#questioning biromantic

[lonelylittledot]

more like sexual disorientation

[raavenb2619]

I think I’m ace? I’m 15 and basically everyone in my class has had sex or thinks about it and I just can’t relate. The idea of sex doesn’t appeal to me, I just don’t get why people would want it, but a romantic partner sounds nice! Someone I can kiss, cuddle or play games, I don’t mind the gender, so I think that makes me pan-ace? Is that what asexuality is? The lack of interest in sex or things related to it?

It definitely sounds to me like you could be asexual and alloromantic. I’m neither bi nor pan, so whether what you are feeling would better be described as biromanticism or panromanticism is something I can’t really speak to, but I’d definitely encourage you to do some research and try on some labels if you want. 

Some aces are sex-favorable/can enjoy having sex, while others are sex-indifferent or sex-repulsed, so I would characterize asexuality as a question of whether one experiences sexual attraction, rather than if someone is interested in sex and sex-adjacent topics. That said, it’s fine if you explain your sexual orientation to other people by talking about how you don’t experience sexual attraction and aren’t interested in sex, because then you’re talking about your personal experiences, not the experiences of the entire community. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[raavenb2619]

I'm biromantic, asexual, though still heavily questioning I'm pretty certain, and I've been having a bit of a dilemma as of late, I feel like I'm not valid, I have no interest in being in a relationship sexually at least, but I still read smut, what do you think?

I think you’re totally valid! One important thing to remember is that action =/= attraction. Whether or not you’re interested in a sexual relationship and/or read smut doesn’t necessarily affect your sexuality (although information like that can help inform you when you’re figuring this stuff out); so if you were interested in a sexual relationship and read smut, but didn’t experience sexual attraction, you could still be asexual.

It’s also possible, if you’re sex-averse or sex-repulsed, that a sexual relationship with another physical person would make you uncomfortable, but since smut just happens all in your head, it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. If that’s the case, you’re valid, and if not, you’re still valid.

I hope that helps, you can pm me or send me more asks if you have more questions/want to chat further.

[lgbt-advise]

I'm a 16 year old girl and i label myself as bisexual heteroromantic since i don't really see myself dating a girl and stuff but lately i have been thinking about dating girls and all that stuff. I'm really confused though because i see myself dating one but then the feeling goes away.

Well, there’s a term that people in the asexual spectrum sometimes use to describe attraction that disappears or that they don’t want reciprocated: Lithromantic.  So that might be something worth looking into for you.

You could also just change your orientation to biromantic bisexual.  If you feel the attraction it can be a part of your orientation, even if you don’t want to act on it.

Or you could keep the orientation you have, and then if anyone asks explain that you’re confused or still kind of questioning.

-Brenna