#ptsd tw.

[jjcre8]

𝙼𝙾𝙾𝙽 𝙺𝙰-𝚈𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙶 𝚊𝚜 𝙻𝙸𝙼 𝙹𝙾𝙾-𝙺𝚈𝚄𝙽𝙶 & 𝙲𝙷𝙰 𝙴𝚄𝙽-𝚆𝙾𝙾 𝚊𝚜 𝙻𝙴𝙴 𝚂𝚄-𝙷𝙾.

TRUE BEAUTY. (2018)

[hollustu-ascended]

･˖·✦  𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄.

Since  we  are  incorporating  stars  into  Sigyn's  lore  ,  one  of  the  ways  I  found  to  do  this  involves  her  appearance.   Through  my  research  ,  it  was  brought  to  my  attention  that  stars  change  appearance  and  color  over  time  due  to  their  life  cycle.         Because  I  enjoy  the  idea  of  muses  that  can  subtly  change  their  appearance  ,  I've  decided  to  incorporate  this  into  my  lore  for  Sigyn  ,  with  a  few  differences  in  order  to  make  it  work  with  my  story.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄:   i  will  be  selective  on  which  verses  i  use  this  for  ,  but  it  will  be  a  permanent  piece  of  lore  to  her  main  canon.

Sigyn's  original  face  claim  ,  is  Emilia  Clarke.   This  face  claim  takes  up  the  time  of  her  lift  up  until  the  events  of  Infinity  War.         When  referring  to  comic  or  norse  verses  it'd  due  to  either  Loki's  death  or  the  punishment  of  Jarn.   Throughout  this  time  ,  she  has  this  more  youthful  visage  ,  with  more  tendency  to  a  brighter  side  to  her.   She's  not  been  so  jaded  by  the  line  of  events  in  quick  succession  leading  to  the  massive  trauma  she  underwent.

Sigyn's  next  appearance  ,  Emma  D'Arcy.   Whereas  stars  simply  change  appearance  based  on  their  life  cycle  ,         in  Sigyn's  case  we  will  be  basing  this  off  of  a  massive  amount  of  stress.   With  the  loss  of  her  husband  ,  all  her  children  taken  by  Thanos'  plan  ,  and  the  death  of  one  of  her  dragons  in  the  process  of  the  fight  against  the  Titan  ,  she  fell  into  a  massive  state  of  depression.   She  would  work  through  this  over  the  next  year  after  ,         but  not  without  an  effect  on  her  that  would  be  everlasting.   By  the  time  her  children  were  returned  to  her  ,  and  her  husband  back  from  his  journey  back  to  the  world  of  the  living  ,         she  would  not  look  like  that  woman  who  had  been  mother  and  partner  to  those  in  her  life.   While  eventually  she  came  back  to  her  full  power  ,  for  about  six  months  found  her  ability  to  use  magic  being  extremely  lessened.

[drekkavacarc]

𝐓𝐖𝐎  -  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄  ;      ‘  y’were  dreamin’.’  The  familiar  look  in  their  eyes  lacks  HARVEY’s  soft  watery  gaze  ,  voice  too  hoarse.  ‘  go  back  to  sleep.’  Far  be  it  from  TWO-FACE  to  hesitate  in  anything  but  a  hand  comes  to  run  through  her  hair  briefly  before  he  pulls  away  .   ﹐   @halfdent.

             Had  they  been  awake  ,  they  would  have  seen  the  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒  that  they  were  safe.   They  would  have  seen  the  signs  of  𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄  surrounding  them.   But  instead  ,  stuck  in  their  own  nightmares  …  They  weren't  in  Gotham.   They  weren't  with  them.   Trapped  in  their  head  ,  all  they  could  see  was  that  base.

❛❛  Keep  going  Anya!  Again!  ❜❜

             Sharp  commands  rung  through  the  room  ,  echoing  like  it  was  coming  from  someone  𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑.   When  eyes  shifted  to  focus  on  the  other  asset  in  the  center  of  the  ring  with  her  …  It  wasn't  just  another  asset.   It  was  𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐄.

             A  scenario  they  had  been  forced  into  time  &  time  again.   Project  Legacy  couldn't  𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄  decent.   Defection  couldn't  be  tolerated.   A  lesson  needed  to  be  taught.   One  that  would  work  for  Anya  at  least  for  a  very  long  time.   Twin  eyes  looked  up  from  a  battered  face.   Blood  covering  any  other  features  that  might  reveal  the  identity  of  the  child  cowering  at  her  feet.

