arms, allowing her to hold you until the pain went away. you put your face in her chest, and she rested her head against yours, stroking your red hair, that she was still really jealous of. she started humming something, but it didn't sound familiar to you. it was probably gallifreyian or something. you finally stop crying and lift your face back up to look into hers. "thank you," you say as you squeeze her body tightly against your own. she smiles and runs her finger across one of your eyebrows. she always did that. you didn't know why you liked it, but you did. it made you feel peaceful. then, all of a sudden your eyes snap open wide. you are horrified. you just remembered that you fell into bed last night without putting anything on... and the doctor had wrapped her while body around you. she probably didnt even notice it. in fact, she didn't. her face scrunched up as she asked you what was wrong. "um, I don't know if you noticed, but I kind of don't have clothes on...."
"huh?" her eyes glanced down to your body as she realized what was happening. "oh my god. I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry" her face turned bright red and she struggled with her words. she was always awkward about these things, and you felt a little bad for bringing it to her attention. "I can move," she hurried, "if- if you want." you smile cheekily at her, for some reason she looked so fucking hot right then. god you could just.. mm. you decide not to do anything this time though and you get up to throw on some clothes. "can you hand me my coffee?" you ask, leaving the poor alien sitting there on your bed, still stunned about what had just happened.
