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R.A.I.N.

Tous, nous nous égarons dans la forêt touffue de nos vies, empêtrés dans nos préoccupations et nos planifications de chaque instant, nos efforts acharnés pour répondre à ce qui est exigé de nous et trouver une solution à toutes sortes de problèmes – sans oublier les jugements d’autrui. Quand on est prisonnier d’un semblable maquis, il est facile de perdre de vue l’essentiel. D’oublier combien on…

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#émotion #liberté #R.A.I.N.#Tara Brach

Paseo por el mundo de la música

#r.a.i.n.#post rock #magallanes

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5 Steps to More Self-Kindness: the Ultimate Self-Care Practice

I’m a recovering perfectionist. This character trait can be life-saving in dire circumstances. After I experienced a traumatic life event at 16, I didn’t want to get out of bed. But, I told myself I’m strong. I’m a survivor. I can do anything I set my mind to. I did it. My power to motivate myself got me out of that bed and back into my life.

This character trait can also be life-blocking if I let it get out of control. “Why aren’t you doing better? Everyone one else does this so well. What’s wrong with you?“ I can become paralyzed with fear that I won’t do an amazing job. This fear can slow me down from even trying new things. I’ve learned to be okay with making mistakes. It’s not a catastrophe. I can live and learn and become better. But, oh, this can be so hard.

What I’ve learned is that offering myself kindness can be a huge help to unfreeze the barriers that prevent my life from flowing. I practice letting myself be okay with trying to do things. I offer myself support for my best efforts even if it falls short of the best thing that ever happened. I’m learning to give myself a pat on the back. And, even more importantly, to forgive myself.

This is self-compassion in action. Self-compassion is nothing more than offering the same kindness and support to yourself that you would give to a good friend or loved one. Practicing self-compassion and forgiveness is a significant self-care practice. We can strengthen our ability to be kind toward our self with practice. I know because I work on this all the time!

As you increase mindful awareness of your thoughts, you may notice more of your self-talk and hear when you criticize yourself for not living up to your own high standards. Sometimes, we speak more harshly to ourselves, than to any one around us.

Now, as we navigate the end of this pandemic that feels like forever, you can practice giving yourself some extra kind understanding. These steps are based on the modern mindfulness practice of R.A.I.N. with additional insight from compassion research. The last point is one impressed upon us by ancient wisdom teachings and reinforced by contemporary studies.

5 Steps:

Recognize what you’re feeling. Reflect on what emotions are dominating your frame of mind. Is it sadness, anger, fear, happiness or boredom? Often when our minds are racing, we’re experiencing multiple emotions. Reflect on what combination you can identify.

Allow. Let yourself be with what is. Instead of trying to push away the feelings, judge the feelings as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ or ignore them, allow yourself to acknowledge that you have the feelings. For example, tell yourself, “I’m feeling tired, frustrated. I want this to end.” Notice how that feels to let yourself allow what is simply there, to be as it is.

Investigate. You might want to journal. Notice where you feel the feelings in your body. As you let them be, look deeper. Can you identify what’s causing them? Is it reminding you of anything else in your past? Investigate the ‘stories’ you attach to what those feelings mean to you in your life. For example, are you catastrophizing? If yes, can you think of what may have happened to cause you to associate the worst case scenario with a particular emotional combination?

Nurture. Ask your inner wisdom what do you need to feel better? More rest? A bigger perspective? Some laughs? Time in nature? What would help you feel better most? What can you do or give to yourself?

Notice you’re not alone and forgive/accept yourself. Often, we feel like we’re the only ones that feel a particular way. The ego can be very self-centered when given a chance. But, the good news is that we’re human, similar to many of our fellow humans. We even share some emotions with our fellow mammals. We are not alone. So, give yourself a break. This is hard. Life is not perfect. Acknowledge and know you’re doing your best. If you feel that self-judgment creeping in, notice it and perhaps ask it to give you a break. Perhaps acknowledge that what you need most right now is simply support. Be the support that you need.

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15 Minute Guided R.A.I.N. Meditation

If you prefer to listen to podcasts, you can download this onto your smart phone:

#Tips #Mindfulness #Guided Meditation #R.A.I.N.#Self-Compassion #Self-Care #Self-Love

I’ve had a hard week, emotionally. I’m PMSing, my husband has been super busy and slightly annoying (Aries hate to feel like someone else is taking credit for their work and will look for it in ANY corner), I’ve felt unloved by friends, and I had to get both a pap smear and a mammogram in preparation for our donor egg program.

I have a huge backlog of audible books, so I practiced a little self care and chose Sharon Salzberg’s Real Love to start this week. Dudes, she is the best. She’s the first person who was able to help me meditate, I love the sound of her voice, and I really needed to hear what she was laying down right now.

Yesterday I listened to her talk about R.A.I.N. (Recognize, Acknowledge, Investigate, Non-Identify). I focused on feeling hurt by my friends. I knew I was hurt because I kept looping back to it and letting it distract me. It made me feel jealous and unloved. But I also felt bad because I knew they did not intentionally intend on hurting me and I’m sure I’ve done a similar thing to one of them. Did I even want to do the thing the excluded me from? If I want to do these things with them I can initiate them. I am feeling these things because I feel unlovable right now, not because they did anything. Rather than try to hurt them back by avoiding them indefinitely, I am going to focus on seeing them and extending the same loving-kindness I need to extend to myself, to them.

Good night and thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#sharon salzberg #r.a.i.n.#meditation #loving kindness