             Hands  𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑.   Shaking  at  their  sides  until  they  chance  to  look  away  from  their  brother  ,  the  other  half  of  them  ,  &  instead  looking  to  bloody  hands  ,  only  for  them  to  turn  into  a  fist.   It's  hard  to  see.   Hard  to  𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓  even  though  they  know  how  this  plays  out.   They  know  how  this  ends.   They've  been  here  before  …  Many  times.   Hesitation  kicks  in  …  Her  head  shaking  at  him  when  he  begs  her  to  do  as  they  ask.   Tears  that  had  been  held  in  her  heterochromatic  hues  since  they  started  this.

❛❛  I  said  NOW  Asset.   Attack!  ❜❜

             There's  a  stabbing  feeling  in  their  head.   Like  a  𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐋𝐄  being  driven  into  their  temple.   It  hurts  ,  enough  to  knock  their  focus  from  the  defiance  ,  head  shaking  with  the  sharp  headache  now  clouding  their  senses.   It  didn't  matter  now.   Gone  were  the  days  where  a  Soldier  would  come  to  rescue  the  lost  children.   The  Soldier  was  gone  ,  it  was  all  over.   That  switch  𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒  though.   Doing  exactly  as  intended  ,  blocking  everything  except  the  main  directive.   Attack  the  other  asset.   Angry  eyes  stalking  toward  the  badly  beaten  teen  …  Before  eyes  open.

             Eyes  open  ,  &  the  room  they  had  just  been  in  was  𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄.   The  cold  ,  gym  like  room  traded  for  the  space  she  called  home  now.   It  wasn't  the  building  that  made  it  home  …  It  was  them.   Cold  didn't  feel  cold  when  they  were  with  them.   Not  like  it  used  to.   It's  not  the  𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓  nightmare  they've  had  since  meeting  Harvey.   He  was  always  there.   Ready  to  𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃  &  𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓.   Ready  to  protect  against  the  demons  of  their  past  coming  back  to  remind  them  of  their  wrong  doings.

             Except  this  time  …  It's  not  Harvey.   In  the  dark  ,  it  could  be  hard  to  tell.   Often  times  they  have  to  rely  on  𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐒  ,  little  tells  at  who  has  the  driver's  seat  in  any  given  moment.   Sounds  are  the  main  clue  though.   Micro  expressions  being  something  you  have  to  read  just  to  know  who  you're  talking  to.   Harvey's  called  her  an  enigma  before  …  But  he  &  Two  bring  a  whole  new  meaning  to  the  word.   It's  beautiful.   That  𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐋  ,  small  &  soft  ,  but  present  …  Tells  them  all  they  need  to  know  who  it  is.

             Shoulder's  tense.   Waiting  for  some  sort  of  comment  that  will  𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐓𝐄𝐃𝐋𝐘  pull  Harvey  to  come  to  their  defense.   Something  about  being  𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐑  ,  but  instead  there  are  few  words  ,  as  gentle  as  they've  ever  felt  the  alter  ,  combing  a  hand  through  disheveled  brown  locks.   A  hand  reaches  up  ,  feeling  his  hand  𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆.   Not  yet  ,  she  still  needs  that.   A  weathered  hand  grabs  for  his  ,  a  bit  of  insistence  in  the  pressure  used  to  squeeze  his  ,  but  all  she  can  do  is  shake  her  head  while  tears  attempt  to  fall  unseen  under  cover  of  darkness.    ❛❛  𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭  𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞  𝐦𝐲  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬  𝐢𝐟  𝐈  𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐭𝐨.  ❜❜    No  surprise  there.   If  he  had  a  peak  into  her  mind  he'd  understand.    ❛❛  𝐈'𝐦  𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲  𝐈  𝐰𝐨𝐤𝐞  𝐲𝐨𝐮.  ❜❜

[aro-culture-is]

i'm arospec and romance-favorable/neutral and i'm trying to understand other parts of the aromantic community better. i have a friend who is romance-repulsed who gets triggered (like in the ptsd way) by talk of romance. i am wondering if this is a common way for romance-repulsion to manifest or if this is specific to my friend? i can’t really find a lot about this online. i’ve seen some people describing the repulsion more like an "eww" or an anxiety response but I didn’t want to assume things

hi! so, personal background is that we've got an official CPTSD diagnosis and experience romance repulsion (though we do not identify with the romance-repulsed/favorable etc system)

personally, I experience romance repulsion and ptsd-style triggering very very differently. romance repulsion for me is much more of a true feeling of repulsion: it's gross to a degree i find hard to bear. triggers, on the other hand, activate a variety of responses that certainly can't be summed up easily.

