Asexual and Aromantic Devotion
Asexual, A-spectrum, and aromantic folks are an important part of the queer community, but these identities are often left out of discussions of queer history. Well, not today! To my ace* and aro* friends: you are valid, you have a place in this community, and today we're here to talk about gods and spirits associated with your identities!
An asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. The term "asexuality" was first coined in the 1890s, but records of people we would now call asexual go back much further than that. This is different from celibacy or abstinence. While celibacy is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation and is part of a person's core identity.
An aromantic person is someone who does not experience romantic attraction. Some people are both aromantic and asexual, sometimes shortened to aroace. Other people might be aromantic but experience sexual attraction, or might be asexual but experience romantic attraction. For example, someone might identify as an asexual lesbian or as an aromantic bisexual.
There are several other identities related to asexuality and/or aromanticism. Asexual author Athens Webster uses the term A-spectrum to refer to "the multitude of micro-labels that fall under the terms asexual and aromantic." For example, demisexual people (people who experience sexual attraction only to people they have an emotional connection to) and graysexual people (people who experience sexual attraction to a lesser than average degree) are considered to be on the A-spectrum. For more information about A-spectrum identities and relationships, I recommend Webster's excellent zine, Queer Platonic Relationships: A Guide to the Aro/Ace Spectrum, Friendships, Zucchinis, and Other Terms.
Below are a few of the deities and spirits that are strongly connected to A-spectrum identities. (A lot of this information comes from my upcoming book, Lavender Witchcraft, coming in August of this year from Moon Books.)
Content Warning: this post contains a brief mention of attempted sexual assault in the context of a Roman myth.
Artemis is strongly associated with sapphic identities, but there is also a case to be made for her as an asexual and/or aromantic goddess. (Remember, someone can be both sapphic and ace/aro!) Artemis notably never married and spent her time roaming the wilds with her hunters. She was considered one of the "virgin goddesses" of Hellenic (ancient Greek) religion, alongside Athena and Hestia. Many modern ace/aro pagans see their identities reflected in Artemis's mythology. Artemis's other associations include the moon, hunting, wilderness, childbirth, and virginity, and she is said to be the protector of young girls.
To connect with Artemis, consider placing an image of her in your sacred space. You can also write out her name in Ancient Greek to place in your sacred space. (Check Wikipedia to find the Ancient Greek symbols for her name.) Symbols associated with her include the deer, the snake, the bow and arrows, the crescent moon, and the spear. Like all Hellenic gods, she can be honored with offerings of fruit, flowers, incense, or honey.
Athena is another of the Hellenic virgin goddesses. Athena is a deeply queer deity in more ways than one, as we can see in stories of her birth: she was born fully grown and armored from her father, Zeus's, head. Hellenic sources describe her as being "immune to Aphrodite's charms," i.e., not feeling sexual desire or romantic love.
Athena is the goddess of wisdom, war, strategy, weaving, and crafts. She is the patron goddess of the city of Athens and several of her temples are still standing today, most notably the Parthenon. Her role as a feminine war deity subverts Hellenic gender roles, since war was very much seen as men's work in Hellenic culture.
To connect with Athena, consider placing an image of her in your sacred space. You can also write out her name in Ancient Greek to place in your sacred space. Symbols associated with her include owls, olive trees, snakes, the helmet and spear, the Aegis (Athena's shield), and the distaff. Like all Hellenic gods, she can be honored with offerings of fruit, flowers, incense, or honey.
Vesta is the Roman goddess of the hearth and home. Like Artemis and Athena, Vesta is considered a virgin goddess, which is especially interesting because of her association with motherhood. Vesta was syncretized with the Hellenic goddess Hestia, although there are differences between the two. She was one of, if not the most widely worshiped deity in ancient Rome. Although most of her worship took place within the home, she was also considered a goddess of democracy and her priestesses, the Vestal Virgins, held a lot of political power.
One story of Vesta may be unfortunately relatable to folks on the A-spectrum who have experienced someone trying to push their boundaries or pressure them into sex. In Ovid's Fasti, the god Priapus attempted to sexually assault Vesta while she was asleep at a feast. A donkey brayed in warning, which woke Vesta up before she could be assaulted and drew the attention and anger of the other gods. This myth explains why donkeys are sacred to Vesta. On a more positive note, this story shows the other gods affirming and defending Vesta's decision not to have sex or romantic relationships.
To connect with Vesta, consider representing her in your sacred space with a candle or lamp. (Unlike other Roman deities, Vesta is typically not depicted in human form. She is usually shown in Roman art as a fire.) You can also write out her name in the ancient Latin alphabet to place in your sacred space. Symbols associated with her include fire, the hearth, donkeys, and geese. Like all Roman deities, she can be honored with offerings of fruit, honey, milk, wine, flowers, or incense. Traditionally, offerings to Vesta are burnt or thrown into a fire.
These are only a few of many, many deities and spirits associated with A-spectrum identities. If this is a topic that interests you, I strongly encourage you to do your own research. And if I missed your favorite asexual or aromantic deity, please let me know!
If you enjoyed this post and would like to dive deeper, please consider preordering my upcoming book on queer magical practice!










