How To Keep New Year's Resolutions
In American culture it is customary to make promises of personal change for the new year. Many people decline to make these New Year’s resolutions, perhaps because they are already perfect or just disinclined to think about the ways in which they are not (a whole other story). Some people, having failed in keeping past resolutions, feel they know better than to disappoint themselves by making and breaking yet more change resolutions. Some people are just too cool to do something as cheesy as make a New Year’s resolution. Those people aside, many people do make vows of personal change at the beginning of the New Year. Sadly, though, most of these change hopefuls seem to have difficulty keeping the promises they made to themselves. It is these people to whom this blog entry is dedicated.
Dear People Who Made New Year’s Resolutions, please remember that change is a process that begins with thinking about change, then planning for change, and then actually changing. This is change process is described by the transtheoretical model of change. You will not be successful if you stop with your promise and decline to make and enact a plan. Change resolutions are not wishes granted by some New Year’s genie; you need some follow-through.
The plan you make should involve very specific, challenging yet attainable goals. These goals should be measurable so that you can track and reward progress. This is called “goal setting” and it is a motivational technique supported by years of research. For example, your goal should not just be "exercise more," it should be "exercise for this amount of time on these days and times by doing these things." You need to craft a specific plan that plots a clear path to your goals.
So that you are not too quick to give up if you "slip," accept that old habits are hard to break and new ones take time to develop. Much of our behavior consists of the unconscious enactment of habits that occur without thinking. This is one thing that makes habits so hard to change. So one key to change, especially at the beginning, is the use of reminders without which, you may simply lapse into tried-and-true behavior patterns. You may find it useful to post sticky note prompts to help you remember, or phone alarms reminding you to perform the new, desired behavior.
Making a public commitment, for example, telling people of your goals is also helpful since we do not want others to think us weak or hypocritical. Do what you can to remind yourself to do the new behavior and it will become habit after a time (perhaps as quickly as three weeks). Then you can mindlessly do things that are good for you instead of mindlessly doing things that aren't.
Psychologists would also say that another barrier to change is ambivalence (this comes from a perspective called "motivational interviewing"). In other words, there are some good things associated with the behavior you need to change and some bad things about the new behavior you're trying to adopt. One thing that is sometimes helpful is to remind yourself very regularly of the ways in which changing your behavior fits with important personal goals and how not changing does the opposite. You may want to write this down and post it in some personal space in your home, or if you are in seventh grade, you can write it on your hand.
Many people also find that social support is helpful for keeping on track. For example, Weight Watchers is one of the more effective weight loss programs because people meet regularly in a group setting where they receive inspiration and encouragement from others and publicly track progress towards their goals. You may need to change the people you hang out with. Sometimes certain people or groups are invested in continuing the very behavior we want to change and hanging with these people makes changing difficult. You may need to cultivate relationships with people that are also committed to your new, healthy behaviors or at least support, rather than ridicule or otherwise sabotage your change.