i would suggest asking your friend if they're aware of the intensity of their responses - gently, when they have access to a support system. I don't want to assume anything, especially over the internet with a character limited description and anonymity, but your friend sounds like they may have trauma, and it can be easier to call it romance repulsion. people are... tricky, and using a term they know less well can mean more ability to negotiate boundaries than an often loaded term that can be scary to use, like trauma and triggers. assuming that is true - and it may not be! - they may not realize it, and talking about this may provide the opportunity to talk about better coping mechanisms and support for them.

i hope things go well for you and your friend!

- mods Alexander and kee

[fmdyunyeong]

date & time: april 27th, 2018.  /  04:36pm kst. location: outside charm’s dorm ; gangnam — gu, seoul. status: closed.  /  feat. théo kwon. triggers: anxiety  /  panic disorder, addiction, heartbreak, & ptsd.

        three pairs of tiny feet made their way down a long, dark hallway ; fists rising to clear the sleep that was nestled into tear ducts after a solid nine hours of slumber that had came & went. ears were kissed with the soft sobs wailing from a woman so battered, & so bruised that she found herself curled into a BALL OF ANGUISH on the love seat they all rested upon the night prior ; bits & pieces of discarded popcorn still littering the beige — toned carpet from their hours of watching their favorite films before being tucked into bed. the band of brothers clutched hands, & made their way into the stormy weather that invaded their sanctuary, the lack of the radio crooning their favorite songs, & the missing scent of sunny — side up eggs sizzling in the skillets atop the stove surrounding them with severe befuddlement. what scene had just occurred that left their mother in such a state of distress ?? that once smiling visage now plagued with a sadness none of them had witnessed before, or even understood. concealed in her palm was a letter signed by their father, & in it, he explained that he no longer had control over his life ; his gambling addiction wrapping its fingers around his neck in a CHOKEHOLD & finally winning the battle that he’d fought for years. in that moment, all of them came together & wept ; the woman who had devoted her life to her children finding strength in her four little sons, & from that point forward, she promised to raise them to become men that would never, ever leave ; that would never forsake the love they held for their friends, family, & eventual lovers.

        it was like a film began to roll in the overworked caverns of his mind ; memories so long suppressed that the emotions tied with them hadn’t been digested in many, many moons. however, for some peculiar reason, in this moment, the past motions had felt so practiced that he could feel his limbs & his heart lighting ablaze with the flames of yesterday ; the burned bridges being reconstructed as a flicker of history repeated itself right before his pupils. the dark clouds that once infiltrated the cinnamon — hued eyes of his mother now finding a home within his own ; teardrops loaded with that same HEARTACHE & AGONY streaming down his face in a treacherous downpour. supple digits shook as the post — traumatic stress surfaced within his nervous system, his heartbeat pounding so hard against his chest that he felt as though he was going to collapse & fall deceased of cardiac arrest. bellows & sobs broke from swollen lips, his breathing becoming so shallow that his head began to feel impossibly light. inhaling & exhaling deep sighs in hopes to regain some sort of composure, he reached into the pocket of his jeans to retrieve his cell phone ; clumsy fingertips erratic enough that it was exceedingly difficult for him to type out the message he needed to convey, & hopefully, it would be seen quick enough for the necessary actions to be taken. knowing sangmin, he had no doubts that it would reach him immediately, & in only a few mere seconds, he’d be rushing to him with open arms.

( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— hyung i’m outside our building ( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— i can’t breathe & i need help, i need you ( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— i feel frozen & can’t get up without ( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— feeling like i’m going to faint ( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— please come outside, please ???? ( outgoing imessage 💌 my father. ) —— i can’t go inside, i can’t face them

        after each item delivered, yunyeong wrapped his arms around himself & rocked back & forth ; as if he was doing his best to keep himself from falling apart. his whimpering & weeping grew louder, & more intense, but he couldn’t stop himself... & he hoped that no one else besides théo would find him in this tattered state. all that his mind touched upon were the haunting flashbacks of his past, & watching minwoo’s car disappear into the distance, & all the while, those vivid hues of blue that he adored more than anything in the world turned from something beautiful into DESOLATE RUINS OF HEARTBREAK. 

[drekkavacarc]

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘  𝐇𝐀𝐃  𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃  𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘  𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘  𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃  𝐁𝐄  𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓  𝐇𝐈𝐌.  That  he  could  leave  them  at  the  house  without  having  to  worry  or  call  nearly  every  five  minutes.   Anya  didn't  BLAME  Harvey  for  the  nervousness.   Had  the  roles  been  reversed  ,  Anya  couldn't  say  the  idea  of  leaving  a  mentally  delicate  former  assassin  alone  for  eight  hours  was  an  idea  they  would  have  been  comfortable  with.   But  this  was  a  chance  for  Anya  to  show  that  she  could  be  fine.

If  only  they  had  been  right  about  that.

The  new  morning  routine  was  what  they  focused  on  what  he  left.   Walking  the  house  to  make  sure  it  was  still  empty  ,  workout  inside  ,  eat  ,  &  from  there  it  was  usually  ready  whatever  she  could  find  in  the  house  ,  or  sketch  in  the  sketchbook  he  got  after  finding  out  they  had  a  knack  for  drawing.   Most  of  it  had  been  spent  drawing  ,  but  she  alternated  between  the  activities.   TV  was  STILL  something  they  hadn't  managed  to  make  to  try  yet.

It  had  been  while  they  were  sitting  in  the  living  room  ,  the  early  stages  of  a  sketch  of  some  foliage  outside  while  they  let  themselves  zone  out.   The  quiet  was  nice  ,  but  those  watchful  scans  continued  even  while  they  drew.   ALWAYS  VIGILANT  in  case  their  suspicions  ever  came  to  be  true  ,  &  agents  came  to  Dent's  door  after  finding  her.   While  it  wasn't  an  agent  that  caught  their  attention  …  It  had  been  a  delivery  man.   Harmless  ,  any  person  would  see  them  all  the  time.   What  registered  in  Anya's  mind  ,  was  DANGER.

Then  the  doorbell  rang.   Heart  started  pounding  ,  &  her  throat  felt  IMPOSSIBLY  tight  as  eyes  shifted  to  the  kitchen.   Harvey  didn't  keep  guns  ,  but  she  did.   All  hidden  ,  the  locations  only  known  to  them  that  they  had  STASHED  around  the  house  just  in  case.   One  of  them  fastened  under  the  nightstand.   Much  more  effective.

Reaching  for  the  gun  ,  they  made  their  way  to  the  front  door  ,  another  RING  of  the  doorbell  from  the  delivery  man.   Heart  beats  pounded  EVEN  HARDER  ,  LOUDER.   They  were  only  a  few  steps  away  from  the  door  now.   Nobody  was  getting  in  here.

The  door  flung  open  ,  &  the  poor  ,  unsuspecting  man  was  met  with  &  UNFAMILIAR  face  ,  &  gun  drawn  &  ready.   Survival  instincts  well  kicked  in  ,  opposite  blue  &  green  eyes  stared  down  the  young  man.    ❝  WHO  SENT  YOU?!  ❞    Their  voice  was  serious.   DEMANDING  an  answer  before  cocking  the  gun.   The  delivery  man  ,  simply  dropped  the  package  ,  before  running  back  to  the  safety  of  his  truck. 

FUCK!

Reality  sunk  in.   Eyes  watched  as  TERRIFIED  child  as  far  as  the  woman  currently  standing  on  the  front  porch  as  stunned  ..  &  SCARED  as  the  young  man  speeding  down  the  street.   It  wasn't  really  …  It  wasn't  a  THREAT.   It  was  just  a  kid.   Just  a  kid  who  was  doing  his  job.   Hands  shook.   Metal  clinking  as  the  gun  shifted  in  their  hands.   Seconds  later  …  Eyes  began  FRANTICALLY  looking  around  the  street  ,  before  quickly  retreating  inside  before  anyone  else  saw.

From  there  ,  Anya  had  SNAPPED.   The  gun  dropped  to  the  floor  …  Legs  felt  UNSTEADY  &  soon  …  Seeing  the  house  around  her  wasn't  a  task  they  could  complete.   The  rest  …  That  was  something  that  Anya  couldn't  remember  after  it  all  went  black.   They  couldn't  remember  the  BREAKDOWN.   The  single  hole  in  the  wall  from  a  punch  leaving  cuts  on  their  fist  ,  before  retreating  to  the  only  place  they  knew  they  could  get  somewhere  dark  &  cold  …  THE  BASEMENT.

By  the  time  @halfdent  came  home  ,  the  house  was  DARK.   Lights  having  not  been  turned  on  once  the  SUNLIGHT  no  longer  served  it's  purpose  to  light  the  house.   Chairs  shuffled  from  a  STUMBLE  during  Anya's  retreat  to  the  basement  ,  the  door  leading  their  open  ,  &  the  gun  sitting  on  the  floor  near  the  table.   The  missing  person?   Huddled  in  a  corner  ,  knees  squeezed  IMPOSSIBLY  TIGHT  on  the  floor.   Shivers  &  tremors  here  &  there.

[kumihod]

₊˚。ఌ  𝐀-𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆'𝐒  𝐊𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐇𝐎  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐃  𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄.

While  on  Jinhongseom  ,  while  A-Yeong  wasn't  trapped  on  the  island  by  way  of  the  curse  Bu-Young  had  placed  upon  it  to  trap  the  vampire  Hajoon  ,  the  lord  of  the  island  found  his  own  way  of  keeping  the  Kumiho  from  leaving  once  they  had  made  themselves  known  to  him.   Luring  people  to  him  was  important  ,  and  A-Yeong's  ability  to    fool    sorry  travelers  to  the  island  to  become  food  for  the  vampire  among  other  things  ,  required  that  they  not  be  able  to  leave.   So  with  careful  work  he  was  able  to  craft  a  magical  cage  for  the  magical  bead  the  Kumiho  needed  to  use  their  abilities.

It  appears  like  a  simple  necklace  ,  the  pendant  being  a  metal  cage  crafted  to  lock  their  bead  in  place.   It's  still  close  ,  so  theirs  no  trouble  of  not  being  able  to  use  any  of  their  abilities  ,  but  not  without  restrictions.   Blood  magic  used  to  lock  the  pendant  ,  it  was  made    impossible    to  unlock  the  cage  without  the  one  who's  blood  was  needed  to  lock  it  (Hajoon's).   An  added  measure  ,  he  could  not  be  killed  while  the  cage  was  locked  ,  making  his  living  status  another  requirement  in  order  to  remove  it.   Not  that  A-Yeong  would  ever  really  be  able  to  kill  him  due  to  extremely  complex  history  with  one  another.   With  this  device  ,  Hajoon  was  not  only  able  to  keep  the  Kumiho  trapped  with  him  on  the  island  ,  but  was  also  able  to  control  what  powers  A-Yeong  used  ,  and  to  a  degree  when.

Because  of  this  ,  gifts  in  the  form  of  a  necklace  are  not  recommended.   They  still  wear  plenty  of  jewelry  around  their  neck  ,  but  don't  expect  to  see  anything  resembling  a  locket  on  the  chain  ,  and  it's    always    something  they  had  made  especially  for  them  from  trusted  sources.   It's  important  to  know  that  this  was  a  dark  and  traumatic  time  for  A-Yeong.   They  definitely  over  react  when  being  gifted  one  ,  and  you  can  consider  yourself  lucky  if  they  don't  just  run  away  if  presented  with  one.   It's  not  something  they  talk  about  often  ,  so  you'll  have  to  be  someone  they  really  trust  or  work  very  hard  to  get  that  information  out  of  them.

[kkangpa3arch]

▌↳ @uiroun liked for a one-liner starter from Kang Mi-Ra.

The thought of leaving the hotel was a mixed bag. Yes , the incident happened there , but the thought of going somewhere Miro wasn't , was enough to bring back the memories of that night. The loud banging when they stormed in. She was dealing with the nightmares. Dae-Dan helped with it a lot of the time , but standing there hearing her brother plan her return to school was enough to start head shaking. Lips quivering slightly while her hand not currently in a cast balled into a fist out of nerves.

❝ What? No! ❞ He didn't yell , but voice did raise to make sure she was heard as she stepped to follow him. It was sound logic , getting her away from where the danger was made sense. But what made her feel safe had always been with her brother. Not to mention now that the cat was out of the bag so to speak , Mi-Ra would be lying if she said she wasn't worried about going back to school for her brother's sake.

What the hell did his friend get him up to?

❝ My hand isn't even close to being able to be used anyways. ❞ She would just be sitting there watching everyone else progressing with their hands on learning , while she waited for the hope her hand would return to normal. ❝ Oppa , I don't want to go back to school yet. What if I just stay up here? ❞ That wasn't practical. Not long term at least. She knew that , but the scariest thing that happened to her before this had been when her parents died. ❝ I'm not ready to go back yet. I can get a job to pay back the semester money. ❞